Fitness Minutes: (119,750)
28 12/9/12 11:30 A
First step realization, 2nd step, forgiveness to yourself, 3rd step day by day decision making! You can do this and you have done it before. The best part is that you know how to do it so that makes it easier than trying to figure that part out. You already know what works so start to do it again. Look into the complete money makeover by Dave Ramsey, I love that guy. I have 3 kids a husband who works for peanuts and we paid off a ton of debt by implementing that system. It too was hard work but now it is a relief. Ask your fiance for support to help keep you on track as well but in a good way. Stay focused and positive; you CAN beat this.
I can pretty much relate to your story about moving in a room mate while you're in a committed relationship with someone (same thing, my fiance's alcholic brother. Him living with us didn't last long at all)
I can relate to your stress. At that time, I wasn't even paying attention to my food intake. I had lost an intial 30 pounds, but then after he moved in, I slowly started drinking, and then gained it back. That's over now. You should first congratulate yourself for keeping your relationship strong through this. Now that he's moved out, you can start to pick up the pieces again. I found having a terrible room mate was somewhat traumatic. I had to give myself time before I could start losing weight again. Just let the dust settle, and pick it up when you're ready.
Edited by: STARDUST2K4 at: 12/9/2012 (02:06)
Fitness Minutes: (40,111)
25,362 12/8/12 5:07 P
I had a thought too, given the title of this thread "Three Bad Weeks and 30 lbs later... " DO you mean that the 30lb gain was in THREE WEEKS? If so it won't be food that caused that much weight-gain. You might be better to talk about it with your Dr and be checked for medical conditions that can cause this. Some can even cause/increase depression!
Fitness Minutes: (2,437)
12/8/12 11:40 A
I have been married now for fifteen years and in that time I have gone from 100 lbs anorexic to now 200 lbs battling depression over the issues of life. I have made this commitment this time that there will be no time frame just the rest of my life each day only to look at itself. Thank you for this day and I will make the most of it today; and only worry about today, not yesterday and not tomorrow. Your weight doesn't define you, your job doesn't define you- what is inside you defines you. This is a long haul journey that I am working on. When your weight comes and goes what will be that thing that remains- that will determine your happiness, and health.
Fitness Minutes: (40,111)
25,362 12/7/12 5:17 P
Don't go beating yourself up for having fallen off the wagon. Most of us do this at some stage, at varying degrees. The good news is that you are back now, and have also removed some of the extra stress you were under - your fiance's friend! Buying a house is one of the most stressful things that we will ever do in our lives, too. Now that most of that is deal with that stress will start to reduce too.
If you still find that your depression continues, please make an appointment with your Dr and explain what is going on. As for a referral to a Therapist to help you - they are wonderful for giving us the tools to help us deal with stressful situations, which can help reduce the chances of slipping back into the old ways.
You have done brilliantly well so far, and I am really sure that you will be able to continue.
BIG hugs, Kris
Fitness Minutes: (268,314)
12/7/12 3:48 P
You can't beat yourself up because you've regained some of the weight you've lost over the last three weeks. That's something that has happened to every single member of Spark People at one time or another. We're all experts at having gained, lost and regained weight. That was the past. You can't change the past, but you CAN influence and change the future.
No one is going to fault you for turning to food during a stressful time. It really has happened to us all. Put it behind you. It's time to look forward instead of backwards. As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for the POSITIVE things you do for yourself. And don't beat yourself up because you haven't been perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.
Start slowly. Don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated. Times are tough financially for many people. You do the best you can. Like I said, you don't have to be perfect to be healthy. As I tell anyone who will listen to me,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.
Think progress, not perfection. If you ever need support, post in the forums. The SP community will support you.
Glad you got rid of the slacker friend. Can't be much of a friend if they aren't willing to own up to their mistakes.
Fitness Minutes: (72,908)
12/7/12 3:44 P
Well I think you need to give yourself some credit for getting back on Spark and getting back on track. Those things are hard!
I understand where you are coming from. I lost 95 lbs and gained 15 lbs after shoulder surgery, recovery, my husband's diagnosis with cancer and his subsequent surgery plus teenagers. The Clean Eating lifestyle works for me and I'm back to either (1) tracking my food, or (2) texting my accountability partner what I'm eating. I'm increasing my fitness minutes as well.
Did it make me angry that the jeans I could wear last year don't fit - very. I'm trying to use that to fuel my workouts. The good news is we've lost it before and we can lose it again. Make a menu plan for the week and do your best to stick to it. Get your fiance on board and let him help - that is what your partner is for right?
We won't be perfect everyday for the rest of our lives. What matters is not giving up after a period where we were just human. Best wishes to you!
12/7/12 3:35 P
First of all, congratulations for getting yourself back on track! Secondly, quit beating yourself up!! Guilt and regret doesn't change a thing, and just brings you down even more. Let it go. Acknowledge that you made some mistakes - and then walk away from it. Make a plan each day of what steps you are going to take to make it a healthy day - and repeat daily - giving yourself some kudos along the way. Make plans on how to eat healthy at home, and maybe spend one day making the meals for the rest of the week. Stand up straight - take deep breaths, and get moving in the right direction. When you feel out of control again, just pause, reflect on how much you have accomplished in the last year (you are still way ahead of the game), take some deep breaths, focus, and make the right choices). You can do it!! Again, the guilt serves no purpose at all - let it go!! Sending a hug!!
Fitness Minutes: (1,306)
12/7/12 3:23 P
I successfully lost about 86 lbs last year (from around 310 to 224) and kept it off...until this last month or so, where up till about 5 days ago we went out every single day because of how insanely BUSY we were. I know how to make good choices but finding the willpower to do so is hard when you're up to your ovaries in stress and anxiety about the mortgage (we just bought a house together) and your fiance's stupid friend who moved in nine months ago, trashed his room, nearly lit the house on fire and NEVER PAID A DIME of the five hundred he promised us every month...we got rid of him, finally, but the cleanup and stress of that plus a new job and before that job hunting just screwed me.
I gained 30 lbs back...and now I'm back on Body For Life For Women (Pamela Peeke) which is the eating system I got used to over that year that I am actually comfortable with having for the rest of my life, as is Steve (my wonderful fiance), but I can't shake the depression and self-hate that came with gaining back those 30 lbs. I am back to exercising 6 times a week in the morning before work, but I can't shake this resentment in the back of my head for the fact that I "fell off" for a whole month straight...I managed to stick to my eating plan at the least even when I hurt my back at the deli, but a little bit of stress messes me up for a whole month straight? And eating out all the time WRECKED our finances too...so much extra money spent. My fiance doesn't blame me for it but I do. And to be honest, I am dealing with the self esteem issue that stems from the fact that not only am I WAY overweight compared to him but I only make half of what he does...and all of it at the same time is crushing me. I was doing so well! Does anyone have any advice?
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