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TOGEMON Posts: 244
7/3/13 4:01 P

She moved over to the Diet and Nutrition boards.

LILLIPUTIANNA Posts: 1,038
7/3/13 1:59 P

My guess is HONEYLISSABEE is gone. She did say "goodbye."



BAREFOOT-LISA Posts: 1,400
7/3/13 10:06 A

AZULVIOLETA6, you always have great advice, but this is my favorite to date: It also means that you can't eat like a stoner run amok in a middle school cafeteria during the other two meals of the day and still lose weight--that's just reality. !!

I am glad to see you haven't left the boards Lissa, it can be frustrating trying to make strangers understand your situation, but just keep at your goals, you'll get there. You've been given some really great advice!

AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (59,957)
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Posts: 2,844
7/2/13 7:15 P

This makes me sad because I can see that you are struggling and I can also see that you have a lot of people who are genuinely trying to give you helpful advice. Losing weight is hard and it is frustrating. It just IS. Lots of things that are worth doing in life are hard and frustrating. This is just reality.

You can always choose to give up or to take a break...but that means that you are just going to have to come back to the problem again later. Do you want to be here when you are 31 and weigh 300 pounds? If you keep eating the way that you are, that is where you will end up. You are young and healthy and if you just make some better choices with food, you absolutely will lose weight.

The fact that you are exercising is great. The fact that you are tracking is great. Now you just need to work on the food part of things, little by little. You don't have to take every piece of advice that you get and you don't have to fix everything all at once. However, I think that if you ignore everything that people here have to say, you are missing out on a good resource and lots of wisdom that comes from experience.

It is totally possible to go out, to be social, to eat at restaurants and still lose weight. I go out at least once a week and I've lost 90 pounds. It takes some planning, some self-discipline and some trial and error, but it CAN be done. It also means that you can't eat like a stoner run amok in a middle school cafeteria during the other two meals of the day and still lose weight--that's just reality.

DESCHROMA Posts: 180
7/2/13 10:49 A

I don't know you, and I don't believe I've ever responded to a thread of yours. In fact, I rarely respond, because I feel I'm more in the position to ask then answer. Lol.

I too have felt discouraged after posing a question and not getting the feedback I wanted. I've been frustrated about how slow I was losing weight, and wanted to lose more. People on here had responses ranging from the very helpful (stats, numbers, explanations) and the not so helpful (one liners like "the OP can't be serious").

And I got a little irritated. I was striving to be 90 lbs, at 4'10. I was convinced it was healthy, and that people were being rude and unfair.

The reality is, the people who responded took time out of their day to express something. Was it always a brick of gold? No. But I believe it came from a place of sincere emotion and an attempt to help.

When we put ourselves out there, we may not always get the feedback we want. We can feel like we are on the defensive; having to explain our choices and our thought process, having to explain why our body is different, and why they don't really understand.

Every 'body' is different. And random people on the Internet may not always understand. But one great thing a board like this can offer is the chance to analyze why we feel defensive, and to confront the fact that maybe deep down we know that our thought process regarding weight or health or whatever else, may have a few flaws to it.

In order to change we have to confront the idea that our reasoning, our excuses, and our expectations, may need to be reconsidered.

Ultimately, is the goal not feeling healthy and happy? This is something only you can achieve for yourself. Some people have greater obstacles in achieving that; (cough: I take anti-depressants and meditate every day) The trick is, finding what works for you, and being confident enough in your choices and happy enough in your life that other people's suggestions are just that; suggestions! Ideas to chew on, incorporate, or reject.

Best of luck to you :D

HOOSIERNATIVE46 Posts: 173
7/1/13 9:09 A

Sounds like you are receiving a great deal of input. The thing is, it is not working for you at this time in your life. I agree with you. Take a break from this message board. Keep the parts of SP that are working for you. And enjoy life! That's what it is all about. Loving ourselves, and choosing a healthier lifestyle. Have fun!

TURQUOISEBIKE SparkPoints: (1,015)
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Posts: 55
7/1/13 8:23 A

What this saga has reminded me of is the story of the little boy who was given a handful of acorns and told that they would grow into oak trees if he planted them. He goes away and plants them, and then checks the spot a few days later: no sign of any oak trees. So he decides the acorns were duds and starts to dig them up again ...

Making new plans every second week about which trigger foods to eliminate or restrict or change around involves an awful lot of time spent thinking about food and a lot of emotional energy focussed on denial and willpower and lust and all sorts of emotional stuff. It's like continually planting acorns and digging them up again. Those flurries of activity don't quiet your mind, and you need some tranquility in your life when you're trying to lose weight.

If I were you, I would spend more time working out how to make quick, healthy, satisfying, filling, tasty, enjoyable budget meals - you might even hit on the occasional recipe that your Dad likes. I would have only two rules for the trigger foods/junk: always eat a proper meal first so that you are enjoying the taste of junk food when you do eat it, but not trying to fill yourself up with something that can't do that job. And take a portion out of the packet, give it a long stare, and put the rest back before you start to munch mindfully.

That relaxed regime (putting lots of mental energy into shopping, cooking etc. but not investing much emotional energy into weight loss, choosing to focus only on the healthy stuff and topping that up with whatever junk you really want) would possibly take you where it has taken me - to the point where you're still slightly overweight, but out of "health crisis" territory and into the world of problem zones and vanity pounds. You're young and you can exercise, so you don't have to be ridiculously strict with yourself if you have a generous timeframe for your weight loss, maybe a year or two.

I'll have to adjust my attitudes to food and eating and firm up my regime a bit if I want to get off my current plateau. I might have to start counting calories or making the kinds of decisions (eliminating XYZ temporarily etc.) you seem to spend a lot of time thinking about. But I'm glad that I reorganized my grocery shopping and cooking to fit in healthier choices without any big emotional battles with myself before getting into all that.




EDENFELL Posts: 207
6/30/13 10:31 P

Hi Lissa,

I read your post and hear you saying that you're making changes but no one is appreciating the fact that you're trying and making those changes and when others try to suggest different ideas, you feel like they are picking on you and not really understanding your situation. I've been in situations where I'm just overwhelmed with things in my life and even a small change is a big deal so it is really great that you're making the changes you are. Just know that people aren't going to completely understand your life from a message board post. They are doing the best they can to be helpful and even if it comes across to you as insensitive, you need to take a step back and ask yourself what your advice to yourself would be if you were responding to your own post. It's not that you're not good enough..it's that you need to trust that you *are* good enough and take all the good things that are relevant to you from all the responses to your posts and do what works for you in your life. Hang in there. You're worth it. Trust yourself and trust that people here are trying to be as helpful as they can. We all want for you to be successful. emoticon

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (131,717)
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Posts: 21,641
6/30/13 9:37 P

Sweetie - I have read most of your posts, and responded on a lot. We have all given loads of suggestions - some are excellent, some not so much, but the point is, there has always been a 'reason' (excuse) as to why you can't or won't. I think what it boils down to is that your mind WANTS to lose weight, but you just aren't really quite in that place to fully commit to it!

Kudos to you for having made the positive changes you have - you HAVE made some good food swaps/reductions, and you ARE getting in exercise. Unfortunately for you, to lose the weight you will have to make even MORE healthy food choices, and commit to reducing your calories further.

Good luck, and best wishes for a healthy journey!
Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 6/30/2013 (21:38)
IZZY216 SparkPoints: (6,574)
Fitness Minutes: (2,035)
Posts: 306
6/30/13 8:42 P

HONEYLISSABEE
I have not read a lot of your post, but I have read some of the response to this topic of leaving.
I always try to give everyone the benefit of doubt. It is obvious that you are struggling with weight loss issues and that maybe you feel that you are not getting the help you need. Message boards sometimes can be confusing with all the different groups and topics. Its difficult to find just which one best suits your needs. I know a times that some groups can even seem "click-ish"(forming their own little groups with no room for others). Kind of like when you were in high school, you know. The popular girls had their group and so on. emoticon Well some times we are looking for that group that will hold our hand and tell us what you want to hear. But that would not get us the results that we want and need. I think for the most part, that this is a great place to get support and give support. But if you feel that its truly not what you need. Then its simple. Just stop posting and check out other support sites. There are so many good ones out there, I am sure you will discover just what you are looking for. I wish you luck on your journey and never stop trying. HUGS

FUNLOVEN SparkPoints: (21,278)
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Posts: 535
6/30/13 11:40 A

This is a new message board for me that Spark Coach brought me too so excuse me for jumping in here but the topic sounded interesting. You all may really let me have it if you don't like my comment, but so be it.

After reading this topic from top to bottom I became curious about what everyone was talking about so I went and read the last two topics HONEYLISSABEE started. Due to time constraints I did not read all of the second topic I found. I didn't think they sounded all that bad. She is working on setting up a plan for herself that will work for her. Many of her comments were positive and polite replies.

Something crossed my mind. I don't use the message boards because for me there are sooo many topics that I find it all overwhelming. Since I joined Spark Coach I learned about blogging on SP and find it very enjoyable, helpful, and it adds a personal touch to read my SP friend's blogs. But for other people it may be their only outlet to communicate with other SP members, to talk things out, to vent, a means to work their ideas out "in print" so to speak.

I have a tendency to be a problem solver and I want to be helpful but, I once had a friend who said to me "You know when I am talking to you about something that is troubling me I am not always looking for a solution because I most likely have already tried all of the solutions you suggest. Sometimes I just need you to listen!"

ANNROW0354 Posts: 603
6/28/13 9:07 P

I have a feeling there is a lot more going on here than you are telling us in this post. Like it or not, part of the purpose of these message boards is accountability. Every small change you make that is beneficial to developing a healthier lifestyle is a step in the right direction. But if we could lose weight by making a couple of small changes, it wouldn't be such a struggle. You can eat out and make good nutritional choices and there are articles on this site and other sites that can help you. Do you have any friends that you socialize with that you can get to support you with this without feeling like you are being attacked for the choices you are making? Every one has an opinion but in the end it's just an opinion.
I have just started reading "The Spark" (not The Spark Solution). It is written by the founder of SparkPeople and I am finding it very enlightening with regards to the philosophy of SparkPeople and how you can apply it to every area of your life.
Don't be so hard on yourself. You aren't a failure. Maybe your weight isn't coming off as fast as you would like, but you aren't what you weigh. Think of all the positive changes you have made so far and concentrate on making more good habits rather than breaking bad habits.

Good luck!

Ann

ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,442
6/27/13 9:16 P

Lissa,

I really had to think about this before I posted. As others have said, many folks have taken time and effort to provide you with thoughtful advice. In my opinion, they do so because they care. Deciding to leave the Message Boards is your decision. I sincerely hope that you don't just resign yourself to, "being fat" (your words). Don't give up on yourself.

Jami

TOGEMON Posts: 244
6/27/13 2:38 P

I agree with Dragonchilde in that eating out does NOT have to be a problem. I eat out three times a week (and yeah, I know that's more than I should)... and I'm losing weight. I would lose more weight, faster, if I stayed in or was more careful about what I ate in restaurants, but just a few small changes have shown me progress.

You listed some changes you've made, and all of those are good. Just keep doing them! Looking at your Sparkpage, it seems like you're starting diets and plans but not following through long enough to see progress. You say your motivation dwindles, and that's the hard part - you have to keep trying even if you don't feel motivated.

You're only 21, so you still have a lot of time ahead of you... you just need to COMMIT to the healthy lifestyle instead of writing it off because it "seems out of reach." Some of the other posters who know you better than I do are saying you don't seem like you're ready to make that commitment yet. If you aren't, that's fine, but be aware that it's YOUR decision. People on the message board, your parents, or whoever can't make you commit, nor can they be your excuse not to commit. It's up to you.

When I was your age, I was still pretty dramatic too; like another poster, I kind of see myself in you threatening to leave the message board or saying "Fine, I'll just stay fat." I was like that, especially online. If you do think you need a break from Spark, just take one! You don't need to announce it to anyone or get anyone's permission.

If your Fitbit entries are correct on your tracker, then you are already doing good on exercise! You're burning a lot of calories each day.

EDIT: I found your food tracker on myfitnesspal, and I think that is where you need to make your next changes. It looks like you're skipping some meals then eating a lot at others... and honestly, it looks like the meals you eat at home are higher calorie than what you eat out. For instance, your breakfast today says one individual pizza, 10 Little Debbie Zebra Cakes, and 10 ounces of chips. If this is accurate, in one meal you've eaten twice your daily goal in calories. This also means you'll gain about a pound in two days. Getting steps and fitness is definitely good, but it's not enough to counter that kind of calorie intake. I'm sorry, and I'm not trying to be rude, but you're not going to lose weight that way. My suggestion would be to work on one meal at a time. There are lots of suggestions for healthy breakfasts around here; if you could replace this kind of breakfast with one of the many on Spark, that would give you a good, healthy start to each day. Eat your other two meals as you have been for a while until you get used to a healthier breakfast, then maybe try altering your lunches, etc.

Finally, one more suggestion I have is about the sticker reward system you have in your blog. It all seems really complicated if you're still using it. Maybe you would get less frustrated if you set up a simpler system, like, if you track daily for a week, you get yourself a little something. I don't do rewards myself-- losing the weight makes me happier than any reward could!-- but if you need the rewards for motivation, that's fine.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps you. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Edited by: TOGEMON at: 6/27/2013 (14:48)
DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (57,014)
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Posts: 9,646
6/27/13 11:13 A

HONEYLISSABEE, I can only speak for myself here, and not others.

I've responded to your posts before, many times. I've offered suggestions, the same as many here have. But like everyone else, any time I make suggestions, you *always* have an excuse for why that won't work for you. Why you can't, or won't, make whatever change it is you asked advice on how to make.

The problem isn't that you eat out. I eat out. Way more than I should. It's not about doing things that others consider unhealthy. It's that you are unwilling to listen to any suggestions anyone else has to say, to the point where I and others have just plain stopped trying. I read every post you make (as I read almost all posts around here) but I don't respond anymore, because there is NO point. Why bother making suggestions when you know they're going to be shot down for arbitrary reasons?

Others, far more persistent than I, have commented many times before, and get the same responses. It's frustrating.

You don't have to explain anything to anyone. This is YOUR journey. But when you make posts like this, and insist that it's OTHER people who are the problem, you are refusing to take responsibility for the choices you have made. You deflect, or even outright misunderstand and respond to the wrong question, then you get upset when someone responds to your answer instead of what you meant.

You use number tricks to hide what you're really eating (like your "net" reporting of 2100-2700 calories instead of the 3000 you're actually eating) to make it seem like you're not eating as much as you are, then you get upset when someone points this out.

Are you ready to lose weight? Honestly, I don't think so. You've been here long enough that you know what changes you need to make. People on this very message board have made countless suggestions to you. You know because you've said it. But when you say things like this:

"I'm not sure of anything that I'd be willing to eliminate from my current diet though."
"I definitely know I eat a lot of junk. Part of it is laziness on my part. Face it."
"I am, however, aware that I, personally, may not be able to eat junk food in multi-serving containers and lose weight."
"I've tried eating smaller meals. It doesn't work for me. "

That shows that you simply aren't ready to make the choices you already need to do.

Right now, you have these people "preventing" you from making healthier choices for your life:

Your father
Your best friend
Your mother
Everyone here at Sparkpeople

When are you going to admit that YOU are the one who has to be responsible for these changes? If your best friend can't accept "I can't go out to eat so often, let's go do something else instead because I don't want to die fat" then he isn't a best friend. I bet he's more willing to change than you're willing to try to push for, because he's a convenient excuse to allow you to continue poor habits.

If your father refuses to "let you" spend his money on healthy foods, you buy the food you need with yours. If he doesn't like it, *let him complain.* He can buy the damn groceries if he wants something else. That's how it is with my husband. When I buy groceries, I get 2% milk and whole wheat bread. If he wants whole milk and white bread, he gets off his sorry backside and goes to the store. This is something every mom learns early when dealing with toddlers; a toddler who knows that if they cry long enough, they'll get what they want, won't change his behavior. Your father whines and complains because he knows if he does long enough, you'll give in. When you do, you're reinforcing the bad behavior. Is it insulting to compare your dad to a toddler? Probably. But he's acting like one.

You are responsible for you. And until you're ready to understand that, you won't change anything.

You are unwilling to give up *anything* - it's not about just giving up eating out, it's admitting that you have a difficult time controlling yourself eating out, and you refuse to even consider *cutting back*, much less giving it up.

You know what you need to do. We've told you what you can do. You know what your triggers are. And yet, every time you come to a single thing that you are unsure about, you ask AGAIN, and then get pissy when you don't get the answer you want. We don't know what you want. YOU don't know what you want.

You know what you need to do. And we'll be here for you when you're ready to do it. But I, for one, am tired of taking the time to try and help only for every single attempt to be rebuffed with excuses, "I can't" and "Not possible."

It IS possible. You're just not ready to make the choices you already know you need to make.

Edited by: DRAGONCHILDE at: 6/27/2013 (11:32)
FEDGIRL4 Posts: 1,930
6/26/13 1:36 P

I had to think about this before posting.

I too had read some of your other posts and responses to the advice/suggestions.

I immediately thought of two other people when I read your posts. One is a girl who is constantly being criticized by her parents and siblings. They are from "the old country" and are very traditional where they live. Females where they live are not prized like the males. A couple of Spark members, of her same nationality, have told her the family members will most likely not change. Yet she keeps posting the same thread types. Another person was a guy. His job took him on the road in his work truck. He needed suggestions for breakfast, lunch, and snacks. They had to be portable, hand held, and need none or almost no refrigeration. He must have gotten 60 posts. He shot down each one of them and not because of any allergy or medical problem or digestive problem.

We are all at our own level and in the place we should be. But if there is something going on in your life that you have not or will not disclose and you are in a bad mood that day, you will take the suggestions as nit picking.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
6/26/13 1:25 A

I actually read some of the other threads that you've started, and the advice people are giving is fine. Only you can choose whether or not to actually take it and whether or not it's practical for you. If you don't like what people are saying, then simply don't do it. If you feel frustrated with it all, then just give up. Other people can't make you do anything.
I don't read other peoples' responses are 'jumping down your throat'. Honestly, it all reads as you asking what you can do,others giving you good advice, and then you not liking what those responses are because it requires work or seems too hard.

I'm sorry, but this entire process does take work. There actually is a small element of sacrifice involved. I know people don't like to say that a lot on this website, but that's reality. There is no other way to get this under control by continuing habits that got you to where you are now. If you do find a way to make it all work like that, please PLEASE let us know because as far as I know, people have had to work very hard to get to where they are, myself included. It's quite possible that you're not ready for this journey. Luckily, this website isn't going anywhere any time soon.

You can definitely get healthy and lead a healthy lifestyle, but you can't expect someone else to police your actions and make sure you're "doing it right"-especially if you're going to get upset as a result. This has to start with you taking personal responsibility for your actions and thinking about what you really want for yourself.

Good luck to you and I really hope you do find out what works for you.

SIMPLELIFE2 Posts: 707
6/26/13 12:04 A

"But clearly because I'm not willing to stop eating out, I'm not ready to make the necessary changes to lose weight. Oh well. Guess I'll get used to being fat."

Instead of finding solutions, you've found another excuse. Why would you let "meanies" on a message board determine your fate and your future? But, I guess you can blame your lack of success on anonymous people on a message board for not being supportive enough.

All I see here are supportive people willing to spend hours of their own time, most without pay, to help, encourage, inform and motivate others. Most are very appreciative of this kindness. However, here's the pattern I see on the threads you start: You state a problem, four people offer suggestions, you reject them all for one reason or another, more people try to help, you reject more suggestions -- I can't, I won't, I don't are frequently used -- and then people start getting frustrated, and then you get hostile toward them. Typing in all caps is a very hostile action on a message board. You are shouting at people.

If it was just one or two people, perhaps your bully theory would be more credible. But, it's not. People who get along with everyone have trouble reaching out to you. Lots of them. At this point, a serious, mature person would engage in some introspection. Perhaps it's not them. Perhaps it is me.

A serious, mature person would not post a message threatening to leave. Is this a threat? Be nicer to me or I'll leave. A cry for even more attention? I don't know. But if you feel that you are not getting what you need from here or it is not helping, just stop posting. Why create drama? And then you wonder why people have an attitude toward you. Look inside yourself for the answers. And once you find those, I think you also will find the key to success in your weight loss journey.

All the best to you. Really.

OKIE30 SparkPoints: (3,534)
Fitness Minutes: (600)
Posts: 196
6/25/13 9:19 P

Good luck, to you on your journey!

BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,310
6/25/13 6:21 P

"But clearly because I'm not willing to stop eating out, I'm not ready to make the necessary changes to lose weight. Oh well. Guess I'll get used to being fat."

--------------

If you wish to consume 3000+ calories of mainly-junk-food on an almost-daily basis, yes, you will have to accept that your weight is not going to change (except perhaps to go higher).

So what? What's wrong with being fat? I've made that choice. I've prioritized my food habits and "lifestyle" over my health for many years. I've said "if that is what i'd have to do to be thin, i'd rather be fat!" and hello 245#! But... Big deal? There are worse things a person can be than "fat."


VELVETMERLIN Posts: 229
6/25/13 6:07 P

Lissa

I have to agree with everyone on here. I have read your past posts and you look for help, yet you seem to dismiss everyone who is trying to help; not only that, sometimes you get snotty about it. No-one is here to pick on you.

My suggestion is that if you are pretty much doing everything that people are suggesting (within reason) and it's not working, maybe it is time to see a doctor to find out what you can do, and just not come on the message boards at all because it is obviously getting you irritated. You should reread your posts and your answers and see how you come across.

I see a lot of you in me; the only difference is that I don't ask people for help because they are more than likely to suggest something that I already know and I am too stubborn to take it anyway (I obviously don't know everything, but I know a lot about trying to lose weight). I try to give advice when I can and what I suggest to someone may not either work for them or be taken.

You can ***** me out all you want, but we are here to try and help each other and to be honest, whatever you say to me I will not see because this is the only time I am coming on this thread. Contrary to what this post sounds like, I am not trying to pick on you. When I was in my 20s, I was FAMOUS for writing nasty notes to people when they irritated me and trust me-I lost a lot of friends that way and I didn't get them back until I grew up and apologized. I see that in your posts and you have a long way to go if you don't reflect on your life.

You probably won't listen to anything I say anyway but I thought I'd give it a shot. I hate seeing picked on on here (I don't see it too often-very rare, actually) and I will stand up for them if a fight ensues because they read something wrong (in my eyes, anyway) but please, just read how you come across and the answer will be staring right back at you and you can move on from there.

TURQUOISEBIKE SparkPoints: (1,015)
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Posts: 55
6/25/13 6:03 P

You need your own toolbox. Nobody else can make one for you that will truly be your own.

If you find a suggestion or a piece of advice useful, YOU can choose to put it in your toolbox, at least on a trial basis, and maybe to refine it yourself later. If you don't find something useful, that's OK, too. Somebody else may find it useful. Lots of things work for some people and not for others. You don't have to dissect every suggestion in detail and try and pick holes in the ones you don't like. Just focus on adding the ideas that seem good to your repertoire.

That's not something you can fail at - you can only do it more or less well, more or less fast. Failure is not a relevant category and worrying about it wastes brain space. Ideas that seem less good to you will also usually have been offered in good faith by helpful people who were trying to oblige and don't deserve to be attacked. Besides, attacking ideas that strike you as unhelful or irrelevant focusses your attention away from the important stuff that might work and onto the unimportant stuff that might not work.

CLARK971 Posts: 735
6/25/13 5:44 P

Cutting out artificial sweeteners and liquid calories are healthy habits. emoticon

If you compensate by adding other calories, that isn't going to help you. Just make sure your healthy swaps are reducing your overall calories.

"Oh well. Guess I'll get used to being fat." It doesn't have to be hopeless. I think you are misunderstanding the advice people are giving you. Hang in there.

FTSOLK Posts: 1,232
6/25/13 5:31 P

WHAT DO YOU CALL EXERCISING FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES A DAY, MAKING SURE I TRACK MY FOOD, AND EAT FRUIT? IS TAKING A MINIMUM OF 10,000 STEPS A DAY NOT A HEALTHY HABIT?

I suppose cutting out almost all liquid calories (except milk) and eliminating artificial sweeteners don't count either.

And I'm also ELIMINATING one of my FAVORITE foods. Guess that doesn't count?

But clearly because I'm not willing to stop eating out, I'm not ready to make the necessary changes to lose weight. Oh well. Guess I'll get used to being fat.

CHEETARA79 SparkPoints: (75,707)
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Posts: 3,504
6/25/13 5:15 P

Online Now  • ))
No one is ganging up on you. You are putting yourself out there for people to make comments and they are doing just that. Most of the comments have been supportive and very good suggestions. You are choosing to nitpick every little thing that was said to you rather than add healthy habits to your arsenal.

I don't think you're ready to make the necessary changes needed to lose weight. When you are, Spark will be here.

SUSANSEARCY SparkPoints: (6,946)
Fitness Minutes: (4,045)
Posts: 120
6/25/13 4:51 P

In your other recent thread, people weren't "ganging up on you." They were offering you suggestions for a healthier lifestyle and you rejected one idea after another after another. These people are people who care because they understand the desire to lose weight. They are giving you suggestions because they want to help you and because they know these suggestions will work because they've made those healthy choices and seen results. I've been on SP since April 1st and have lost 21.5 pounds so far. Losing weight is a personal choice that takes a lot of sacrifice. When you want to do it, you will. Until then, don't take good advice from a community who cares as an attack.

ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (101,146)
Fitness Minutes: (102,130)
Posts: 13,138
6/25/13 3:13 P

Notice how in every thread you start, it comes back to, "stop making excuses and just do something, anything?"

The problem isn't everyone else. The problem is you.

FTSOLK Posts: 1,232
6/25/13 2:59 P

I really don't know what to do.

If I go on here and say I'm going to make big changes, I'm told to make slower changes that are more likely to last. If I go on here and say I'm making small changes, I'm told they aren't ever going to be good enough.

There's no winning!

I try to take a step in the right direction by changing my diet at home, but all anyone cares about is any junk food I eat out. I have to explain everything I do- why my dad will often give me a hard time about money when I start eating healthier, how I afford to eat out. I feel like I can't get advice for working things out around my current schedule and situation. Rather than getting suggestions for eating out, I'm attacked for eating out at all.

I just cannot take it anymore. I feel like people are ganging up on me, and even if I do stop eating out, cut out anything unhealthy, and give up my entire social life, I will never be able to come on here without anything I've ever said coming back to haunt me. I can go a year without eating at a restaurant, and someone will comment on me eating out too much.

It's just hopeless. Any positive steps I take are overshadowed by a list of reasons why I am still a failure.

I used to come on this section of Sparkpeople for advice, and most of the people on this website are amazing, but there are a select few who are pushing me away.

I am not leaving Sparkpeople or the entire message boards YET, but I think I am at the very least going to say goodbye to the Panic board.

Goodbye

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