"Why not quit worrying about who is sleeping with whom and with what accoutrements?"
My problem with both of those terms is that they imply that the speaker has some right to comment on other people's sexuality or relationship choices. They're both downright creepy, especially the first one-- kinda stalker-like. I don't want to hear about your fantasies regarding a person we both know, regardless of age or gender.
What's a little bit weird is that part of my current job involves giving people safety info about real cougars/panthers/pumas/mountain lions, and I realize that I always refer to the animal as "she" (unless we're talking about a specific individual kitty that's known to be male.) I don't know if it's because of the pop culture use of cougar or if it's just because I think of kitty-like animals as feminine and doggy-like animals as masculine.
Well, if cougar is the mirror to dirty old man...maybe I can live with it.
Why not go back to "cradle robbing," which defines the action, not the actor?
Why not quit worrying about who is sleeping with whom and with what accoutrements?
tpn Lefty liberal artsy-fartsy intellectual ecofreak
Fitness Minutes: (1,508)
4/6/13 2:52 P
Not sure what you mean.
Fitness Minutes: (1,081)
4/6/13 2:25 P
I pay no attention to any of these things. I know who I am and I'm not into all this politically correct stuff. Toughen up. There so many more important things to worry about.
Fitness Minutes: (243,530)
2,243 4/6/13 1:02 P
If you have to ASK if they're offensive....seriously?!? They're SO offensive & insulting, I can't even come up with the words to explain why. Anything that denigrates women is terrible...women deserve respect, regardless of age or married status. Period.
why do we have these terms for women and nothing for dirty old men? just asking.
Fitness Minutes: (3,382)
240 4/6/13 11:30 A
Eww the word "manther" is kind of creepy.
Fitness Minutes: (3,382)
240 4/6/13 11:29 A
I really have no opinion...I guess its really just a compliment to be called a milf so I wouldnt have a problem with it or be offended.
4/6/13 11:20 A
It's "negative" to call someone/oneself a liberal, an intellect or a gamer?
I mean, not like I am any of those things.... mnn nn.
And yes, KJ, the implication of the word "cougar" is "desperate woman on the prowl for guys she has no business with, but could maybe snag with her sharp claws and hunting instincts honed over her snaggly-toothed long life." Which - does this imply it is "bad" for an older woman to date a younger man? I don't know - but it isn't very flattering!!!!!
I re-read a lot of the posts that mentioned that suggested a woman dating a younger guy is seen by society as being "bad", I have yet to hear anyone condemn a woman for dating a younger guy. It must be an unwritten thing amoungst women because I have never heard that.
Fitness Minutes: (9,214)
4/6/13 10:57 A
I think both are derrogatory - why are there no terms for men? Although some men genuinely intend MILF as a compliment it's disrepectful. I also detest Yummy Mummy much for the same reason. It's salacious. Cougar is never used positively. Men date younger women all the time without backlash, it's even a status symbol If we truly had gender equality this label would be gone.
I guess it boils down to our society has an acceptence of using labels to identify a person in a way that they themselves can understand and usually it is derogetory like calling someone a MILF or cougar or liberal or intellect or gamer or band geek or old fat creepy guy or.....you get my drift.
Typically, when I hear cougar, it's not being used in a way that makes it positive. No matter the gender of the speaker.
What gets me about cougar is how it assumes women don't have the right to the same variety of partners a man would.
MILF is just another comment to reduce a person to a sexual object. Me being me, I roll my eyes and proceed to ignore the utterer.
Now, my son got into a fight with one of his buddies once over commenting about "hot mom."
3/28/13 2:38 P
@KJ...Now I just had to go look on google. I think I could use some work. lol
3/28/13 2:28 P
not ok. Men never get this, why should women? Be with who you want.
Fitness Minutes: (16,557)
3/28/13 2:28 P
my late husband was 17 years older and my now husband is 7 years younger. No one ever said anything about the age difference between my late husband and myself. Now my "younger hubby" gets all sorts of comments and we don't look different in ages.
Hahaha! Yeah. So does this mean I should get fake bazongas and wear lots of make-up (I don't wear any-including in my pic to the left) in order to officially qualify? I dunno. I'm quite happy with my 42D right now. Kinda miffed that they shrunk a little, but it's okay.
OMG, you totally should. Only poachers hunt cougars. Can that be twisted to fit metaphorically? I think so. *brushes shoulder off* *brushes yours off too*
Okay, then. I am going back to my paper.
3/27/13 10:05 A
LOL! You've been down this road before, haven't you KJ? Not just cougars, but anyone. I've always fallen for the guy who doesn't show interest in me, and the ones who do, I'm thinking, "oh, I know what they want!"
I asked this question at lunch yesterday and got a lot of similar responses except from the guys who kinda annoyed I brought it as if to say, "Stop giving away our secrets" LOL!
Neither term bothers me, that said I rarely use those terms but acknowledge their meaning when someone I'm to says them.
Now for a "story" (a TRUE story!) My gf & I go out dancing at the local yacht club about once a month or and it's a plce for middle-aged folk like us to go and have fun with people our own age without all the drunk fighting of popular dance clubs. But every now & again the "boys" show up specifically to hunt "cougars". It's so funny to see them hit on women their mother's age only to get turned down a lot. I want to say to those type of young guys, "Remember, the cougar hunts YOU, not you hunting the cougar."
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
3/27/13 6:50 A
MILF - only when my husband says it in my ear!
Cougar -- I have no problem with this as no one has ever called me that!
I would just be happy to have someone ask for my ID! That would thrill me!
I prefer the British term "Yummy Mummy" to MILF. MILF sounds stupid and makes the person saying it sound stupid, in my opinion. But I wouldn't ever actually call a woman either term. Just that when I see the former in print, I find it less obnoxious than MILF.
Cougar... I think I missed the original meaning, I mean how an actual cougar is related to a woman who dates/marries a younger man. I have dated guys considerably older than I was and was never labeled anything for it. It seems over the top to comment on a person's relationship just because of their age, assuming everyone involved is an adult. But I don't think this term is extremely offensive, just kind of silly that it exists at all. I wouldn't feel comfortable referring to a man as a "boy toy" so why would I call a woman a "cougar"?
Maybe we can incorporate DILF and bobcat into the everyday lexicon in order to have duel gender representation. :)
3/27/13 4:41 A
MILF is degrading, however with "cougar", it really depends on the context in which it is said.
Fitness Minutes: (331,007)
14,422 3/26/13 11:31 P
I really hadn't thought about it.
Fitness Minutes: (48,071)
3/26/13 11:30 P
'Hot mom" would be a good replacement for MILF. Same sentiment; less crude. Cougar kind of has an ever-so-slight tinge of desperation to it, IMO - someone who is trying to recapture her youth - so I don't think I'd be flattered.
Fitness Minutes: (4,106)
3/26/13 9:10 P
I don't really have much of an opinion on "cougar" since it's usually a word that women take joy in calling themselves. MILF, on the other hand, I'm kind of iffy on.
I guess what I really dislike is the fact that there isn't really a term for men who date women who are much younger than them, or for men who are good-looking dads. That sort of says something, I think.
Fitness Minutes: (40)
1,068 3/26/13 9:05 P
I do not like the F word at all, especially the way it is over used in every possible context nowadays, so it stands to reason I would not like the F in MILF or GILF. But I admit that now that I'm a 54 year old grandma, I do like the idea of men being attracted to me. But they better find a nicer way to say that!
The word Cougar does not bother me. I think it is meant in fun for cases where the woman happens to be a few years older. In cases where a woman is a lot older, old enough to be the guy's mother, I sort of think the word Cougar fits. I also think men that go for women young enough to be their daughters are creepy and for me, personally, and old man with a young woman is no more acceptable or positive than an older woman with a much younger man. I know a lot of couples have big age differences and it works for them and they are happy, but it just would not be for me. I want somebody with more in common, based in part on being a similar age.
Fitness Minutes: (11,119)
3/26/13 7:28 P
Well said ETHELMERZ!
Fitness Minutes: (201,440)
3/26/13 7:02 P
Those terms are another bad sign of our Pop Culture society making up more junk and pretending it's worthy of importance to us all. Why don't they mention "dirty old man" a lot? Lots of them been around for a long time, but it just gets a wink and a smile.
Edited by: ETHELMERZ at: 3/26/2013 (19:03)
Fitness Minutes: (160,004)
3/26/13 6:11 P
MILF? No. I've been called a MILF by my son's friends - complimentary and wierd at the same time.
Cougar? Hate it - It implies I'm on the prowl for a younger man and it's not complimentary.
Fitness Minutes: (31,907)
2,331 3/26/13 5:43 P
Cougar / MILF -- I don't think that these are appropriate labels for any ladies! But I am a man and I do admire a lady in her upper years that still has a smoking body. And to see a young man go after a older woman or an older woman who can get a younger man -- MORE POWER TO YOU -- WTG!
"There are worse things to get offended over, than being told your totally doable."
HA this made me smile :)
I agree. But still am not sure how much I'd appreciate the "compliment" - I guess it might depend a lot on who was giving it.
Like - ok. Last time i lost weight, I went from 195-140-ish. And... when I was 195 - I was literally INVISIBLE to certain people (a specific example comes to mind)... and when I was 145, all of a sudden, my Specific Example was all "hellloooooo there -leer-" and I did NOT appreciate it. Whereas other attention, I DID appreciate - the kind that came from people that treated me politely/acknowledged my existence as another human being on the planet, even when I was "too heavy to elicit their romantic interest." It really bothered me to encounter people that literally cannot "see" a women unless they have a physical attraction to her. And I guess I just kinda associate use of the label "MILF" with people like that.
3/26/13 5:00 P
Don't think those phrases will be said about me so, no.
Grosses me out both labels do. I have been hit up on my younger men. I am happily married, but still if not I could not do a man too younger then me. I don't look down on people who do, but for me it is not happening.
3/26/13 3:01 P
Although I would surely like to have the type of body that you'd need to have, to get labelled a MILF, i really don't think i would feel flattered if someone referred to me that way. It wouldn't make me feel "attractive" so much as "objectified."
3/26/13 2:54 P
Interesting topic - I am not a mother yet but I think personally I would feel flattered to be called MILF, it is a bit of a crude way to put it but hey it means they think you're attractive. I'm sure some people are offended by the term. My husband is a couple of years younger than me so I have had people jokingly refer to me as a cougar, and I don't really love hearing that one even though I'm not really what most people think of as a cougar. Cougar kind of makes it sound like you're doing something wrong. Not really offended by that one, I just think it is a more negative label.
3/26/13 2:53 P
Hmm that being said... I remember having to make up some "cougar in area" signs to post at some rural bus stops, someone in the office got hold of them and placed them strategically around the office as a joke.
I would say about half the affected females thought it was "all in good fun" and about half were some degree of offended.
And i would think only an IDIOT would try that same prank with a sign that said MILF. That could get you pulled into the Human Resources office or worse.
3/26/13 2:52 P
the MILF does. Only because of what it stands for. I would hate for my son when he gets older to ask me, "mom what does MILF stand for?"
3/26/13 2:49 P
They are not usually meant in a female-empowering sort of way. The stereotypical "cougar" is sort of a sad caricature. And MILF is... kinda degrading, don't you think? It is NOT a nice way of saying "hey, that Mrs. Robinson has been keeping herself up really well, hasn't she?"
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