Lulu, great blog. I really think practice makes perfect with this subject. The faster we catch ourselves in negative banter and turn it around to the "quick, name 10 things," the better off we will be.
I read that it takes 17 seconds to build momentum on a negative thought (Abraham) and it also takes 17 seconds to build on a positive one. I'd rather build the positive. Your friend really has the right idea.
Ali, thanks also for your response. Very insightive. "rumination rut" (I'll remember that)
Fitness Minutes: (23,506)
843 3/27/14 8:54 A
I wrote about this in a blog a while ago. My best friend's response to this is always the same "Why would you say that? Quick tell me ten things you love about your body!"
Fitness Minutes: (3,053)
95 3/26/14 4:26 P
I completely agree! Talking negatively to yourself all the time eventually really affects the way you behave. "My stupid knee," eventually turns into "stupid, fat, lazy me" if you let it. There's a ton written on negative self-talk, but I find that when I bash myself the hardest I tend to make the worst choices. Quite a few different religions (including mine) believe that by constantly complaining and focusing on what you don't want to happen or don't like, you're bringing more of it into your life. I think that in addition to the metaphysical, there's quite a bit of truth to it. After all, talk to yourself long enough about how you can't do something and you'll probably avoid giving it your all for fear of failure.
I've been working on the positive self-talk as well, however, it can be hard with the way society seems to react to it. There's a fine line between high self esteem and vanity, and being picked on by random people doesn't seem to help either. Overall, I think it's pretty important to change the way you speak to yourself, even if you don't believe it at first, because repeating something long enough CAN help you begin to believe it. Besides, bashing yourself or your capabilities is devoting time and energy to ruining your own life and perpetuating stuff that you don't want in it. It's hard to see that at the bottom of the well so to speak, but it is true. My friend calls it the "rumination rut", and it sucks to get stuck there.
I think we'll all get to the point where we don't do that to ourselves if we put in the conscious effort. I believe you'll get there!
I used to call my knee "Stupid." I'd be walking along and I'd feel a twinge of pain and I'd just say, "Oh, it's just my stupid knee." Then one day, someone told me that my body was anything but stupid and I should be calling it my lucky, wonderful knee. That really got me thinking of all the things I've told myself, like: I can't lose weight I'm too tired I have no metabolism It's too hard I really have to have something sweet at night (still saying that one) I'll never look like I did when I was twenty (I'm 61) The list goes on, but I'm sure you get my drift.
I think that realizing the way I speak to myself keeps me from changing and progressing. At least I'm aware of what I'm doing so I can change my thoughts. There is nothing wrong with telling myself a different story. After all, the old story surely did NOT work. My new story will go something like this:
Each day is getting easier for me Soon I will be able to shop for cute, stylish, new clothes I will love the way I feel as I get more fit Anything is possible While I went a bit over in my calories today, it's not the end of the world and it will help me get on track for tomorrow. I WILL cross that finish line!
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