@LEC358 I agree with this statement: " I'm not sure if I want to have kids if I can't give them the kind of support that I had growing up from my parents, but I don't want to sacrifice either my or his career goals for that purpose either. I realize ideally that raising kids is a partnership effort and I really want to be sure that we're able to equally give to that effort"
I have talked with and heard other stay-at-home moms make the comparison to people who work and say their job as a stay-at-home mom and taking care of the household is more difficult. Tough job but there is no comparison to people who have a career dealing with the stress of maintaining an income.
Edited by: BANKER-CHUCK at: 8/10/2014 (11:46)
8/10/14 7:38 A
My guess is, at the end of this lady's life, her opinions will be quite different.
As it turns out, though, we've all pretty much summed up her blog as crap...no relevance whatsoever to real life. She sucks as a blogger.
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
1/30/14 7:01 A
Well I actually made $ 100,000 and I find the amount a woman makes irrelevant in the discussion as there are a lot of woman who work 60 hrs a week a low paying job...the only difference between that woman and the CEO who has paid tons of other people to do the child raising, general life duties is the $ being made but the hours spent away from one's child is the same. Oh and the fact that the lower paid woman has a second job of raising their kids in all the hours left in the day....not to mention 1 income families run by single woman.
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
1/28/14 11:36 A
I've decided that what really annoys me about this blog post is that she trivializes a process/decision that many women face and reduces it to absurdity when the decision of how to balance your family and a career is anything but trivial. There really needs to be productive, thoughtful discussion on this topic.
I'm also annoyed that she got half my social media contacts riled up with a piece of (at best) mediocre dibble.
1/28/14 11:22 A
There is a blog attached to Amy Glass one. It is called, Being Judgemental Doesn't Make You A Better Person. I liked that one.
I have heard many acquaintances say dreadful things like, she is just a SAHM. Or she has nothing to offer anyone, she never went to college and she is just a SAHM. So sadly some share Amy's opinion. PS. This is why they are only acquaintances, I don't want to be close with anyone so hateful.
It seems to me this woman has lost a few friends to marriage and children and is throwing a bit of a tantrum about it. I have a few single career oriented friends and a couple married without children career oriented friends. I am a SAHM. We are not in competition with each other and frankly, my friend who started her own business has way less free time and vacation time than I do. About half of my friends are professional working parents- doctors, lawyers, scientists, editors, and more- who probably would fit into Ms. Glass's view of accomplished AND they have husbands and children. then there are the rest of us SAHMs who will likely go back to our jobs when the kids are bigger. My friends- single without kids, married without kids, working, work at home, and stay at home moms- HELP and RESPECT each other. None of us feels the need to defend our choices to each other. Our choices change over the years as well. Now that we are moving though our thirties, there are fewer singles and the ranks of married without kids is dropping by the year.
She did get something right- housework will never be as important as, well, doing something important. I would guess that the average surgeon or ER doctor who spends days saving lives sees that as much more important than the laundry. However, I am also sure that same person still values cleanliness enough to either have a spouse who does it or actually PAY someone thousands of dollars a year to do it. I explain to my kids every day that we have to clean our rooms, vacuum, clean the bathrooms, etc. because we need to live in a clean house so we don't get sick, we can find things, and Mama is happy so we can go do the fun and important things. And as for throwing a party for someone who just went on a vacation to Asia- nope. I don't see that. Getting an amazing job, ok, I'll celebrate. A homecoming for a friend who just spent a few years in the Peace Corps and dedicated time, energy, and more to making the world just a little bit better- absolutely, that deserves a celebration. But her example of backpacking around Asia, just no. That is a life enriching experience, not a life altering one and not one deserving of recognition or celebration, other than the obligatory picture viewing.
Fitness Minutes: (0)
306 1/27/14 9:28 P
That's not what I'm saying at all. In fact I never had kids, I owned a very successful business for decades that kept me on the road. I made close to 500K per year for over two decades and low 6 figures for 1 decade. What I am saying is that people should not have such strong opinions on what is right for someone else. I have nothing but respect for good Mothers. It's a lot of work and takes so many skills. The same skills you see out in the work force.
Everything in life is a trade. What one choice gives you hopefully is the right choice for you and would not be the right choice for someone else.
1/27/14 6:36 P
Yes, I can see from a quick google search, this "article" has really made the rounds...
Well, it's so obnoxious that it does seem to spark the instinct-to-react... and people are reacting in droves, before stopping to consider the source. It's hard to determine exactly who or what the source even is - is there such a person as "Amy Glass"? I'm kind of doubtful. It could be anybody, male or female. Could be a person swimming in ignorance and judgemental bigotry - or a deliberate troll. If it's a troll, then, well played - look how much attention it attracted.
@Bunnykicks: see, that's how Amy Glass' blog should viewed, as diatribe and self-centered but I originally saw this blog from a Fox News link on my Facebook friend's page and they took Amy Glass seriously......
1/27/14 6:17 P
Lol her "about" bio states:
Powerhouse. Lover of start-ups, big ideas and the future.
-eyeroll- oh dear. so she's really done nothing great at all.
The rest of her blog posts are exponentially more pathetic than the one linked in the OP. It's hard to get outraged at what she says, because I just can't take any of it seriously. She's just yapping and yammering on from a place that assumes HER view = some universal truth, without having any comprehension of the greater world around her and the varying experiences of the people that populate it.
How quaint. She thinks that you can cheat-proof a marriage by "staying attractive." HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA oh dear. How can you not just laugh at one so naive as this.
I was a stay at home mom of 3 by choice. We did with less than our friends because of no additional income, but it was fulfilling for me. Yes, it is a lot of work Staying home taking care of a home and family and Not getting paid for it-Heck I could have been a nanny/housekeeper and did the same thing for someone else for a income! Now my kids are adults and no regrets staying home. Its about choice-what works for your family and you.
Edited by: SIMPLYME80 at: 1/27/2014 (18:15)
1/27/14 4:06 P
I wonder what claim to fame Amy Glass has. Is she living up to her own standards?
GOALWTIN7 "being a stay at home mom is so much more important than a career." that is your opinion and that is right for You.
Some women find themselves with empty nests, wishing they had pursued a career. Same difference
Fitness Minutes: (0)
306 1/27/14 3:42 P
I only know Amy Glass from this one article I just read but I can tell you I don't respect her. She is a very closed minded woman. She is saying, the way I think and the beliefs I have are the correct way to think and be. She is young and in 10 to 15 years she may get married, have a kid and blog, being a stay at home mom is so much more important than a career. We all change and what's right for you now is just that, right for you now is this time and space. Let others have their right for you now life and support each other and see the positives in whatever you choose.
The premise that the blogger goes off of is that people or some people or heck, maybe even one person has stated to her or she has seen it written that a comparison was made between a career woman and a stay at home mom. Regardless of one's perception of what success is she clearly snubbed her nose at women who choose to be a stay at home mom, that's not cool in my opinion but hey, I am SURE she got exactly what she wanted; to get people talking about HER blog.
Balancing family life with the obligations of a competitive career is tough. People try their best, which is all anyone can hope for.
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
1/27/14 1:23 P
I want both, darn it! I want to have a fulfilling, successful career as a design engineer (with a possible transition into policy work as a semi-retirement) while my BF takes on the world as a much sought-after litigator. I want to do it in such a way that should we choose to have kids, we are both fully involved in the raising and nurturing of those children while pursuing our chosen career goals.
ONLYZOMBIECAT...It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks...It's what the person making that decision feels is important, that matters. And both paths can fail. Unhappy dysfunctional marriages or Joblessness.
"You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids." This statement from the blog really stood out to me.
I see this whole article as more than just about looking down on women who get married, have kids and care for them vs. choosing a career. This person is also looking down on anyone who works a less than exceptional job.
Is being a CEO or doctor or someone backpacking across Asia the only way to be exceptional in life? That isn't everyone's dream life though or even realistic. Some people actually like doing other things with their lives even if they are not unusual, highly paid or acknowledged. Some people do not have the resources or support to pursue anything but an average life and still find real happiness. The author clearly does not feel that marriage, family, running a household, etc should be viewed as important or fulfilling things to anyone because they are average. I think backpacking across Asia sounds pretty miserable but if it is someone else's idea of a good time then I am happy to cheer them on.
The author does not take into account that very few people achieve great things alone. If all those people who do mundane tasks were taken away, those CEO's, doctors, engineers, etc will (1) starve to death because there is no one to make or grow their food , (2) stink because they don't have time to clean, do laundry or take their trash to the dump, (3) have no one to construct their buildings, (4) no one to care for any babies who might grow up to be future "exceptional" people... assuming they take the time to produce any children and so on. I don't feel like everyone needs a parade but you just aren't more important than the person who cleans your house, the person who delivers your mail, the security guard or the parent who raises a great kid. Average is important to the functioning of our world. Average is not unimportant.
As someone who chose to be a wife and stay at home parent, I do know that my role is not as valued by society on the surface. I did not make this choice to impress anyone or get a big payout. I support other people with my efforts. My choice makes me happy and I feel it is pretty important actually.
live the life that is true to themselves and make the best out of those choices
Fitness Minutes: (0)
306 1/27/14 10:58 A
Why as a society do we always have to compare and judge. I think a woman, like a man should live the life that is true to themselves. I see a lot of women get married and have kids because that is what's expected of them. You can be a good stay at home parent and put a lot of thought and effort into it or you can be a mediocre stay at home parent. I do think being a good parent (and I have a very strong opinion what that is) is just as important as being a good doctor.
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
1/27/14 10:37 A
I have so many feelings about this thread and the blog post that started it.
On one hand, my mom rose through the civil service while I was school aged but the fact that my dad found that his perfect job was starting a business out of our basement (and he could be home with me when necessary) was probably a major contributing factor.
On the other hand, I do have dreams of owning my own engineering firm or being in some kind of policy position one day. And my (hopefully) future life partner is on track to be a lawyer at a relatively high powered law firm. I'm not sure if I want to have kids if I can't give them the kind of support that I had growing up from my parents, but I don't want to sacrifice either my or his career goals for that purpose either. I realize ideally that raising kids is a partnership effort and I really want to be sure that we're able to equally give to that effort.
On the third hand, I'm only in my mid-20s now w/o major health issues that would complicate having kids so I probably don't have to make any big decisions for another 5-6 years and who knows how my perspective will change.
@Bluenose: The blog is talking about career women (CEO types, big business types, people who are out to make BIG MONEY and/or financial successes, etc....) vs stay at home moms. The two are not comparable in my opinion. What you did is commendable. My was a single parent and had to work so we could eat and have a place to live, very hard life she lead but it's not what the blog is talking about.
@Sheryl: Your second paragraph is "spot-on", I think most people will miss this point that the two are NOT comparable. I think Amy Glass had a good topic to blog about but screwed up her presentation of it and made it totally biased.
I am close to only 1 stay at home mom of my generation or younger; she tries desperately to defend her position by suggesting she is raising her kids better than a working mother. She tries to shelter them more vs my working friends who are forced to make their kids more independent...but both feel guilty about the choices they made. Every choice has a price. In the final analysis, the woman who can give her family the most support and stability, is the person who is the more successful at holding her family and herself together.
But the blog seems to compare a single career woman with a stay at home mom...and that's like comparing apples to oranges. To me it sounds like someone trying say that being an independent unmarried woman is superior to the stay at home mom. Again, every choice has a price.
Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 1/27/2014 (08:05)
Fitness Minutes: (82,255)
1/27/14 6:59 A
Well my friend you have opened up a can of worms now! This debate of stay at home vs working outside the home is controversial. I worked as a Construction Engineer for many years before having a child at 39. Due to careful money management over the previous years, I was lucky enough to retire at the age of 45 . My DH and I consider ourselves very lucky that we have had the best of both worlds but after miss carrying 3 times in 3 years when we finally had our son 11 yrs ago, we agreed that I would retire at 45 . Very few Moms I know have followed my footsteps but we have been truly blessed and it is true......you can live with less when you have 1 income as you quickly learn the difference between need and want.
If you read the blog (it's pretty short) you may immediately get the sense that this woman is crass at best and probably won't win over many readers with her point which is based off of the assumption that some people directly compare stay at home moms with career women in the work field.
First, the assumption: I don't know anyone who has tried to compare the two things, a stay at home is a choice made by people knowing full well that they have a tough job ahead of them even though it doesn't take a degree or any kind of higher education to be a stay at home mom and a career woman also has made a choice knowing the opposite of the above. *note-the blog doesn't mention or refer to women who raise children and have a job at the same time, the blog is talking about achievements in the work place vs choosing to be a stay at home mom but that some people put the exact same emphasis on both.
Next, the actual issue: I see a ton of advantages for children who have stay at home moms and moms who have deep personal satisfaction from being one so no argument there from me. I also see the huge personal advantage for women who choose to be career oriented, yes, some of those women either will have children before or after their pursuit but few can do both. Again, I feel the need to remind the reader of this, we're not talking about having a "job", we're talking about capital innovators, CEOs, business women, women who are after higher financial achievements.
In the end I see a great reward for those who chose either path.
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