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AZULVIOLETA6 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (74,443)
Posts: 3,293
11/22/13 4:22 P

Sounds like this is the last person you should be choosing to spending Thanksgiving with...

DIANE7786 Posts: 4,620
11/21/13 10:02 P

I've been eating healthy for several years. The fat and sugar in traditional Thanksgiving dinners makes me feel lethargic and my stomach hurts for hours. That makes it easy for me to choose healthy foods. Pack some healthy snacks because sometimes healthy food is sometimes hard to find. Stand your ground and have a great time. .

IVYLASS SparkPoints: (210,771)
Fitness Minutes: (76,648)
Posts: 7,162
11/21/13 3:32 P

It sounds to me as if you may need to reevaluate your friendship with this woman.

TRIATHLETEGIRL SparkPoints: (55,048)
Fitness Minutes: (59,673)
Posts: 352
11/21/13 12:14 P

Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses. I feel way better now. And more prepared. Thanks!

SAILOR64 SparkPoints: (19,999)
Fitness Minutes: (6,854)
Posts: 519
11/21/13 8:38 A

Dear Tri,

You are an adult. You need to stand your ground and set boundaries, but in a nice way. I know this is a hard thing to do, especially with family and close friends, but it is possible.

If you like you can try this strategy. When your friends makes an unsolicited comment, lean in close and in a low voice with a smile on your face say "I appreciate your input, but this is my plate." Or."Thanks for your help, but this isn't the time or the place to talk about this." Then keep on doing what you're doing.

Maintain your portion control, eat the foods you want to eat the way you want to eat them and carry on with your day. You don't have to make up elaborate excuses, in fact you don't have to make excuses at all. Be polite but firm. Eventually your friend will figure out where the boundaries are in your relationship.

Good luck on your journey and enjoy your trip. Oh, oh, oh, and Happy Birthday!

NIRERIN Posts: 14,135
11/20/13 9:25 P

i would call "my birthday weekend" whenever i could. and if you know she's going to harp on certain things, come up with some quick and easy responses. so if you know she's going to go for the potato and cauliflower swap, have something prepared like "i know it's silly, but i actually tried it and it has so much more texture than mashed potatoes" or whatever reason besides calories that you keep having the cauliflower instead of the potatoes. i like it better is hard to argue against.

RUSSELL_40 Posts: 16,826
11/20/13 6:30 P

Wow. This is a major problem. Hopefully you can find the cauliflower. Does she have any say in what is served, or can she eat mashed potatoes with gravy, while you eat steamed cauliflower?

If you can eat healthy, then you might just have to say " Sorry, this is what I eat. You enjoy your own food, and I'll enjoy mine, and let's not ruin Thanksgiving, by counting calories. "

Sometimes you have to worry about yourself before others. I live with my brother, and he loved going out to restaurants. Problem is, they serve 3 X the calories needed. I could have tried taking 2/3rds home, and trying to help him enjoy his restaurant meals, while I had a tiny serving of food I didn't like, but eventually I just told him to go to the restaurant himself. I wasn't going. He doesn't either now. It was just a social thing for him. We used it to talk about our day.

Now, we both eat at home, and are both healthier. I would stand your ground, don't worry about your friend. If they are really your friend, they will accept whatever you do, and may even ask you for tips. A lot of times, people want a cheat buddy. Once you break that, your friend will either spend less time with you, or change the way she eats when eating with you.

You both have to decide which is more important.. food, or friendship. Just coming at it from different directions. New friends are easier to find, than health on a bad diet. Hopefully , it doesn't come to that, but if it does, do what is best for you.. eat healthy.

TRIATHLETEGIRL SparkPoints: (55,048)
Fitness Minutes: (59,673)
Posts: 352
11/20/13 5:20 P

Hi Everyone,
My birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year and I'm going for a 4-day weekend at Lake Tahoe. My friend is going with me. My friend is a bit chubby and is a know-it-all about weight loss, and she was jealous and threatened when I lost 30 pounds this year. I lost the weight by going to a weight loss clinic but I kept it a secret from her because I knew she would react negatively to my method. I have taken many nutrition and behavioral classes through the clinic to learn how to keep my weight under control. I've maintained for a few months now, but I know I might get defensive if she is calculating my calories and making an issue if I have mashed cauliflower instead of mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving. She plans to have Thanksgiving dinner 2 days in a row and splurge all weekend. I want to have separate food and avoid an all-out binge. Do any of you have any good tips on what to say or do if/when she starts in on my food?

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