Hmm... I feel like there's some underlying connotations at play here.
Tactful= Schmoozer Blunt= B***h.
I don't actually think there's TOO much of a difference between being honestly tactful and gently blunt.
My personal opinions aside, there's cultural norms and expectations that are at play here as well.
Culturally, Americans value bluntness more than other countries do. It's not necessarily that we value honesty more, but that we value people being straight and to the point. Americans also value being "tough" (one who can take bluntness) over being "sensitive" (one who will respond better to a gentle tactful response)
Because of these cultural values, many Americans have difficulty picking up on tactful interactions, and may not take them as seriously... Because culturally, they are right, people who have a strong point to make are expected to make it bluntly.
Bluntness is effective not because it is inherently more effective, but because in our culture, we are expected to be blunt.
I can dish out bluntness, but I can't always take it. It depends on whether or not I'm bleeding from my vag.
Fitness Minutes: (2,227)
1,427 12/7/12 9:03 A
Same. I try to be tactul, but sometimes, when dealing with my closest loved ones, I'm blunt!
Fitness Minutes: (17,363)
2,116 12/7/12 8:59 A
I'm with the previous person. Mostly tact but there are situations and specific people with which you have to be blunt or the point is lost. My mother-in-law is a great example. You could hit her between the eyes with tact and she'll just smile and toddle along on her merry way.
I've been accused of being tactless because I'm often blunt, or "to the point" - here's the information, now go away.
I've been working on being more discerning
Fitness Minutes: (44,230)
2,247 12/7/12 7:21 A
I am usually blunt but can be tactful if needed.
Fitness Minutes: (68,735)
2,832 12/7/12 7:06 A
I go by the rule 25% tact; 75% blunt generally. Yet that has backfired on me.....can't win for losing huh...I always preface it by saying " Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to give you the warm fuzzy with some truth mixed in?"
There are self-help books about learning people skills, my first one Dale Carnegie's "How To Win Friends & Influence People". The title of the book is atrocious and especially if one is of the mindset that anything not brutally honest must be fake. But it's a great book and there's something for everyone in it even if you're not a believer in people skills.
You could consider that your words are either assertive vs aggressive . Assertive is speaking up for yourself honestly but considering the other persons feelings. Aggressive is speaking up but not caring how it makes the other person feel. As to where to learn this try searching key words on google .
I like being somewhere in the grey zone, telling the truth but gently. Usually. If I am talking with someone that isn't responding to tact, I get more blunt. Unfortunately when I'm angry with that person, I may be a lot more blunt that what's needed....working on that one.
A mix of both is good, there is a way to be tactful while you are being blunt. Don't be a bully or a coward.....
Fitness Minutes: (120)
2,171 12/6/12 2:34 P
I'd say about 75% blunt, with 25% tact :) I tent to be pretty blunt so that's something I've been working on. Like you said, it's one thing if someone is just being honest, but another if they're being honest but also being mean. Those are the types that say "sorry if you can't take honesty", where as someone who is a bit more tactful might say "I'm sorry if what I said offended you".
Fitness Minutes: (719)
31 12/6/12 2:26 P
You nailed it. For years I had the hardest time distinguishing being 'tactful' with being dishonest.
@Jofga_Ak: I think it's much harder for folks to be BLUNT rather than tactful (at least in my opinion). I think some folks are just too sensitive to handle blunt speak and often times may see it as an attack or with malice rather than what it actually is; a person's opinion void of bias.
What I have witnessed at times are folks who ARE blunt sometimes see tact speak as being phoney or untruthful.
I think I use tact more, as people don't really like blunt. Of course I do live in Minnesota and we are "Minnesota Nice"!
Fitness Minutes: (719)
31 12/6/12 1:52 P
What I'd like to know is where one trains or learns how to be tactful vs. blunt. I am painfully blunt because (except in obvious situations where I know what I say will hurt) it just never occurs to me that what I am going to say might cause discomfort.
Tact: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense
Blunt: Abrupt and often disconcertingly frank in speech. Brutally honest. ---------------------------------------- -------------------------
For me, I don't mind people telling me either way so long as blunt comments are void of malice. That said, I like to use tact wen I'm the one speaking. I quickly find out if I'm talking to someone who prefers to be told things bluntly and then in that case I still use tact but with less "filter".
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