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CORTNEY-LEE SparkPoints: (67,852)
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Posts: 3,526
4/16/13 3:52 A

I think a great place to start to get back on track would be to go back through nutritional counseling again. Make an appointment with the RD today.

I also agree that going to support groups can be a HUGE help. Most Bariatric porgrams offer a support group. Mine meets the first Wednesday of every month.

Also, I think the best thing you can do is just be there for him. You can't force him to do anything, so just being there to support him and help him through tough times is about all you can do.

WONDERWORLDS SparkPoints: (1,536)
Fitness Minutes: (265)
Posts: 22
4/15/13 10:11 P

Thank you so much everyone! I think all of you are right, it is psychological. He knows it too. I can encourage him as much as possible and help by controlling the foods he eats, but I cannot control what he does away from home, or overall for that matter. It also scares me because I am starting to think about heart attacks and stuff like that. I am going to talk to him tonight about joining Sparkpeople. He is a competitive person, so perhaps I can make this a "fun" competition between the two of us :)

SUNFLOWERS2602 SparkPoints: (325)
Fitness Minutes: (185)
Posts: 12
4/11/13 3:00 P

I'm so sorry to hear about the struggle and pressure of the situation you are going through. You already sound like you have enough of your plate without your husband being unhealthy with his eating.

As the others said, it does sound like he wasn't really serious about the surgery. Or maybe he was serious but he didn't understand the weight of the procedure he was having. I am looking into that procedure and see what a beautiful thing it can be for those like me who just can't get the weight off and keep it off. On the other hand, I have seen how AWFUL it can be for those who regret it and still try to do whatever they want.

My best friend recently had this surgery and has lost 55lbs. She looks like a whole new person and is doing well. She still has her days where she dumps (she's only 2 months out) and is still getting used to certain foods etc. she sometimes eats things she shouldn't but then she regrets it.

I can't imagine why he would want to throw up all the time. I hate throwing up and know I could be scared crapless of eating things that might make me dump. Sounds like you have a case of mental issue. He needs to see someone about the mental and emotional process of this all. Like they said in my seminar " it takes 1 hour to change your life but it takes 5 years to change your mind"

I would do your best to encourage him towards someone he can work through this with because it's not your burden to bear. you are his wife but you can't change him, he will only change if he wants to. Tell him to join "thinner time forum" it's a website like spark people but completely for those who have had or are planning to have bariactric surgery! They share their stories, good and bad, and all the in between. It's really encouraging and eye opening and he might even meet a guy friend on there that he can connect with and relate to, to help him straighten up!


DIANITAH SparkPoints: (72,043)
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Posts: 3,083
4/11/13 1:40 P

I had gastric bypass and kept 100 pounds off for almost four years now (still working on more). It sounds like your husband wasn't serious about the surgery. I had to go through multiple psych visits before and then I attended meetings for about two years afterwards (and still can).

Does he have the option to go to meetings? He can make himself very, very ill by eating/drinking what he is. I would be sick to the point of vomiting and other things if I tried that. Soda is the worst because it takes so much room in your pouch. Doesn't he dump? Sugar makes me get so sick.

I would ask him when he is NOT doing anything bad for his health, why he got the procedure. Is it worth further damage to his body to keep going this way. Too bad you can't go to the doctor with him!

I'm so shocked that someone would waste an opportunity others can't afford.

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (245,679)
Fitness Minutes: (122,969)
Posts: 14,860
4/11/13 12:29 P

you can support your DH, but you cannot make him do what he needs to do. And nagging will not help anything.

continue to cook healthy foods. Don't buy the things that tempt him. Follow all the 'smart eating' techniques (smaller plates, eating meals at the table, etc.)

if he just doesn't like water, try some other non-carbonated drinks (flavored iced tea, lemonade, water with lemon/lime/orange slices or cucumber slices, etc)

honestly, maybe suggest he get some help with the psychology too. Doing something repeatedly that makes you vomit - wow. I hate to puke! So that seems REALLY extreme to me. I know it's not an uncommon issue following this type of procedure.

4/11/13 11:58 A

One possible start would be going back to the doctor who did the Gastric Banding for a follow up visit to get a health check and perhaps get hooked up with some weight loss resources. I have found entering in all the nutrition in the Nutrition tracker here on Sparkpeople is incredibly helpful. Ultimately, he really has to take responsibility for his own health and motivation for losing weight.... I really wish both of you the best of luck!

WONDERWORLDS SparkPoints: (1,536)
Fitness Minutes: (265)
Posts: 22
4/11/13 11:43 A

I'm new to the forums, so if this is the wrong place, I'm sorry. My husband had Gastric Banding a few years ago, and it has been a bumpy road for him. He can drop the weight quickly when he runs, but fitting that in has been very hard for him because of everything he has to juggle- and he has a lot. He is pursuing a doctorate degree, and I have epilepsy, had surgery recently and can't drive, so he has those additional pressures. I am wondering what I can do to better support him. He has lost the weight a few times, but has gained it all back. I worry for him because he has not lost that desire to eat, which in an informational meeting about surgery (required to attend) they talked about that, therefore, he will still eat even when he's full and ends up throwing it up. He is addicted to sodas, and his doctor has talked to him many times about decreasing that, and especially not to drink while eating. Even though I cook healthy meals, he won't eat what he doesn't like (i.e. the healthy veggies and stuff). He has always been that way, so I've kind of given up. I've got a bunch of weight to lose, too. I don't want to nag him, but I'm wondering now if that's what I need to do. What are some things I can do to be supportive and encouraging?

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