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Stressed and not coping



 
 
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MELLOEVE
Posts: 95
3/12/13 1:17 P

Oh My, you are in a bind! I think if you have read all the replies you have gotten, you can see that you have friends and supporters here on SP. Next time, come here first! Read some articles - read these replies and gain some strength from the care of others who understand what you are going through.

I have a wonderful set of noise-cancelling headphones that I use (sometimes with music, sometimes without) when I need to concentrate at work in my office of thin walls and slamming doors. They really help me to control my own atmosphere.

Stress eating is a tough thing to get past - but you can do it! Plan out what you will do tonight when things are heating up and getting noisy. Maybe you'll journal, maybe you'll call a friend - maybe you'll come to your sparkfriends and just be listened to.

I wish you well! I know how hard this is.
Sherry



LVELVETJ
SparkPoints: (389)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 78
3/12/13 12:19 P

I agree with all the other suggestions being offered to you. However, I just wanted to add a few more. From Nov. 2011 to Nov. 2012, I suffered living under the 2 worst sets of neighbors I have ever lived around since age 5! Both sets LITERALLY determined what time I could fall asleep and what time I had to wake up. Yes, I sleep with earplugs and even have a noise machine. The lack of sleep (and waking me out of my sleep throughout the night) played a big part in the weight gain I am trying to lose now. I went to my landlord's mgmt company many times and the staff understood the level of hostility I was experiencing as they were experiencing it from the tenants, too. I lost count of how many times I considered breaking my lease, but felt forced to stay in it because I couldn't afford the penalties of breaking the lease. So, I recommend that you definitely get with your landlord to have them send out notices and to set up a conference btwn all parties. Do not feel guilty about reporting a neighbor to your landlord because they'd likely do the same if the situation was reversed.

If all else fails after you have done everything recommended to you, it may be best for you in the long run to break the lease. In the end, that's what I wish I had done because no contract or amount of money was worth having a year's worth of sleep destroyed and controlled by someone else on a daily basis. I already have insomnia as it is. So, sleep is a highly precious commodity to me. Yet, these 2 sets of neighbors made it extremely difficult for me to fall asleep when my body was ready to, stay asleep when my body could have and wake up when I needed to because of the noise they created and allowed. Yet, both families likely whenever they wanted to since I tend to be a very silent neighbor (no TV, music, etc.).

Do find other coping skills other than food. Your neighbor's not worth you participating in sabotaging your progress.



STARDUST2K4
Posts: 1,343
3/10/13 9:33 P

I agree with SLIMMERKIWI.
Landlords can help out a lot. Another thing that you might want to do is document every time she does something like that, and every time you interact with her as well as what you said, and what she said in response to you. By doing that, you'll have it documented if it continues throughout your time there. Until then, don't let what she does affect you. I know it's easier said than done, but you have control over what you do.



SLIMMERKIWI
SparkPoints: (121,984)
Fitness Minutes: (32,445)
Posts: 21,066
3/9/13 8:09 P

Speaking with your landlord would be your best option in this case. I wouldn't mind betting that others have complained about her, too. The keeping communal windows open in those sorts of weather conditions can compromise the health of others, so your landlord really needs to take action in some way.

How would it go for you if you had ear plugs or muffs for the evening when most of the other distractions have died down?

Just remember, NO ONE can make you put food in your mouth. The ownership for that action falls solely on you. You need to learn other ways of coping.

I hope that you find a solution to your very understandable problem.
Good luck,
Kris




SP_COACH_NANCY
SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
3/9/13 5:21 P

Hi Dee,

So sorry you are having to live next to such an inconsiderate neighbor. It speaks more of her than it does of you. That said, don't allow her actions to cause you to turn to food. One thing is for certain food is never a solution for us having to deal with the emotions of every day living. Food is fuel for our bodies.

Have you spoken to your landlord about this situation? Do you have any type of rental board that helps to ease tensions? This may be something you may wan to look into.

Coach Nancy



KITTIKES
SparkPoints: (6,185)
Fitness Minutes: (5,235)
Posts: 35
3/9/13 3:31 P

Thank you will go read the article



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (136,238)
Fitness Minutes: (204,960)
Posts: 20,258
3/9/13 3:28 P

KITTIKES,

You can't change other people. You can only change how you react to them. So, you can allow yourself to get stressed out over a situation you can't control or you can try to stay more calm.
I know that's not easy when people are slamming doors, but you have to do your best to turn the other cheek. Some people engage in these types of behaviors because they enjoy the attention. She may be experiencing a lot of stress and she could be an idiot.

As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". Give yourself credit for eating right during the day and don't beat yourself up because you're stress eating.

What to do ? Find others ways to reduce your stress or vent your frustration that don't involve food. sit and have a cup of tea. In fact, why not ask the neighbor downstairs and see if she'd like a cup of tea and a chat. She may be acting out because she too is under unusual stress. Maybe she needs a cup of tea. I don't know why you're neighbor is acting out.

But I do know that you don't have to turn to comfort food to deal with the stress. there really are better ways to cope. sit and have some tea. take a walk with your son during the day. listen to some relaxing music. don't escalate the situation. that doesn't help. Be calm. Being calm will do more for your stress than eating extra cookies or hips.

Do you have a gym membership ? keep going to the gym. Studies have shown that a regular exercise program can help reduce stress as well as depression. Also, do your best to eat more healthfully. Here's something I've learned from my own years of yo yo dieting and it's this,"if you eat crap, you'll feel like crap". If you're under stress, now is the most important time to eat right.

You might find this Spark article on emotional eating helpful.


www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_arti
cles.asp?id=1396






KITTIKES
SparkPoints: (6,185)
Fitness Minutes: (5,235)
Posts: 35
3/9/13 3:14 P

Hey all

I'm new to SP but I am finding a situation at home is causing me to reach for comfort food in the evenings. The issue is this, I live in a small set of flats (apartments) and my upstairs neighbours are geing very annoying. Slamming doors, letting communal doors slam both during the day and the night.. which then disturbs my 5 yr old son. Opening communal windows and leavjng them open all day and night even if its freezing cold snd raining just to be bloody minded and petty. She has said she doesnt care what the rest of us want snd doesn't care abouting being considerate towards us. Its making luving here uncomfortable as she sounds like a snall elephant charging around above me hammering on the floor.

I can keep to eating right all day and tgen once my son is in bed and i'm trying to chill for a bit she starts doing something to ruin it all. There is jo point trying to talk to her becuase she flies of the handle and scrsams like a scoulded teenager..I don't know what to do.. any tips for dealing with her and the stress sge us causing me as its realky getting me down

Dee



 
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