Fitness Minutes: (17,391)
2,116 9/11/13 9:41 A
Your daughter is lashing out because she is unhappy about who she is but you can't let that argument or any argument or any stressor control all the postive things you have accomplished. You have proved that you want to change, that you have it in you to change, and that you can do it so tell yourself that it is unfortunate what happened but that you aren't going to let anyone or anything control how you take care of yourself. Maybe you could talk to your obese 16 year old and say that she could also get to a point where she could buy clothes at any store and you'd be happy to help her get there but that being where she is is a choice and not your fault and that you aren't going to accept responsibility for her behavior and that YOU are important and must take care of yourself first and foremost before you can truly take care of anyone else. YOU are worth it and have to tell yourself that and believe it. You CAN do this!!!
Fitness Minutes: (15,862)
502 9/10/13 1:16 P
It is obvious food is not really the issue but a symptom. PM me and I'll share me experience with you if you're interested.
I certainly can feel your pain because my daughter and I went through many bouts of that sort of thing, especially when her dad was at sea (Navy).
I was the most horrible mother in the world. I loved her brother more than her. She was ... (fill in the blank)
I've been through it all.
My response sometimes was to eat to much, too poorly, or not at all. None of those are valid or useful responses, as they do nothing to anyone else but me.
Fitness Minutes: (21,732)
905 9/6/13 11:36 A
Would it help to hear that it does get better? Stress and how we deal with it changes as your new healthy habits become more and more ingrained. Now that you have recognised what happened here, as a pp has said, hopefully you will be better able to see what's happening next time.h
In my own personal experience, in my past I ALWAYS used food as a coping mechanism and it took a lot of practice, reprogramming and AWARENESS to help me overcome these habits. It will not happen over night, but as you become more and more aware of the effects of your emotions on your eating habits, it will get easier and you'll be able to stop yourselft sooner.
My binges in the past could last months, now, the worst could last a week, but for the most part, I am successful in limiting them to a few hours or maybe a day or two at the most. I'd love to stay that they will stop altogether eventually, but life-long habits take alot of committment to break and maybe someday I will be able to say that they don't happen at all, but for now, the key is to identify what happened and why, see how the food did not make it any better (often it (particularly sugar) worsens the emotions like anxiety - like alcohol does) and learn from each transgression. Forgive yourself, learn from it and move on with renewed committment to conquering these demons.
Don't expect perfection, just progress. It's a process. You are not alone. You can do this.
Wow, CJ. That episode with your daughter must have had some deep repercussions for you, which only now are you aware of. Yes, you have been through a period of "checking out" and it sounds like it was due to pain. This time it took 3 months to see what was happening. If it even starts happening another time, because of this experience you will be aware of what's happening much sooner, maybe even in time to prevent it.
It sounds like you didn't "check out" entirely, because you kept exercising, but that you did go into binge mode for comfort. Welcome back, and thanks for admitting and letting everyone learn from what happened.
Try putting up visual reminders why you want to be healthier. It might help you to make better choices. And I would also say, keep the crud out of the house. Your teenager doesn't need to have access to crud choices. If it is the vending machines at work that call your name, keep the small bills and change in the car, so you can't buy anything from the vending machines. Bring your sensible snacks with you each day, and only enough for that day, so you can't just keep eating a week's worth. Focus on the positives in your life and remind yourself how much better you felt about yourself and your progress when you were on track. Good Luck!
Fitness Minutes: (34,300)
22,410 9/6/13 5:09 A
Don't allow emotion as an excuse to make poor choices. Instead, use that emotion to help you turn your life around and get on top of your poor choices. Allow that emotion to help you WIN this. You will also find that by doing this you are setting a good example for your daughter. As it is at present, you are sending her the wrong message - that when in an emotional turmoil, you deal with it by abusing your body .... because it IS a form of abuse.
Good luck - I KNOW that you can turn this around! Kris
I had a few great months! Ate healthy, exercised healthy, and saw slow but steady results. Then came 3 months ago when my obese 16 year old and I had an argument because she didn't know what to wear to a concert. She yelled at me, saying I didn't understand because I could be clothes at any store and she couldn't. I didn't even realize until last week that this was my turning point back to the wrong direction. Yeah, I still exercise, but not as frequently or as intense. Mostly I'm just making very poor food choices and eating WAY too much! I start each day good, but by 10 a.m. I have no control. Please send me some encouragement and help me get back in control!!!
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