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BD_99_1 Posts: 5
7/10/13 8:55 A

I've tried to overcome evil with good. I have bent over backwards trying to be nice to her all of my life. Nothing is ever good enough for her. I've come to the realization that she is just unhappy with herself & she is going to make sure that everyone around her is just as unhappy & miserable as she is. I'm trying to take my anger out on her through exercise. . . Key word is 'trying'. I was talking to a friend of mine last night & I've decided that I'm done with trying to please her. I need to concentrate on myself & losing this weight. That is my main focus right now. I have set a goal that I plan to reach by the end of this month & I plan to keep it. :) I'm trying to stay motivated & to keep pushing.

AMYRYLE SparkPoints: (44,144)
Fitness Minutes: (34,683)
Posts: 101
6/23/13 9:02 P

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this behavior from your mother. I would suggest that you consider "do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). Try to be extra nice to your mom when she is being critical of you. It is harder for someone to be mean to you when you are being nice to them. This won't magically transform your mom, but it may soften her edges to something bearable.

BD_99_1 Posts: 5
6/23/13 7:17 P

Yeah I know the triggers that my mom causes: She'll show up at my house & talk to me . . . then she starts to accuse me of whatever she can find to accuse or blame me for, takes an attitude when I tell her that she's wrong & she don't know what she's talking about. She finds the smallest things to nitpick over. She has no room to talk & when I tell her that. . . she starts a fight. It never fails. If I refuse to open my door, answer my phone or anything. . . I'm blamed because I'm trying to keep things from her. I'm 32 & she treats me like I'm 5. Tells me & other people that I have no friends, they are only people that are out to use me. I need to eat better . . . she'll go to the store & complain about everything I buy. If I tell my dog to go lay in the other room . . . she tells people that I'm cruel & don't deserve my dog. I've finalized that she's extremely miserable & unhappy in her life & she won't stop until she tries to destroy whatever happiness I have. I have spent many nights in tears. I have turned to underground music to try & get my emotions out when I exercise. I try to use the music to help push me to get to where I want to be. I just don't know what to do anymore.

BD_99_1 Posts: 5
6/23/13 7:05 P

It's hard to quit this person because it's my mom. She doesn't think she is doing anything wrong. A lot of my weight problem starts from my childhood because of her. She tells me & everyone else that it's not her fault that I'm 'fat'. That it's my fault because I refuse to take care of myself. I'm seriously at my wits end with her. I'm at the point of turning loose of many emotions that will start a fight with her. The only positive thing that may come from it would be that she would stop talking to me.

BD_99_1 Posts: 5
6/23/13 7:00 P

It's not possible to talk to this person. Everything is always my fault. There is no exception to that in this persons eyes. I don't like to write. I've been trying to turn to a friend to talk to or my grandma when this person gets to me. My grandma tries really hard to keep me motivated. Thank you for those articles. I plan to read them as soon as I get done on here.

JENSTRESS Posts: 5,403
6/20/13 3:19 P

I think that now you know how this person triggers you, you need to do what you can to resolve the situation. I have two reactions to emotions, not being able to eat at all, or stress/emotional eating. (Or I had those reactions before, they are getting better) And I don't know if the person says/does things that trigger this, or if there is a situation, either way, try to stop the situation. As I have learned what triggers me, it helps me to choose to not eat.

VEG_GIRL04 Posts: 2,617
6/20/13 10:07 A

Come join the Emotional Eaters SP Team. They are a wonderful group of people who understand eating for any emotion - stress included.

You need to talk to this person. If you can't cut them out completely, you do need to regulate your interaction with them and monitor how it makes you feel and how you can change what it makes you feel. No one person has to be in your life. Why not quit them instead of quitting your healthy changes? Ask yourself why you are letting this person do this to you.

SP_COACH_DENISE Posts: 42,200
6/20/13 9:35 A

Is it possible to talk with that person and let them know that they are causing you some stress? Sometimes just talking to a person like that can help.

Can you find something else to do instead of turning to food? Journaling about what is happening/how you are feeling can be a great tool, exercising is a great alternative, but it can even be something like calling a friend or taking a bath - finding something else to do is key.

Here are some articles that I think you may find helpful as well:

Also, you may want to consider joining the Stress Busting Challenge to help you better handle stress in general:

Coach Denise

BD_99_1 Posts: 5
6/19/13 9:51 P

I'm having a severe problem with stress eating. I was doing really well at losing weight. I had dropped 12.8 pounds in 3 weeks. I have since gained 8 pounds of it back. My problem is that there is someone that causes really bad unnecessary stress on me that causes me to want to give up exercising all together & eat all the time. emoticon It isn't someone that I can just up & cut out of my life. I need feedback with some suggestions that I can use to help. I'm to the point of where I just want to give up & walk away from exercising. Can someone please help? emoticon

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