This is a huge problem for all of us. There are diverse equally credentialed academics and researchers who tell us totally different things and do it credibly and believably and back it up with impressive science..
Even with dietitians we have the same split. They seem to join a 'team'. One will tell you low fat all the way, another will explore a low carb lifestyle.
I think you need to try a few things and see what works for you and your husband. I have personally tried just about every diet out there until I found what works for me.
First of all, you should ask his doctor for a referral to a registered dietitian, who can help you put together meal plans that work for both of you.
Having been in a similar position (he needs to maintain or gain, and I need to lose), a few of our tricks have been things like:
We both have oatmeal - he has a double serving, adds 1 or 2 oz of nuts (I add 1/2 oz to my single serving), and he adds some hemp hearts or flax seed as well.
We both have an omelet with onions, mushrooms, spinach, and celery --- his has 3 eggs, while mine has 1, and he adds hollandaise sauce and 1 oz of cheese to his.
We both have a salad at lunch - he adds 6 oz of meat, while I add 3; he adds 1 oz of cheese, and he uses a double serving of full-fat cottage cheese for a dressing while I use a 1/2 serving.
I make up a big veggie stir-fry for dinner, have 4 oz of meat on the side, while he has 8 oz. We both take a single serving (it's very filling!), but he has a serving of brown rice with his while I don't.
During the day, we'll both snack on yogurt and fruit and nuts, but he'll have more and bigger servings than I do.
We track a lot of the vitamins and minerals, and concentrate on adding foods that will meet our requirements for those (iron, calcium, folate, B12, potassium, etc.). We always make sure that he gets larger servings, and he tends to snack more often.
It can be done, and you can have a very enjoyable (and sustainable!) menu for both of you.
Fitness Minutes: (7,415)
1,299 9/17/13 11:36 A
AFWIFEKJ2511: Here's the problem, and you have already addressed it. Even the so-called experts in diet, nutrition, and fitness can disagree. Even in SparkPeople there have been disagreements about diets and the best way to lose weight. I have spent around the last 5 years reading a lot about diet and exercising and health in general. I spent/spend a lot of time Net-researching. I make my decisions based on the sites and articles I feel are unbiased. Examples are: WebMD, Mayo Clinic, World's Healthiest Foods, etc, etc.
My suggestions: (1) You are a member of SparkPeople, so I would trust the SparkPeople professionals who answer questions and make suggestions and offer guidelines. (2) I would suggest doing your own Google research and find sites such as I listed that are not selling something or have preconceived biased agendas. (3) Some people opt for South Beach or Paelo or Adkins, etc. My advice is to find out what the experts on SparkPeople suggest about diet. I am suggesting a well-rounded diet of whole grains, lean meats and fish, nuts, legumes, fruits, vegetables, seeds, and healthy oils are the types of food that will keep a person healthy. (4) Three things are necessary for healthy living: intelligent exercising, healthy eating, and a positive outlook. I feel you two need to do the homework and find out what your calorie intake should be for one to lose and the other to gain.
But I will be truthful -- I have done enough research the last 5 years to know that in the health fields (fitness, diet, nutrition, weight loss, etc) there is disagreement among the health professionals.
Fitness Minutes: (85,382)
9/17/13 11:27 A
Moderation. Moderation. Moderation.
Find a way of eating that you can maintain for life.
Start with aiming to get your 5-10 servings of fruit and veg a day and 8 glasses of water and grow from there.
You're going to find all sorts of conflicting advice on what makes a healthy diet. Only you can decide what is best for you and that takes time. Start by tracking what you eat now and make little tweaks here and there.
When it comes right down to it. Burning more calories than you take in is how you lose weight. The food you choose is more to preventing overeating and about choosing foods that are nutrient rich (high in fiber which is a type of carb, protein, healthy fats and vitamins/minerals) so your body gets what it needs to be healthy. "Healthy foods" tend to be foods that help with satiety and give you the most bang, nutrient and satiety-wise, for your buck (the amount of calories). This helps prevent you from eating more calories than you burn which leads to weight gain.
There are a ton of articles here at Sparkpeople under your "Articles & Videos" tab and "Nutrition" to help educate yourself on proper nutrition and healthy eating. Sparkpeople tends to take a non-bias, middle of the road approach and bases their information on widely accepted research.
9/17/13 11:27 A
I think that you can lose weight and your hubby can gain weight while eating the same foods. Think about good quality nutrient rich foods, vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean meats and dairy. The trick is going to be him eating more than you. Track your foods, see if some make you feel better than others. Everyone is different but you can't go wrong starting with the basics.
I've gotten so overwhelmed with information from..well, everybody. My husband's doctors, therapists, and psychiatrists have all given their input on what his diet (and mine) should be for a healthy weight.. and they're all completely different. Don't eat carbs! Eat carbs! More protein! More Veggies! No coffee! Coffee! You get the idea.
So I'm turning to you all. We have two different needs. He lost a little over 60 lbs while he wa sin the hospital (not including his lost limb), and I gained about 30 from not working out and poor diet, so he needs to gain, and I need to lose. I'm sure if I got him fast food and junk he'd gain weight decently fast, but I'd rather him be healthy.
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