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KRALLEN1 Posts: 257
8/10/12 4:43 P

My husband is very supportive of my wanting to be a better me. However he is 200lbs 6 foot 2 and has a 34 inch waist. He can also eat whatever he wants and won't gain a single pound. I get frustrated because he does support me but I don't think he has been over weight a day in his life and doesn't understand how grueling it can be to lose weight sometimes. What really errks me is when he says oh i lost a few pounds i've gotta gain them back. Must be nice! Don't get me wrong I love him to death I just wish it could be that easy for me.

LILPAT3 SparkPoints: (94,421)
Fitness Minutes: (123,920)
Posts: 5,787
8/10/12 4:04 P

I am one of those people that has a spouse that is jealous of my bike and other activities. There are several things that I have learned from lack of support:
1. The journey needs to be about you! You are only responsible for you and you can only do what needs to be done for you...can't make someone else "do" what they need to.
2. Be open to change and change the way you think. It has to become a life-long habit and a way of life!
3. Learn to love yourself and ever part of the journey.
4. Stay positive...hormones and stress are big determiners of weight loss/gain.
5. Enjoy, take pictures, do what works best for you, reward thy self, breathe, and above all else SMILE!

DICKENSDUDLEY Posts: 24
8/8/12 2:05 P

I think what is making this hard for you is that you are wanting to keep things equal between you while doing this weight loss together. He tells you of something "bad" he ate, so then you feel you must go and do the same thing. I agree with what others have stated here that losing weight HAS TO BE a very individual thing. When he tells you of something bad he ate, instead of doing the same thing yourself, why not say something like "well, that sucks!" Acknowledge HIS screw up, but don't make it yours at the same time. You are not responsible for his eating badly. Lead by example and show him how its done!! Weight loss cant be doing the same exact things, because you'll never go forward. Dont ever feel guilty for him. He should own his own guilt, just as you own your own, but in the area of weight loss and dieting, dont act on mistakes or guilt. Acknowledge what you did "wrong" and learn from it. Go forward and realize that life is gonna happen. Good luck to both of you!

Edited by: DICKENSDUDLEY at: 8/8/2012 (14:07)
NEWYORKCHICK Posts: 229
8/8/12 1:56 P

You need to go on your own journey and let your husband go on his. This has to be something you do for yourself.

YOU are the one in charge of what you put in your mouth. YOU are in charge of how much you exercise.

My husband is more overweight than I am, but he won't admit it or do anything about it. I just ignore it. It's not my problem. I try to cook us healthy meals when I cook dinner for the both of us, but the rest of the time... his exercise and food choices are his, mine are mine.

LINAMARIE64 SparkPoints: (4,612)
Fitness Minutes: (3,880)
Posts: 268
8/8/12 9:12 A

For the first time in a very long time I am doing something for myself and this is it....even if the hubby and kids were not on board my sucess would continue. Its just an awesome feeling knowing tht the people we love are also making positive changes in their life. Some of us are count calories and some aren't however everyone is applauded for there efforts.and as a family we have lost 61 lbs in all...

CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
8/8/12 7:47 A

Glad you have support.
However, you're both individuals, and need to do it for yourself.

My hubby, while supportive, initially was "distant", meaning that, while he fully supported my goals to be healthier; he wasn't about to change his way of doing things. He would cook for me; he would applaud my efforts; but he would eat whatever he wanted to eat, while I ate my selections.

He has changed, and is now making healthier choices (not 100% but that's OK with me). He has begun to go cycling with me, and even notices an improvement in himself. He's even noticing that he's lost weight, and is fitting better in his clothing.

Each person progresses at their own pace. Your hubby may take a little extra time now; it might be you in the future who slows a little - who knows? Just keep up the work toward a healthy lifestyle, without relying on someone else's progress (or lack thereof) to determine yours.

LINAMARIE64 SparkPoints: (4,612)
Fitness Minutes: (3,880)
Posts: 268
8/8/12 7:47 A

I am so blessed when it comes to support.. my husband might have a whole bunch less to loose in weight but yet he is eating healthy, and exercising with me. And on top of him helping me, my daughters have also jumped on board also eating totally healthy and exercising everyday. We eat dinner together around five and by seven we are all four in the living room which is now a place to exercise instead of sitting on the couch watching tv.... emoticon

CHEETARA79 SparkPoints: (77,865)
Fitness Minutes: (59,059)
Posts: 3,509
8/8/12 7:20 A

How about some friendly competition? Get 2 jars and some marbles. Every day, if you stay in calorie range and do your exercise, drop a marble in your jar. Same thing goes for your husband. At the end of the week, whoever has more marbles in their jar has to take the other one out to the movies. Set up a system like that to see who can make the most healthy choices. Don't concentrate on the slip-ups.

Otherwise, how about thinking of yourself as setting a healthy example for him? If he messes up, let that motivate you to stick with your healthy food so you can serve as a great example to him. That might motivate him to make a better choice the next time.

FARMGIRL1968 SparkPoints: (3,236)
Fitness Minutes: (2,409)
Posts: 172
8/8/12 12:32 A

I have no support from my husband. I have decided that i need to do this for me and he can do what ever he wants. I am no longer going to put my life on hold for him!!! So he sits un front of another rerun and grumbles while i get dressed and go to the gym. I think u r lucky if u have a husband who loves and supports u. Mine is a butthead!!!!

JJOHNSON03 SparkPoints: (624)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 2
8/7/12 10:25 P

I have a wonderful husband, and supports me in everything I do. However we both need to lose a significant amount of weight. I love having a partner in this journey but sometimes I feel like it is a hinderance. When he slacks off at the gym...so do I, even though it makes me furious. When he tells me he had something "bad" to eat, I feel the need to eat something just as bad. I feel like I rely way too much on him and what he is doing, putting too much pressure on him. The thing is that I don't know how to keep myself from getting that way. Does anyone else have this issue? Suggestions? Thank you!

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