That's a great point, Yismet! I think I've had those leanings as well, at times.
And I even have to admit that at times when I've fallen off the wagon and am simply living to taste, I've looked at other people who've ordered a salad rather than fried bar food and thought to myself, "Oh aren't you a smug bastard there with your salad... " LOL Defense mechanism much? As if their perfectly innocent taste for salad is some kind of a damning commentary on myself and my lack of conviction in my own weight loss efforts.
It's funny the kind of internal messages we broadcast for ourselves.
I've never really thought about my social eating in those terms. However, I'm not the most social person in general so it wouldn't surprise if I gravitated towards something comforting (like fried mozzarella ravioli!). I think mixed in that is a continued self-consciousness about my weight. I think I'm afraid that if I order the "healthy" option or a "salad" people will realize that I realize that I'm overweight and then it will be awkward. (I know that doesn't sound logical, but it is how it works in my head). Maybe I subconsciously feel that ordering the healthy food is blatantly admitting to every one that I need to lose weight, even though I never think that about other people when I see them order a salad.
the unfortunate answer to your question is to find some other way to deal with him. any other way. 1. do you have a worrystone or a rosary? in other words, some small little object you can play with. make a decision now that when you encounter these situations, you will play with said little thingy. 2. do you knit? is there some little craft you can do at the table like making one of those little fortune tellers out of a napkin or maybe napkin animals? or perhaps origami? having something to do gives you a natural topic of conversation that isn't food and is also socially acceptable.
Sounds like not a lot of people suffering from this particular issue, but thanks for your advice :) I'll just keep working on it.
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I dont know if this would really help you, but i have read of people carrying around a water bottle and sipping on that when they feel anxious.
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Can't say I have ever noticed that I suffer from the same thing exactly but I am a bit of a nerves drinker. I like to have something in my hand or a straw to play with. I order "mocktails" without the alcohol so I don't tack on the calories.
Today I was looking over my progress and my pitfalls and I'm noticing and really prominent pattern of me eating things that I didn't plan on/aren't healthy for me when I am in situations that make me anxious socially.
Each week I go to pub quiz trivia type event hosted by one of my best friends. Lately, one of the quizzers has developed an interest in me, and while I'm not super attracted to him I didn't want to shut him down entirely, so I agreed to go on a dinner date with him on Monday. I enjoyed the hell out of my risotto, and wasn't really hungry at all when he suggested desert, but I was so anxious that I looked over the dessert menu anyway, ordered tiramisu and ate about half of it.
Last night at quiz was then the first night I had seen him since then, and I felt nothing but anxious until I ordered fried mozzarella ravioli, despite the fact there were much healthier options on the menu.
Do any of you have problems like this, and have you found any alternatives to calm your nerves without elevating your calorie intake?
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