My husband is very impressed with those who begin an exercise program and lose lots of weight. Those are the leaders who he might follow. People watch and notice those who made a positive and significant change in their lives more than those whose lifestyle is positive all the time, anyway.
You, more than many others, have the power to change not only your life, but the life of someone around you.
When you're not feeling confident about yourself, it is tough. Every look, every snicker, every glance seems to you as if it's all about you, negatively.
It may not be, but that doesn't stop you from thinking it.
Like others have said - this journey is one you are doing for yourself and your own health. What others think (imagined, real, verbalized or not) really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. It won't change your goals if you don't let it.
Keep going. It's for your health, not others. Perhaps you'll be the example they need some day.
Thanks all for responding. I had a "weak moment" at my event and I was very sensitive at that time. I don't think it will be my last time dealing with but I'll apply your tips to be prepared for next time they come up.
At first, when I was about 330 pounds, I was afraid of running into someone I knew. I haven't been a healthy weight since I was about 11, but I had gained almost 100 pounds post high school. Once I started working on it, I didn't mind because I knew that someday I might see those same people again, and their looks of 'shock' (no one actually ever looked 'shocked' to see me as way overweight) will be from how much weight I've lost...and so far, I've run into a couple people I haven't seen in years, and the look really is priceless.
Are you concerned about things people have said, or what you imagine they will say, or what you imagine they are thinking and have not verbalized? These are all different, but have one common source. Your lack of confidence with your size. And you can, and are doing something about it.
What would happen if you took a few minutes several times a day to compliment yourself on your strengths? Are you kind, helpful, intelligent, studious, do well at your job? Are you reliable, dependable, and honest? Without knowing you, I would suspect that you are many of these and much more. What are some features of your body which you think are lovely? Your eyes (the window to your soul), your face overall? Remember the good in you before you belittle yourself for your normal, and human failings.
What would some of those people say who took time to be inside you and heard your pain from being overweight, and your struggle from within to overcome it? Some may be surprisingly supportive.
Do you know that no matter what size and shape you are there will always be those who criticize you? Having maintained my average and normal weight zone since high school (now age 55) I have had my share of those who thought I should be fatter, skinner, taller, and have said unimaginable rude and thoughtless things to me. Welcome to the real world. People, even nice, caring people, can make inconsiderate comments. A wise counselor, Dr. James Dobson, said, "Those who hurt others usually are not aware of how what they said or did, affected the ones they hurt."
Yesterday I wrote a post which I won't repeat here of how, at standing 5'2" and usually weighing about 115 pounds, I had been told by husband #1 that I was too fat. Husband #2 said I was too skinny. An old boyfriend told me I had to "bulk up." However, my doctor and charts say I am just right size for my build.There were many more which I'll skip here for now. You get the idea. What is more important than all of that is that I am comfortable where I am at.
You indicated that you are not comfortable where you are at. But you are doing something about it. Your critics, real and imagined, don't know that. You have a secret. You are on a path to a healthy lifestyle. You are reaching out for help and gaining information from which to make wise choices.
Pay attention to the good in you. Celebrate victories both big and small. That you turned away ice cream, cookies, and cake one day is enormous to you. If you exercised at all, or did more than last week, it is a huge victory. Share it on this website with supportive people who join you in your struggle. Though we don't meet face-to-face, we are real, caring, people with a common goal, growing to have a healthy lifestyle and be fit. As we do that, our bodies will change so that we can be comfortable in them.
Change takes time. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that you are making a MAJOR lifestyle change. Seek tips from this website to help with your struggle and journey. Know that you are not alone.
Eventually you will get so that you can ignore thoughtless comments of others. Some are just jealous of your successes! You will learn to value your own opinion more highly than theirs. God has given you a lovely gift of life. Today is a new day, a new present, a new chance to take off and be the best you can be.
Don't worry about the enormous path in front to get to your fitness goals. Instead, take it one day at a time, one healthy decision at a time, and bit by bit, you will see results from your consistent effort.
Be encouraged and know that you are loved. Even some of the people who criticize you love you, but they don't always know how to best show it.
I would love to meet you and give you a huge hug. Onward and Upward...pressing on......
Fitness Minutes: (154,219)
20,410 10/15/12 7:54 A
"Among my roadblocks to losing weight was worrying how other people would react to it, particularly those who have been negative in the past in my attempts to lose weight. But now I could care less. My life depends on my weight and living healthy. This path is for ME and for ME alone"
I think you said it best yourself in the above quote from your SparkPage introduction. You are the ONE who can choose how you want to live your life. With every choice you make you can find progress. Releasing the things that do not serve us is a way to open options to progress. Choose mindfully for YOU!
I've been on SP for a year but I wasn't really serious until this past August. Soon after, I had a setback when I became sick for most of September. I was just beginning to get into a groove of tracking and exercise at that time, and now I'm trying to get back into it. One of the things I've struggled with being overweight is attending social get-togethers because I can't seem to handle the look, shock, horror, awkwardness, and/or disgust of some people who have not seen me in a while because I gained a lot of weight. This past weekend, I really had a hard time when I attended an event and have people that I knew for some time just seem uncomfortable talking to you because of the "elephant in the room", my weight (pun kind of intended). My self-esteem has been so low. I recieve very little compliments and it hurts as well. Have anyone had trouble with social settings while trying to lose weight? How did you deal with it?
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