You are so right. I guess I've always compensated for my non-existent personal life by throwing myself into my job and finding meaning in it. But now that I'm stuck somewhere where I can't even consider myself average leave alone making a difference is what's brought up the crisis. I'm in the States now, the trip was great and nothing unexpected happened, and feeling much better.
Thank you for the kind words and you keep up the great work you've been doing.
Fitness Minutes: (1,402)
2/11/12 12:20 P
Thank you for posting this. It's strange how the very stuff you don't want to post usually is the stuff that helps other people the most.
I really related to what you had to say here. At 58, living in Michigan--a state hit hard by the recession and not real big on job opportunities--I've struggled with my weight like never before. Eating for comfort, distraction, self-punishment, whatever--it took it's toll. After losing my job in 2008 and sending out hundreds of resumes and getting NOWHERE, my weight ballooned to 193. I've never been that heavy. Joined WW, lost nearly 30 pounds, kept off about 20, and now I'm back to lose the rest.
I've learned a lot about myself in the intervening years, most especially that I am not my job. Here in the US we so easily define define people that way, but it isn't quite fair, really.
I've built up a body of writing on and off line and made myself get out walking every day. Even though I still don't have a 'career' job, I am not boring or bored, and I refuse to put my life on hold because of 1) weight, or 2) employment status.
Hang in there. Losing weight brings up a LOT of emotional stuff. You are doing way better than you think you are. There will be ups and downs, it's the long haul that matters.
Fitness Minutes: (2,244)
2/10/12 11:44 P
We all struggle with that. dont give up on yourself
Thanks you guys, I feel a little better already. I couldn't stop writing, so I went ahead and blogged too, which also helped. I completely agree about the need to make changes, so from now on I'll be much more active on the message boards. I've been feeling this urge to give something back for all the great ways SparkPeople helped me for a while now, and like you said, I won't be in the dumps forever.
Fitness Minutes: (277,198)
2/10/12 4:09 P
Snowstorms happen in the winter. The weather isn't something you or anyone else can control. Hopefully you'll be able to get out of Dodge and get home. but, if you get stuck, make the best of the less than perfect situation. Go to the bookstore and pick up a book. Exercise your brain cells if you can't exercise your muscle cells. Talk with people around you to pass the time. I'm sure everyone including the staff at the airport is more than a little bent out of shape.
Stay calm. Try to relax. there really is no point to making yourself miserable over a situation you can't control.
As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative". You took off 50 pounds ! You should be pleased with yourself. Did you gain a little weight ? Maybe, but you know you don't want your weight to go any higher. You recognize you need to make a change and that's what counts ! Don't beat on yourself because you regained a little of the weight. You're human ! These things happen to us all !!
As for asking for help on the message boards, everyone is welcome ! We're all here to help and support each other. Never be afraid to ask for help. We may not respond immediately, but someone will with time.
Don't worry, everything will be fine. And like I said, if you do get stuck in an airport somewhere, make the best of a bad situation. Go read a book. go take a walk around the airport. talk to other people. be friendly ! smiles, they're contagious, pass them around.
Fitness Minutes: (5,040)
2/10/12 3:35 P
I once read a quote that said:
"Its not a bad life, just a bad day."
So that is what I will wish to you right now, that you believe that. I have been there many a times, and I can relate to almost everything you say, in fact I am playing the 'lonely' card pretty well right now. But I just keep telling myself that I have felt like this before, but I have also felt happy before, or excited, or energetic, or proud. All are feelings. As quickly as it comes, it will pass.
As for the food, what helps me is drinking lots and lots of water and going to sleep. Early. Go to bed. Wake up with a plan and stick to it. Low on the carbs, since I am already bloated. Maybe it's make a low carb breakfast and go for a long walk with my ipod, then treat myself to my book in the afternoon.
Don't worry what other people think. You're life. It's yours. So make the best of it
I don't hang out at the message boards a lot, so I don't feel very entitled to support right now, but I think I do need some help. I've been with SparkPeople for about six months now and lost the 50 pounds I had put on during the last year of my residency. I usually work out six days a week, at least 60 minutes at a time. I'm also living away from my family and best friends, and my social network at the workplace collapsed recently (which is a long and very unnecessary story). I flew into my hometown yesterday, was greeted by a blizzard, and am now waiting for my plane early tomorrow morning to the States.
Right now my nerves are raw. I don't know if I'll make it to the airport due to snow fall, whether the planes will be on time, or if I'll miss my train in New York if a delay does occur. I'm worried that at the moment I have no bright career prospects, and I'm frustrated with myself because I don't seem able to put any effort into furthering them. I'm worried that I'll be alone for the rest of my life. Oh, and I also found out that my dog is sick. But this is what makes the top of the list - for a week at least I've been going over my maintenance range and I feel I'm putting on weight again (the scale agrees though my clothes didn't notice yet). It doesn't feel like all the times before I started doing this and ended up gaining 30, 40, 50 pounds, but tonight, after having a good breakfast and a good dinner, I ended up pigging out on dessert and M&Ms, and although I don't seem to have gone over the limit, the though that it's all starting again, that I'll gain it all back, that no one really changes crept up, flashed in my mind for a second and scared the lights out of me.
I know my problem, figured it out at last - I eat to create a problem so I don't have to deal with the other problems in my life, the things I cannot control. Growing up, I used food to relax, to deal with stress, and it's so damn hard to take it from where it is in the list of Things I Love and put it into its place (Things That Need To Be Done and Might Be Somewhat Fun).
Anyone have any insights? (and thanks for reading through that monster of a letter)
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