If anyone had asked me if I would post personal things, communicate with people I had never met, and feel so committed to the source of those people that I will go WAY out of my way to access a computer on weekends so I don't break the streaks...I would never have believed them. It was never, ever my way to confide in anyone - I was the go-to person who would never acknowledge a weakness or a problem. I even successfully hid my weight gain (from everyone but myself) because I DO know how to camouflage/dress - and the current styles are perfect for doing that. My husband never noticed - and still doesn't know how much I lost - because I don't want him to know the weight I had reached. However, now I prance around in tight things again - like I always did before.
Six months ago, I found SparkPeople - and it changed my life. Forever. I guess the most important thing is the friends found here that helped me to believe again that God loves even me. And that, yes, somehow, I do have a right to turn to Him. And, of course, the friends I found that I can turn to - people who I actually believe CARE about me - that is all so new to me. They are not my family - but it feels like they are. Yes, I lost weight - that took work and the need for the work will never end. It took the HUGE risk of going all the way into debt to eat healthy - I never did that before because of the money. My horrendous financial challenges are actually way worse than ever - I have almost totally maxed out every credit card I have and I am trying to get more cards - praying every day that my company can start paying me before this all explodes and we lose our home, too. I feel good and I look good and, as usual, no one would guess that I can't buy a dollar burger without charging it. But, I still believe it was a good gamble. At least I can look in the mirror again.