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BARBZUMBA SparkPoints: (10,783)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 16,273
5/21/14 12:42 P

Watermelon - It's a good fruit....You Eat, You Drink, You Wash Your Face

-Enrico Caruso-

ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
5/21/14 12:38 P

A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit. ~Author Unknown


RIET69 SparkPoints: (47,087)
Fitness Minutes: (11,285)
Posts: 3,116
5/13/14 11:31 A

I eat all I can and can the rest. emoticon

ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
5/13/14 10:17 A

"Everyone thinks a girl's dream is to find the perfect man. That's wrong, a girl's dream is to get thin by eating cupcakes."

Haha, isn't it though?

BARBZUMBA SparkPoints: (10,783)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 16,273
5/11/14 5:20 P

Relish today, ketchup tomorrow

BUFFLIECE Posts: 521
5/10/14 11:26 A

Since I can't click "like"...my fav so far is "Eat more veggies, have less wedgies!"

...then theres jewels like:
"Don't trust a skinny chef"

and

"I don't skinny dip, I chunk dunk!"



EXOTEC Posts: 3,327
5/10/14 10:53 A

Some Sparker has a great sig - a quote from Jack LaLanne, I think....
"if it tastes good, spit it out!"

LOL


OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (149,281)
Fitness Minutes: (81,998)
Posts: 10,182
5/10/14 9:56 A

Funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems necessary.
emoticon emoticon

BARBZUMBA SparkPoints: (10,783)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 16,273
5/7/14 3:26 P

What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten?

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
5/7/14 2:34 P

Stop eating.

JANCARD SparkPoints: (92,186)
Fitness Minutes: (80,189)
Posts: 2,053
5/7/14 2:28 P

"I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet." —Erma Bombeck



OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (149,281)
Fitness Minutes: (81,998)
Posts: 10,182
5/7/14 2:06 P

another one from Garfield - Stressed is DESSERTS spelled backwards

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 15,222
5/7/14 1:51 P

Diet is die with a T ~Garfield

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (149,281)
Fitness Minutes: (81,998)
Posts: 10,182
5/7/14 12:43 P

EDITED 'cause what I originally posted has appeared several times in various forms

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.
Jim Davis

Some people are afraid of heights. Not me. I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright

The only man who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew every time he sees me, while all the rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.
George Bernard Shaw

Edited by: OBIESMOM2 at: 5/7/2014 (12:48)
ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (171,044)
Fitness Minutes: (251,550)
Posts: 24,759
5/7/14 12:38 P

“The road to health is paved with good intestines!” - Sherry A. Rogers

BARBZUMBA SparkPoints: (10,783)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 16,273
5/7/14 11:59 A

Ever try the onion scale??...It makes you cry every time you step on it

ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
5/6/14 12:39 P

"Many a person who goes on a diet finds out in short order that they are poor losers."

— Unknown

"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow ye diet."

— William Gilmore Beymer

ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
3/27/14 9:42 A

"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends."

"Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet."

"In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks, whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective torture device called the bathroom scale."

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 15,222
3/8/14 8:29 P

My doctor told me to eat something every two hours. He prescribed Little Debbie

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 3/9/2014 (23:05)
RAYLINSTEPHENS Posts: 36,925
3/8/14 7:31 P

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."

— Orson Welles

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 15,222
3/8/14 6:12 P

According to BMI I am at my perfect weight, but only if I was eight feet tall

I wish I could like some of the other posts. So funny!
emoticon

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
3/8/14 9:57 A

Clean your plate

CLARISSABOND Posts: 580
3/8/14 3:12 A

This is not so silly but: "Eat to live, don't live to eat."

TAMIPCHICAGO Posts: 303
3/6/14 12:04 P

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.


SCHOPPEK Posts: 1,085
3/6/14 8:12 A

A minute on the lips, forever on the hips!

ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
3/5/14 3:55 P

Just saw this one:

"Can my refusal to go to the gym this morning be counted as resistance training?"

ANAMORPHOSIS Posts: 1,617
3/5/14 1:15 P

"The greasy fry, it cannot lie, its truth is written on your thigh."

ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
3/5/14 1:05 P

"The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it."

"An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day." (Lol, definitely!)

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."


(The wedgie one made me giggle.)

CANYON_GAL Posts: 347
2/28/14 4:14 A

Eat more veggies, have less wedgies

ASMRAY1127 Posts: 59
2/25/14 9:11 A

"According to my BMI Chart, I am too short" ☺

FAITHP44 Posts: 6,411
2/25/14 9:03 A

and the old chestnut:

'I'm on a sea food diet ........ see food and eat it.'

FAITHP44 Posts: 6,411
2/25/14 9:02 A

on a birthday card:

'There's a thin person inside me screaming to come out ....... but a cream cake usually shuts her up.'

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (171,044)
Fitness Minutes: (251,550)
Posts: 24,759
2/24/14 2:06 P

I hate diets. They're morally wrong. A stomach is a terrible thing to waste - Garfield (the cat)

More Garfield

"I never met a lasagna I didn't like."

"I shall now attempt to eat a diet lunch consisting of one leaf of lettuce lightly seasoned with one quart of Mayonnaise!"

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 2/24/2014 (14:08)
ALMISSE SparkPoints: (27,008)
Fitness Minutes: (7,130)
Posts: 716
2/24/14 1:03 P

I wish I could "like" some of these posts! emoticon

"I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days." -Totie Fields

GIPPER1961 Posts: 681
2/24/14 12:40 P

studies show or studies seem to indicate. What follows those words often means nothing.

LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,135)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,744
2/24/14 11:51 A

"I'm in shape. Round is a shape."

MI-ELLKAYBEE SparkPoints: (225,586)
Fitness Minutes: (208,577)
Posts: 4,388
2/24/14 11:10 A

A moment on the lips - a month on the hips. ( NOTHING tastes THAT good!)

EXOTEC Posts: 3,327
2/24/14 10:02 A

"I'm not fat, I'm FLUFFY"

"Everything in moderation" pfft


FAITHP44 Posts: 6,411
2/24/14 5:06 A

Salesman to my rotund aunt as she tried to squeeze through a narrow space in the shop: 'Try going sideways, madam.'
Aunty Vi: 'I haven't got a sideways.'

BRANDONPA Posts: 73
2/23/14 5:57 P

Salesman: "Peter, did you loose weight?"

Peter Griffin: "No, it is still there, it is just parted to the side."

ANAMORPHOSIS Posts: 1,617
2/23/14 4:42 P

I keep trying to lose weight...but it keeps finding me!

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

I'm allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat. - Jennifer Greene Duncan

ETHELMERZ SparkPoints: (161,608)
Fitness Minutes: (144,140)
Posts: 10,995
2/23/14 3:56 P

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels", if that were true, there would not be a billion dollar weight loss industry.

REBCCA SparkPoints: (336,422)
Fitness Minutes: (183,155)
Posts: 21,803
2/23/14 1:45 P

"My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people."
Orson Welles

emoticon

FAITHP44 Posts: 6,411
2/23/14 1:19 P

I had to change my shampoo as it was making me put on weight. It said so on the bottle. 'For added volume and body.'

Now I just use washing up liquid as it 'dissolves grease fast'.

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (171,044)
Fitness Minutes: (251,550)
Posts: 24,759
2/19/14 1:00 P

“Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.” - Mark Twain

and speaking of fun Homer Simpson quotes


Editor: You know, Homer, we need someone like you. Someone who doesn't immediately "poo-poo" everything he eats.
Homer: Nah, usually takes me a few hours.

Homer: Hey, I smell cake! Cake that says… [sniffs air] farewell…and… [sniffs again] best wishes!
Nelson: Your old man has an awesome nose.
Bart: Oh, that's nothing. He can hear pudding.



JLEMUS1 Posts: 4,054
2/19/14 12:33 P

I'm not fat just short for my weight!!

SHERYLDS Posts: 15,865
2/19/14 10:07 A

“Flabbergasted, adjective. .....Appalled over how much weight you have gained. "
~Unknown

SKYLARGREY SparkPoints: (9,709)
Fitness Minutes: (2,870)
Posts: 120
2/19/14 9:30 A

I was watching the Simpsons, and this exchange between Marge and Homer made me giggle:

Homer: What's that?
Marge: It's the start of your new diet.
Homer: But I have all those other diets I haven't finished yet!


What other diet/exercise quotes/sayings make you giggle?

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