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DENRNAJ SparkPoints: (88,689)
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10/7/13 5:16 A

used salt instead of sugar ( no labels on containers)- cake was awful!

Edited by: DENRNAJ at: 10/7/2013 (05:16)
Make it happen- just one step at a time!
ALBERTJON SparkPoints: (3,133)
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10/7/13 5:09 A

My nephew had a family get-together for his daughter's 2-year old birthday and for one of his son's graduating from college. My nephew loves to cook complex meals: grilling and microwaving and cooking on the stove-top and using the oven all at once-- several courses. He also completely messes up the kitchen, and his wife has to do all the clean-up. He is a good cook, though.

However, he had corn, mashed potatoes, and beef gravy in separate "corning ware" containers. These were NOT those great corning ware containers from the 70's that could be used in the oven and on the stove top both. Well, he had food in both microwaves, so he put all three of the corning ware containers on the smooth stove top and turned the burners on. Big mistake! All 3 of them cracked and made a heck of a mess. He was angry as all get out. He was yelling at his wife, "I thought you told me these could be used on the stove top!" His wife had never told him any such thing. He was just confused because in the old days my mother and his mother used the original corning ware both on the stove top and in the oven.

{Note: To this day, my wife and I still use what left over corning ware we have kept from what my mother gave us back in the late 70's/early 80's. We gave our largest container with lid to our older daughter. I also, a couple of years ago, managed to drop a round corning ware container which shattered on the kitchen floor. I had dropped corning ware before and not broken it, but this one must have hit just wrong. We still have 4 of the square corning ware containers with lids. They are the greatest cookware I have ever had.}

Edited by: ALBERTJON at: 10/7/2013 (05:10)
"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Emerson

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -- Thoreau
SUSANK16 Posts: 495
10/7/13 3:26 A

These are some really great stories. The two that I have is the day that my mother decided that pickle juice should be of some use and added it to her meatloaf. Dinner was perfect, if you like McDonalds. My story is the first year I was married I made a pot roast in the slow cooker and put it on low rather than high. My husband took one bite and chewed for about 15 minutes. You could have bounce that pot roast off the wall -- once again dinner was perfect if you like McDonalds.

On a totally different note however, I am trying to learn to cook healthy and have had so many positive successes with the Sparkrecipe site. I print the recipe and if the family likes it I tape it into my recipe book - More are taped then end up in the trash! Try the site it is great.

GENRE009 SparkPoints: (27,802)
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10/7/13 12:48 A

Still trying to learn to cook. I thought I would try to make an Indian dish of stuffed zucchinis. The guy I was dating, would almost always try to please me by going along with things I did.
He came over exactly when my kitchen stove -oven caught on fire. The whole kitchen was so smoky, you could hardly see. We realizing that a coil burned out, and that was why the smoke started. There was nothing wrong with the meal. So, we still sat down and ate it. Although it was a big waste of time, cause it tasted so bad.

Edited by: GENRE009 at: 10/7/2013 (00:57)
GENRE009 SparkPoints: (27,802)
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10/7/13 12:43 A

When I was married many moons ago, my husband invited someone over for dinner. I never told him I couldn't cook. And I think he just assumed all women knew how. I was making my first pot roast. I followed the directions but I burnt one end, and the other end was almost raw. If no one was around I would have cut half of it off, and tried again. But I had to man up this time. I wasn't good at public humiliation or failure. So, I walked out , cool and collected as if nothing was wrong. Then I asked, "how do you like your roast?' His buddy said, "medium rare", and my husband said, "well done." So I just basically went back into the kitchen, and cut it in half. I was really lucky that time!!!!!

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (162,619)
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10/6/13 9:20 P

Many years ago I was making doughnuts for sale in a shop. I had run out of paper bags to chuck the hot doughnuts in to toss them in cinnamon and sugar, so grabbed a different type of bag. It was great. Out of the deep fryer came the doughnuts and straight into the bag and closed tight and shaken. Next thing they were all over the kitchen - covered in blue plastic ....... shrink wrapped - LOL! emoticon emoticon I haven't made any since

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LADYCJM SparkPoints: (45,383)
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10/6/13 9:15 P

LOL, these are great stories! Thanks for sharing.

There was the time my sister was trying to cook a turkey for Thanksgiving. She called and told me. Wasn't it great, the turkey came stuffed!

LOL, think about it ....yep, left the giblets in.

HICIM705 Posts: 4,868
10/6/13 8:55 P

Made cinnamon toast for my DD one morning ... the cinnamon and cayenne pepper were in similar jars - can you guess what happened? Yeah, I sprinkled the cayenne on the 'cinnamon toast'.

Needless to say, I put them in separate parts of the spice cabinet now ... and make some change to the bottle so that I know they are different products.

~~Heidi~~
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KELLYFIT123 Posts: 839
10/6/13 6:24 P

I was on a fixed income when in school and usually ate everything I made, even if it wasn't stellar. One time I made a recipe from an Indian food cookbook. I overspiced the recipe (confused chili powder and cayenne!) and of course it was completely inedible. It didn't mean I didn't try to eat it, however...

emoticon

ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (155,191)
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10/6/13 4:08 P

Ask me if it's possible to over cook pasta and I will say YES !

One day, I was cooking pasta when the phone rang and I started talking with a friend. Well, the pasta hadn't finished cooking yet. But, I figured it would be fine. Well, I talked with my friend and talked. When I got off the phone, I had a soft mushy mess of pasta noodles. These days, when I'm cooking pasta and the phone rings, it keeps ringing.

Let's see, I also had a marshmallow accident while making rise krispy treats. Who knew that you shouldn't melt marshmallows in your mom's good pan. oops... today, I know how to get burnt marshmallow out of a pan, didn't when I was a kid. BUT, I did make really good rice krispy treats. The problem was the stuff that stuck to the bottom of the pan.





ELLELARS08 Posts: 404
10/6/13 3:53 P

Trying to bake a cake on on a grill.

ZELLAZM Posts: 10,249
10/6/13 3:41 P

I was once interrupted by a phone call while mixing the batter for a 9x9 chocolate cake. I apparently forgot that I had already added salt and baking soda and ended up putting them in again after the call. The result was more like a giant chocolate cracker than a cake!

Blessings, Michelle

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IRVING666 SparkPoints: (14,194)
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10/6/13 3:41 P

This is not something I did, but it will remain a family legend for years. Several years ago, one of the niece's new young husbands said he heard of a great recipe for turkey.We usually cook several turkeys because everyone and then some show up at my mother's for Thanksgiving. My sister said that the recipe involved rubbing the turkey with soft butter and seasonings and then putting it in the roasting pan on a rack. Then a bottle of brandy was added to the bottom of the roasting pan. Then you covered the whole thing with foil and put it in the oven for however long the recommended cooking time was, depending on the size of the beast. I told my sister that the idea sounded goofy, if not dangerous, All I could think of was Cherries Jubilee and Bananas Foster and other things that are sauced with some type of liquor and then set alight. I had visions of the entire turkey flaming up and I said so. On Thanksgiving as we were driving up to my Mom's, we saw Henry, the 'chef' driving the other way. Since it was nearly time for dinner, I wondered where he was going. When we got inside, everyone was in a tizzy. All I could make out in the din was. "the turkey blew up and Henry's beard and eyebrows got singed and his clothes are a mess. He had to go home and change". After thinking to myself, "I knew it", and after determining that Henry was not really hurt, I joined the huddle in the kitchen where everyone was trying to figure out what to do. Henry's Mom decided to try again but more cautiously. She stood back, wedged a broom handle into the handle on the door to the oven and pulled on the door to lower and open it. With a huge whoosh flame burst from the oven, she screamed and let go and the door slammed shut. Finally, David, my youngest brother had had enough of the hysterics. He told us to turn off the oven and wait for about 30 min. until we tried again to open the door. That worked! The turkey, which turned out to be delicious, was rescued and the day proceeded without further ado.

This might be a 'don't try this at home story', but it turns out, that Henry made two errors. First, the person who gave him the recipe didn't mention the part about turning off the oven after the proper cooking time and letting the bird 'rest' for half an hour which is exactly what David had done. The second thing was that when Henry asked, "How much brandy" the person with the recipe said, "You know, a big bottle" (meaning a fifth). Henry, however, went to Costco and since prices were good, got a half gallon, After all, it was the 'big' bottle.

So, nobody got hurt, really. The bird was fantastic and the drippings, which contained a good deal of brandy, in some form or other, made fantastic soup! I think this is probably an OK recipe if you follow the PROPER directions and use much less brandy. The turkey was fantastic.
emoticon



Peace be with you
CHARLOTTE1947 SparkPoints: (43,553)
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10/6/13 3:31 P

Well then, there was the Angel Food Cake I made for a friend's birthday that came out 1/2" tall. It was good. Chewy, but good.

"The only way to hurt your body is to not use it." Jack LaLanne
ALBERTJON SparkPoints: (3,133)
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10/6/13 12:34 P

I've been sharing some of these stories with my wife. It's great that we can laugh at ourselves from time to time.
=====
LOVEXAVIE: O M G !

"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Emerson

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LOVEXAVIE SparkPoints: (34,949)
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10/6/13 12:06 P

Oh my gosh - love reading everyone's stories! Am laughing so hard.

Back in the 80's, I used to do my own "fake nails" but all that really meant was gluing a nail tip, filing down the seam and then polishing it. This was before people started applying acrylic after which, as we know, keeps them ON your fingers.

I made a batch of brownies. After I put them in the oven, I noticed some broken and missing nails. I didn't see when they came off and assumed (hoped) they'd just be on the kitchen floor.
My dad helped himself to the brownies. I was in the other room & heard, "JILL!!!! What's THIS???"

It was all chewed and covered in chocolate but YEP! There's my nail!!



STRONG_SARAH Posts: 1,202
10/6/13 5:13 A

Last week, I was looking for a way to make stuffed cabbage rolls with fewer carbs. I read that cauliflower pulsed in the food processor can be a rice substitute so I made beef/ cauliflower cabbage rolls. Bad mistake.
First, they were tasteless, second, without going into too much detail, we all suffered the stomach effects of cruciferous vegetable overkill. Cabbage and cauliflower should not be combined!

-Sarah


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SOCAL_LEE SparkPoints: (41,513)
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10/6/13 12:28 A

Best. Topic. Ever.

One night I made an apple cake for our friends, who were coming over for dinner. What I didn't know is that the oven was on the fritz and while it turned on and heated up fine, it had turned itself off at some point. So the cake looked done, but when I cut into it, it oozed out. Arrgh. The oven also did this when I was roasting a chicken for Christmas dinner --we're a small family ;) -- so dinner was an hour late that year.

Worst-tasting thing I ever made was a crockpot dish with chicken and acorn squash. It was sludge. Revolting sludge.

EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
10/5/13 10:45 P

Pretty much everything I have ever tried to bake gluten free was a complete failure.

Moving in new directions.
LKS2GAB2 SparkPoints: (37,694)
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10/5/13 10:36 P

When I was first starting out with my husband I attempted, many times, to make muffins. I read the directions and proceeded. I made sure that the batter was smooth then I baked them for the allotted time. They were hard as hockey pucks. emoticon Seriously, you could have injured someone if you threw them. I tried and tried. Bought gadgets to help me and was lovingly named Ellie Mae by my sweet husband. I gave up on baking for many years as I figured is was not for me.

Then I saw a show on FoodTV and learned the error of my ways. I now bake well but hubby still refers to me as Ellie Mae when I do. emoticon

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SARAHSLO Posts: 8
10/5/13 6:57 P

Everyone always enjoys the chocolate chip cookies that I make, but I don't care for chocolate very much and need to be in the right mood to make them at random.

One afternoon my husband decided that he really wanted cookies, but I did not feel like making them. So, he decided to try. Unfortunately he only put in half the amount of flour the recipe needed. His first sheet of "cookies" had melted into a sheet of toffee-like substance. We laughed as I adjusted the remaining dough's flour content and finished baking them together.

I appreciated his effort and reward him about once a month by making some. He eats a few and my co-workers enjoy the rest.


SUNSET09 SparkPoints: (251,026)
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10/4/13 11:09 P

emoticon
I was in high school and decided to make fudge for a boyfriend.

When I looked for "canned" milk, I thought it would be a good idea to splurge and get the expensive milk, because I wanted the candy to be extra good.

Back at home, I mixed up the fudge ingredients and began stirring.

My middle school brother who was a good cook came in and asked what I was doing, so I told him that I was making fudge and waiting for it to come to a boil. My brother looked at the giant ball of chocolate in the pan which was starting to scorch and told me that I should come get him if that ball started boiling.

And, that is how I learned the difference between evaporated and condensed milk.


THATWEIRDGIRL Posts: 3,722
10/4/13 11:00 P

I tried to make panda bread (www.apartmenttherapy.com/look-panda-bread-
91127
) with my cousin; however, since she is gluten intolerant, we were attempting to make it gluten free. We were using a bagged g-free flour blend, and, unfortunately, we had no xanthan gum.

Our bread did not turn out.

But, on the other hand, we made a super effective door stop. Or possibly a paper weight. Either application would have sufficed.

Edited by: THATWEIRDGIRL at: 10/4/2013 (23:01)
MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 14,359
10/4/13 9:59 P

When I was thirteen I made a birthday cake for my mother. I forgot the baking powder and it didn't rise. It was still edible but rather gooey and mushy.

I once made cupcakes and the recipe called for baking powder and I used baking soda. Or the other way around, blech, disgusting.

A snickerdoodle recipe that called for cream of tartar called for a teaspoon and I used a soup spoon because I couldn't find the teaspoon, blech disgusting.

When I was older and I was making bread and the yeast was dead. You all who make bread know that yeast breads become very foamy and spongy. They kind of fight you back. The bread just became gooey and then started smelling to high heaven.

I was cooking with quinoa noodles and that was just a plain nasty experience



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ALBERTJON SparkPoints: (3,133)
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10/4/13 9:41 P

OMG! These are great!
==================
A couple of years ago, close to the holidays, I got a wild idea to make what I called "insanity candy." I used a large glass baking dish and layered crushed nuts, melted caramels, wafer layers where I had scraped out the creamy filling of cookies, dark chocolate, white chocolate, milk chocolate, shredded coconut, melted marshmallows, etc. Anyway, it was a very time-consuming process because of how long it took to unwrap the individual caramel pieces and separate the thin wafer cookies and scrape off the cream. Plus it was messy and tricky to melt all the chocolate pieces just right. When I was done alternating at random the many layers, I had a humongous deep baking dish full of "insanity candy." I refrigerated the masterpiece overnight.

The next day I added up all the calories for all the ingredients. It was mind-staggering. I figured out that one bar of the size I first cut off was around 4800 calories. Yes, just one bar! I cut the candy into smaller blocks and froze them separately wrapped in plastic wrap and packed into zip-lock bags. At Christmas time when all the children and their SO's came for around a week, I thawed out a block and cut it into pieces. They all started laughing. The candy tasted great, but it was such a silly thing to make. Each separate piece when put on its side looked like a railroad bridge or a multi-colored log. They still tease me about that monstrosity!

"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

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LADYCJM SparkPoints: (45,383)
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10/4/13 7:16 P

OMG EdK! I forgot about something similar. I put on the "clean" cycle after dinner one night, forgetting to remove the pan with the leftover chicken from the oven!

We are both really lucky that we didn't burn our houses down! The smoke and the smell were horrible.

EDKNICELY SparkPoints: (1,314)
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10/4/13 6:50 P

I literally caught my daughter's birthday cake on fire in August. I accidentally set the oven on clean. How I managed to do this, I will never know. The house was full of smoke and I was freaking out because my oven locks when the oven is cleaning until it cools down. Luckily the cake burnt completely up in the fire and the fire extinguished itself. I am just so happy that the fire was contained in the oven.

JMOUSE99 SparkPoints: (134,218)
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10/4/13 6:49 P

BLUEANNIEDOG, you just reminded me that my boyfriend told me his ex-wife once made a big fancy dinner early in their marriage that featured prime rib. She misread the recipe though and instead of broiling the meat she boiled it!

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BLUEANNIEDOG Posts: 321
10/4/13 6:45 P

Broiled a cake once.

Lucille is a good dog.
LADYCJM SparkPoints: (45,383)
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10/4/13 5:43 P

LOL , these are great stories!

My worst mistake was accidently using 2 Tablespoons of beef bullion in the beef stroganoff instead of 2 teaspoons. Inedible does not begin to describe it. We ordered pizza for dinner.

Hubby's worst mistake was mixing up the flour and the powdered sugar canisters when he was making sausage gravy. Sweet sausage gravy just doesn't work!

MITTHRAWN SparkPoints: (5,044)
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10/4/13 5:36 P

I think the worst thing that ever happened to me was when I tried to bake some catfish. First off catfish has a pretty strong flavor to start off with so it wasn't a good choice for baked fish anyway. I had baked fish plenty of times before but i always just baked them with some lemon and pepper.

Since this was catfish however I felt it would be criminal to not have batter, but didn't want calorie packed fried ones. So I marinated and battered those puppies up and tried to cook them at high temp in my oven. The result was a mushy mess, all the juices soaked the bottom half and the top half didn't crisp because of all the steam and of course the strong catfish flavor was oh so pleasantly aromatic. I couldn't even try it lol

This is why I avoid ovens whenever possible and just stick to the stove-top and grill

RILOLA Posts: 150
10/4/13 4:59 P

ALBERTJON: LOL! Exactly! We can incinerate meat in a flash emoticon

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LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,078)
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10/4/13 4:25 P

Jeez OM, even your description put me off my afternoon yogurt for a bit. emoticon

When I was studying in London a couple of years ago, the student housing complex decided to have a summer bbq. This coincided with my discovery of blackberries that were growing on the property so I decided to make blackberry crisp for the event. I have a good crisp recipe but I never made it with anything other than apples. I did a little bit of research and decided to add some corn starch to the blackberries so they would gel and not juice. Well good old UK stores don't have corn starch so I had to use ground arrowroot instead and apparently didn't use enough. When I went to cut into it (at the party, in front of everyone, of course), the crust was great, but the blackberries had completely disintegrated. The crisp was decidedly not.

In a brilliant suggestion, one of my friends suggested we pour off the juice (the crust was stable so this was accomplished easily) and mix it with vodka...much fun was had by all. :D

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10/4/13 4:15 P

my former MIL was usually a pretty good cook, but she made 2 dishes I just could not eat. One was her meatloaf - which had a Velveeta center. Slicing that meatloaf and seeing that nasty orange stuff come oozing out just made me want to hurl. Probably didn't help matters that I was not expecting it. I'm sure I had an OMG, WTH look on my face!

in her defense, it might have tasted really great. The visual was too much for me to even give it a try.

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JMOUSE99 SparkPoints: (134,218)
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10/4/13 4:05 P

This is a great topic.

The worst dish I ever ate was when my neighbor invited us and some other neighbors over for dinner. He had made Beef Wellington, which is beef tenderloin wrapped in puffed pastry for anyone unfamiliar with the dish. He said he worked on it all afternoon. I don't eat a lot of meat, but this sounded pretty good to me. When I cut into my piece, I could not get the knife through it at all (we had regular knives, not steak knives). I sawed away at it for a while and got a tiny shred of meat off, then I gave up and ate the pastry. He had used un-tenderized flank steak instead of tenderloin! What a waste of time and effort.

I can remember once forgetting to put salt in the bread I was making. I can't remember exactly how it turned out, except it was inedible! Another big waste of time and effort as I always make big batches and this was 6 loaves in the garbage.

This one isn't exactly a cooking disaster, but I think it is funny. My sister and her husband usually buy an ice cream cake for birthdays. One time they came over to our place for my sister's birthday and I bought what I thought was a Black Forest ice cream cake from the grocery store. It was only after the party was over and everyone had gone home that I looked at the package again and realized it was a frozen Black Forest cake, not an ice cream cake! No ice cream in it at all. No one said a thing, and some people had seconds. I still haven't told anyone in the family about it!

Edited by: JMOUSE99 at: 10/4/2013 (16:06)
Lenore (Vancouver, Canada)

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10/4/13 3:43 P

RILOLA: LOLOL! OK, so maybe you and I won't be asked to be on The Cooking Channel's "BBQ Pitmasters" anytime soon.

"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Emerson

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -- Thoreau
RILOLA Posts: 150
10/4/13 3:40 P

These are all great stories! Thank you for the topic!

I had always thought of myself as a decent cook until I married. I was a vegetarian at the time, but made great chili, meatloaf and hamburgers. Sometimes, my husband worked the night shift and would ask me to pack a home cooked meal for him to eat later that night (he worked in a remote area with no restaurants nearby). I recall sending him off to work with a painstakingly made dish of sauteed veggies over rotini pasta, and because he wanted "meat", I threw in pan-fried chunks of smoked sausage. Since he didn't like tomato-y sauces, I just added melted butter and tossed everything in that. It was a greasy mess and I don't know if he actually ate it. I still believe butter makes everything better, but maybe not in that instance.

Now that I'm not a vegetarian, and have a tween-age son who is discovering what he likes to eat, meat is frequently on the menu. He loves grilled steak and baby back ribs. I don't usually use the grill, so with my husband out and my son wanting ribs in the worst way, I thought it would be a cinch to grill the ribs. My husband had failed to tell me the burners on the gas grill only have two settings "Low" and "Hellfire". I put two burners on what I thought was medium and placed the rack of ribs over the unlit section. The meat caught fire and burned to a crisp. My son was sorely disappointed and told me I needed to learn how to cook like his dad. Hmmph.

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10/4/13 3:17 P

I love reading all of these. I have read them a couple of times. We need to keep a sense of humor about cooking, eating, recipes -- LOLOL!
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During the holidays, I will make for my children when they all come home to visit and for my wife homemade caramel corn, using the simple recipe of butter, dark Karol syrup, vanilla, and brown sugar. After melting those ingredients, at the last second I will add a small amount (teaspoon/tablespoon) of baking soda before pouring the syrup into a large brown grocery sack containing 2-3 "popperfuls" of corn and stirring it all up. On the kitchen counter I had my usual scattered array of tablespoons, teaspoons, measuring cups, etc. For whatever reason (brain dead?), I grabbed a 1/4th cup measuring device instead of a teaspoon. I scooped out some bacon soda, poured it into the syrup, poured the syrup into the bag of popcorn, and mixed all the goodness up with a spatula.

Dang! Then after it cooled a bit, I tried to eat some. Crap! That baking soda flavor ruined the entire batch. Just flat-out ruined it. I even made some more syrup and mixed it in, hoping I could cover-up the flavor. No luck; it WAS TERRIBLE. I had to dump the entire batch of caramel popcorn. To this day now, I hate the slightest taste of baking soda. If a recipe calls for it, I will often use less than the recipe calls for.

Edited by: ALBERTJON at: 10/4/2013 (15:20)
"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Emerson

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -- Thoreau
OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (93,157)
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10/4/13 3:05 P

I've known several people who didn't realize they actually had to cook the lasagna noodles BEFORE putting everything together

sis' first attempt at fried chicken - she thought when the crust was brown, the chicken was cooked (she was probably in 4th grade at the time)

DH is really bad about undercooked things on the grill. Now I tell him to just leave a piece of chicken on the grill for me and I will go out and get it later. I would rather eat dried out chicken than PINK chicken any day!

The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker; a person who has the skills, abilities, talents and tools, yet chooses not to use them.
~Heather Whitestone

Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
SLENDERELLA61 SparkPoints: (190,460)
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10/4/13 2:48 P

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years ago my mom was baking a pound cake for a church bake sale. she had made it successfully many times, however, this time she accidentally got self-rising flour and didn't realize it. The oven exploded and there was cake from the ceiling to the floor. The cake that stuck to the pan my sister and I enjoyed. I'm sure we split half a cake!!

My own awful experience was not as dramatic. I grabbed maple flavor instead of vanilla when I made a chocolate meringue pie for my husband, one of his favorites. I had spent a long time on it even making the crust from scratch. He wouldn't eat it.

Edited by: SLENDERELLA61 at: 10/4/2013 (14:50)
Marsha's Keys to Success = Tracking! Super Foods! Step Up Cardio! And most important: Quit Quitting!!
SHEL_V2 Posts: 173
10/4/13 2:41 P

Everyone's first cooking mis-adventure is to think they've scored some serious candy, only to learn that a bar of baking chocolate tastes gross, right? I suspect my 9 year old just notched that one. I could have sworn I had two bars of Dagoba in there.

In junior high, my mom had a job with a commute for the first time. She'd call home and relay me cooking instructions. I was not always appropriately attentive. Whatever extra I put in the meat loaf made it much better. For baked chicken, I wasn't sure what to do with the lightly beaten egg and Bisquick mixed with seasoning, I mixed them well and globbed it on top of the chicken breasts. Yum, biscuits! Awkward looking, but tasted good.

My Dad's disasters were better. In high school he decided I should be eating breakfast in the morning. The first morning he made me cinnamon toast. As in dry bread, with a ton of dry cinnamon on it. And cocoa. As in hot water mixed with unsweetened cocoa power. The next morning he poured me some cereal. The morning after that, he slept in and I made my own toast!

Oh, and his epic disaster with Mom's phoned in directions was that he didn't know much about garlic. My mom pulled into the driveway on pot roast night and smelled garlic. When she unlocked the door, she felt garlic slap her in the face. When she asked my dad about how it went getting the pot roast in the oven he admitted "I couldn't get all the papery stuff off the clove of garlic, but I broke all the little bits up and got them in the pan". Whole bulb of garlic. We went out to dinner! And the next night we had pot roast tacos.

My most heart-stopping disaster was later. In college I visited my friend and -almost- boyfriend's home on the farm. City girl, out there during harvest. I made lasagna for his family. Got it assembled and in the oven and OH CRAP the bowl of ricotta was still on the counter. I pulled the slightly hot lasagna pan out of the oven, lifted the layers up with a spatula, and crammed the ricotta in there as best I could. He was a great cook, I presumed his mom and sister to be good cooks, and they were all as lovely as could be about the lumpy lasagna.



LOVE4KITTIES Posts: 2,055
10/4/13 2:39 P

My husband was in charge of barbecuing the Thanksgiving turkey. It caught on fire. Smoke and flames billowed... He got it out. It was a little blackened on the outside, but it still tasted good.

emoticon

AANDAWN Posts: 19
10/4/13 2:12 P

I have two flops... from early in my marriage....
The first is that I tried making an Italian dish with artichokes and instead of buying plain ones I bought pickled and thought the juice would be good in the sauce.. so to say the least it was quite pickley.
Second I made eggplant lasagna and did not prepare the eggplant I just put it in raw.This meant it turned into a snot like substance on the bottom of the pan, To this day I am still too chicken to make eggplant lasagna again. lol.



KNUCKLES145 Posts: 13,748
10/4/13 1:34 P

and then there was the soup.....that even the dogs would eat. (and my kids have never let me live it down)

All the so called "secrets of success"will not work ... unless you do.


JAMIRBLAZE Posts: 1,211
10/4/13 1:27 P

I did have a bad experiment with Splenda causing a cake not to rise several years ago, but fortunately, I could re-bake it. Looked like 9 inch pancakes, instead of cake layers.

I've been eating a lot of baked oatmeal for breakfast (usually blueberry banana, strawberry banana or dried cranberries and raisin). I love fall so I tried to do a pumpkin pecan version...and my pumpkin pie spice was old and flavorless. I had forgotten how long ago that I had bought it. Yuck! I tried it again as I still had some pumpkin left with some other spices, and I just couldn't get it to taste good.

TIG123GER SparkPoints: (76,906)
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10/4/13 1:14 P

When in college I read the chocolate chip recipe to say 2 half cups of flour instead of 2 and 1/2 cups - not my best effort!

Edited by: TIG123GER at: 10/4/2013 (13:14)
Lay aside life-harming heaviness and entertain a cheerful disposition.
ALBERTJON SparkPoints: (3,133)
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Posts: 1,299
10/4/13 12:57 P

My most expensive cooking disaster occurred when I was grilling two large racks of baby-back ribs. I had not cleaned the grease out of the drop drawer in my grill for quite a while. Nor had I cleaned the built up burned-on charcoal for awhile. I put the ribs on the grill and shut off the middle burner panel, leaving the two outside ones on. However, the grease below caught on fire and the entire inside lit-up including the ribs. I was inside getting some veggies and potatoes ready. I looked out the patio and saw smoke billowing up.

I opened up the lid to be greeted by two racks of ribs blazing away in all their glory. I got the burning ribs off with a bit of a struggle. Then I let the grease burn off. I drove to another town 30 miles away and bought some more baby back ribs. Things went well on my next try, although dinner was a few hours late; and it was rather expensive. But the ribs were good. LOL!

"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Emerson

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -- Thoreau
OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (93,157)
Fitness Minutes: (59,165)
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10/4/13 12:05 P

my first attempt at making gravy for turkey - tasted fine, but the color wasn't right (IMO). So I added some food coloring. That was fine, except that with the leftovers, the turkey absorbed the food coloring
emoticon emoticon emoticon
also just about every FIRST attempt at altering a dessert recipe to something healthier. That takes some experimenting to get the taste, consistency, and 'rising' right

The most handicapped person in the world is a negative thinker; a person who has the skills, abilities, talents and tools, yet chooses not to use them.
~Heather Whitestone

Forget your perfect offering, there is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in.
~Leonard Cohen
LEC358 SparkPoints: (11,078)
Fitness Minutes: (6,555)
Posts: 2,725
10/4/13 11:59 A

Worst disaster of mine to date was when I tried to make zucchini spaghetti and through a combination of impatience and inexperience cut the squash too small and didn't drain it so it was a watery soupy mess. At least I was only cooking for me so I didn't have to hear any complaints about it.

The worst I've ever eaten was when BF tried to surprise me with V-Day dinner (we only see each other on weekends b/c of distance and work) on Friday evening but I had had a big lunch/breakfast at work so I wasn't feeling very hungry by the time I got to his place. So we just pushed it to Saturday night. However, he had a steak marinating in soy sauce and some other stuff since Friday morning so by the time I ate it Saturday night, it was salty beyond belief. Of course, I said *absolutely* nothing except that it was wonderful.

ALBERTJON SparkPoints: (3,133)
Fitness Minutes: (7,415)
Posts: 1,299
10/4/13 11:48 A

What are some cooking/baking/recipe disasters/flops that you have committed? They can be small or large. Or that you did not commit, but were the recipient of?

(1) Many years ago, I decided I wanted to make some beef and noodle stew. My wife had made some a week or so before that, using egg noodles, which hold up quite nicely when the remainder is refrigerated. I found some Ramen noodles in the cupboard, so I made a beef stewing using cooked, cubed beef, Ramen noodles, diced onions, etc. The soup was passable, I ate a couple of bowls, and put the remainder in the refrigerator. The next day when I heated it up, the Ramen noodles had turned to mush. Meh!!!!!! I picked out the beef cubes and tossed the rest.

(2) When I was young (9-10?), my mother, from a last-second call for help, had baked a lemon meringue pie for one of the local churches' fund-raising efforts. My older brother took it up to the church. A bit later, my mother realized she had not put sugar in the filling. Upon threat of death or worse she commanded that my brother and I run up to the church and get the pie back. Well, it had already been sold, so who knows how that went over.

OK, share your interesting/humorous/calamitous cooking adventures, please.

"If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred...Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body? " -- Whitman

“Trust thyself: every heart vibrates to that iron string.” -- Emerson

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see." -- Thoreau
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