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SECRETDIETER SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 1
4/25/12 8:46 P

This is unbelievable that I just stumbled upon this message board (and site in general). I've been a secret dieter for most of my adult life. I found it easier that way. I was scared of announcing I wanted to be healthier with the worries that it would not work out. So... I took a huge jump out of my comfort zone and went (way) public with it. I started a blog and announced to all of my family and friends what I was up to. In a weird way, it has forced me to be accountable and stay on track. We will all do the "diet thing" at our own pace, but this is my newest adventure!

I'm so excited to have found this site and all of you. Can't wait to look around.

JULIA1154 Posts: 1,783
4/13/12 8:30 P

I don't really talk with anyone about it, except a very, very few who really truly care. And I never raise the topic - I let them lead.

Many people have commented that I look great or tiny or whatever - I just say "thank you" and try to move on from there. If someone really wants to know what I'm doing differently I'll certainly discuss it with them if it's an appropriate time and place but I don't discuss it with my colleagues or co-workers at all. So many people want to know "the secret" but don't want to make the necessary changes, in my experience.

I've suggested SP to a few people whom I knew were looking for this type of support, tools and community but I don't bring it up on Facebook, etc. I'm way too private for that approach.

ALLENJOSEPH SparkPoints: (238,547)
Fitness Minutes: (135,823)
Posts: 11,127
4/13/12 6:52 P

It use to be that way for me, that I didn't like to tell anyone I was on a diet. It seemed like I just couldn't tell anyone I was dieting; it was too much to promise. Since I began using the food tracker,which a Team Leader taught me to use, I became motivated, I record my food daily. I have exercise almost daily since February 4th, when I learned how to use the nutrition tracker. I didn't know then much at all about the fitness tracker but I exercised almost daily. Now I've been taught how to use that too, and I've been motivated over all this time, and so serious about getting healthier. I love using the trackers. They make a big difference. I've lost 12 pounds since I began in February. I must admit Spark People has changed me for the better. I must say I was "almost" superstitious to say I was dieting in the past...not anymore! emoticon emoticon

TRILLIANTOO SparkPoints: (41,587)
Fitness Minutes: (30,218)
Posts: 16,790
4/13/12 6:33 P

At first, when I was at parties and people would comment on my food choices I told them I was trying to lose weight, but they looked at me like I was crazy, and started having worried conversations with me because they didn't think I needed to lose weight. So I stopped talking to them about it.

But then I didn't see anyone for a long while and they were pleasantly shocked at how I looked, not recognizing me at first. THEN they understood why I wanted to lose weight.

DFWMOMOF3GIRLS - FWIW, I lost most of my weight without exercising. I have been in chronic pain for a very, very long time and for years simply bathing was the most strenuous activity I could do (1-2 times a week at best).

It IS possible to lose weight without exercising. Don't give up!

4/13/12 8:03 A

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've dieted so often and failed... I just don't want to fail again. I haven't been able to exercise (been going to doctor for a "lung" issue I guess you could say) but have really hunkered down this week and watched what I have been eating. My husband is wonderful and would never say anything about my obesity but privately, I don't want him to see me or touch me being this overweight.

And yes, it is good to have "anonymous" sparkbuddies on here. It really did help me to read all the posts (and I did read them all).

MIWOLFF Posts: 428
4/12/12 7:42 P

I only share with my family and very close friends.

SPIFFDEB SparkPoints: (28,059)
Fitness Minutes: (16,230)
Posts: 1,483
4/12/12 7:03 P

My husband knows and that is about it. I don't like telling other people my business.

DEBBY4576 Posts: 7,164
4/12/12 6:56 P

I tell everyone I'm on a diet. I always am too.

Fitness Minutes: (20,400)
Posts: 2,704
4/12/12 6:38 P

I didn't talk about my weight loss at first, but when people started asking about it I would respond with something like, "Yeah, I've been going to the gym more often lately..." If they asked for more info I would also say something like, "Oh, and I'm keeping track of what I eat on" I NEVER tell people anything about my weight, diet or fitness unless they ask (or unless it's an online forum like SparkPeople).

Edited by: HOLISTICDETOXER at: 4/12/2012 (18:38)
SASKATOONJANE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (3,375)
Posts: 267
4/12/12 6:15 P

I tell no one. not my husb not my kids not my friends.
only sparkers
i cannot bear to be a failure again. my husb does not look at me at all so he won't likely notice until I am a size 2 then he'll want to be my friend.
my kids are little or old enough to be moved away from home already
my friends are casual , not close.

HEALTHY14REAL Posts: 2,549
4/12/12 3:25 P

My husband knows and my girls but other than than I don't tell. I don't want the scrutiny and judging from those around me or the temptations. Support would be great but I don't need the rest. When I get a better handle on my new healthy life I'm sure it will be apparent and then maybe I'll be ready to share and spread the spark.

4/12/12 3:07 P

I do work with some people that prefer to keep it quiet. They get so much unsolicited advice. Also when someone sees them eating something they get the look or the smart remark, "that isn't on your diet."

Edited by: AUGGIE1DOGGIE at: 4/12/2012 (15:07)
MASHAMOO Posts: 1,667
4/12/12 3:05 P

I don't tell people except for my husband and my doctor. And my sparkbuddies, of course.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,460
4/12/12 1:05 P

Even though most people that I would tell are very supportive.

There are always those that look at you and say stuff like "Good job so far. You do realize you're not done yet and need to loose another 10-15 pounds at least." Love that they add "at least" to the statement. Yes I know this and even though I want to believe they are trying to be helpful, it stings a little.

And then there are those that feel the need to start critiquing everything that you eat. "Can you really lose weight eating that?" And my favorite "You cannot eat pasta, potatoes or bread on a diet"

So yeah I pretty much keep it to myself. On Facebook I may include a link to Spark People, but most of the time I keep it to myself.

SCALE_WATCHER Posts: 2,739
4/12/12 12:18 P

Dieting is my private indulgence!

4/12/12 11:55 A

For some reason, I've always felt that letting others know about your diet gives attention to yourself, and if you happen to not do well on your diet, gives others ammunition to gossip about you, especially those people who need to lose weight themselves. Some of them would like nothing better than to see you fail.

ANARIE Posts: 13,185
4/12/12 11:22 A

I had one co-worker who noticed immediately, when I had lost maybe 5 pounds. We were close friends and I trusted her, so I told her basically what I was doing. I never discussed it with anyone else until I had lost 50 pounds and it was super obvious. Even then, I paid very close attention to their attitude when they asked. If it was just a casual remark to be polite, I would say, "Yeah, I quit eating so much junk." If I thought they really wanted to know, I would say, "I used a computer program to track the calories I ate, and I started exercising." If they REALLY wanted details, they would invariably come find me when no one else was around and ask for the name of the program, and then I would answer any questions they asked.

For the most part, I don't think it's productive to talk a lot about it. It's SO easy to offend someone without meaning to, and you can also just be perceived as kind of obnoxious if you talk about achieving ANYTHING that others want to do but aren't working on. If I were working on another college/graduate degree, or learning some sort of skill that was likely to get me promoted, or running my own successful business on the side, I wouldn't tell friends and coworkers any more than I absolutely had to about that, either. People don't mind seeing you succeed, but they DON'T want to hear about how you did it.

4/12/12 11:02 A

If someone asks me directly whether I've lost weight, I don't deny it. It doesn't make sense to do so, since the evidence is right there before them.

I do avoid making a big deal out of it, by saying something non-committal like, "I've been a bit more active than usual lately" or "I've been trying to eat healthier meals. I guess it's paying off."

SABLENESS Posts: 6,816
4/12/12 10:57 A

My support community is right here. Now that I've lost 30 lbs, I do get an occasional comment. I rave about SP if asked.

TICKLE135 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 5
4/12/12 10:52 A

I have a very ED past, so food issues are known to my family. My mom is my diet buddy and my sister is the saboteur. My boyfriend knows, but understands. I keep the details secret from him so he doesn't get weirded out and think i'm a diet freak. My friends don't know. I'm not vocal about it.

JESSYMICHELLE SparkPoints: (3,290)
Fitness Minutes: (2,386)
Posts: 112
4/12/12 10:25 A

I pretty much keep it to myself. I think I would be afraid to make a big deal about it and then fail --it wouldn't seem quite so bad if I was the only one who knows that I failed.
Also, I don't want everyone else making an issue. In winter and spring, I wear a lot of layers, but I guess with summer approaching it will be more difficult to hide.
A friend asked a few weeks ago if I'd lost weight. I just shrugged and said I didn't think so. I don't know why it's so hard to admit though.

4/12/12 10:15 A

What happened to me: When I first started losing weight I denied it when someone asked. After a 30 pound drop I couldn't hide it and it didn't help that I didn't buy new clothes either at first, my shirts looked like parachutes on me.

I started to get "cornered" by co-workers inSISting that fess up what kind of secret diet I was on. When i retorted eating healthier and exercising some "gufawed" at me thinking I was holding a top secret and not wanting to share it.

So yeah, I guess I was keeping it a secret.

4/12/12 9:55 A

I don't talk about it with anyone other than my husband. I tend to be pretty reserved about most things, so I don't really feel the need to discuss it with friends or co-workers.

If someone asks me something specific, such as a recipe, or an exercise with which I'm familiar, I'm happy to answer them, but I don't start the conversation myself.

I've found that sharing details about goals, diets etc. with other people seems to give them an opening to offer their advice and opinions. I don't really want to hear it, so I don't tend to invite it.

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,460
4/12/12 9:46 A

It isn't really something I share.

4/12/12 9:03 A

I am selective Who I tell and how much. I do not want to be "monitored" by anyone! It is a lifestyle change, not a diet. I usually say I am making changes when someone notices and will share SPARKPEOPLE info if I think they are interested!
Good Luck!

MATTHEW0498 SparkPoints: (32,853)
Fitness Minutes: (18,507)
Posts: 1,377
4/12/12 8:35 A

It isn't something I offer, but if people ask (and numerous have lately) I'll share and tell them about Sparkpeople.

4/12/12 8:30 A

My husband knows, and maybe my mom? If someone notices my weight loss (when I lose, that is) I might confirm it, but I don't feel like going into details with coworkers, etc. That's why I have sparkpeople!

DEEANN8 Posts: 5,144
4/12/12 8:25 A

I only tell select people about my healthy life style attempts

KKKAREN Posts: 12,754
4/12/12 8:24 A

I never tell anyone because I'm not on a diet, I'm making a lifestyle change!

4/12/12 7:36 A

I wonder if anyone else is like me and just not telling anyone that they are trying to lose weight? It is not that I wouldn't have support but sometimes it feels like when I verbalize it.... I doom myself to fail.

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