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"Secret" Shameful, uncontrollable binges?



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LEKSIPATSY
Posts: 380
3/19/13 9:52 P

I agree with sharing with your husband. Mine is painfully aware of my weaknesses and he helps me with them as I help him in return. Letting yourself be vulnerable brings you closer together and strengthens your relationship. I glad you still make pasta. Have you thought about serving it with a side (or two) of veggies? I like the Mediterranean veggies mix and the succotash mixes in the frozen section. This could give you additional nutrients and less hunger too.



MUNCHKINLAND
Posts: 283
3/19/13 9:46 P

I'm proud of you for "coming out" about your pasta binges. I suspect that the majority of the people on this site have some sort of shame-based relationship with food. I'm a recovering binger of snack crackers - Triscuits, Wheat Thins, Cheez-Its. I still eat them, but now I measure out my portion instead of eating out of the box. I'm also a chocolate binger - M&Ms, Kisses, snack size Milky Ways - I have to go cold turkey with chocolate candy, and haven't had any since I rejoined SP in January. I tried to substitute Chocolate Cheerios but they were horrible! Now I eat Cinnamon Cheerios or yogurt when I want something sweet. Or Jolly Rancher hard candy because they will stick to my teeth if I try to quickly chew them. If you've ever had your teeth stuck together with JRs, it's something you won't soon repeat! Not to mention the potential destruction of one's teeth or dental work.

I hope that your spouse will react supportively & not add to the shame-messages you're already giving yourself.



COLDFY
Posts: 51
3/19/13 6:09 P

You're not alone. I've done the same in the past and I'm sure we're not the only ones.

I agree with the other posters - you should tell your husband. You don't need to make it a big deal, just ask him if he would mind tidying up after you cook to prevent temptation against your yummy cooking!

Some things that helped me stop this behavior are -
- Weighing food before cooking so that there is only 'enough' for the portions you need
- Making an effort to eat fibre rich food throughout the day. This can be difficult, but I find once I hit 30g fibre, I struggle to eat more.
- Cooking in batches at non-mealtimes so that food is already portioned
- Increasing the vegetable content of meals so that the portions are larger for similar calories

And remember, you're not alone, you've taken a massive step by recognizing your trigger, admitting it to yourself and taking steps to change your behavior.
emoticon



TURTLESDOVE
Posts: 1,061
3/19/13 3:41 P

I feel your pain. I know I want to binge more when I am hungry. Have you thought about eating more filling foods throughout the day? Maybe have a greek yogurt or something along with your meal or 30 minutes before it. Beans also fill me up.



SUSAN_FOSTER
Posts: 1,228
3/19/13 3:17 P

I like the idea of getting your husband to put away the leftovers. I especially think it would seem reasonable if you did the cooking - division of labor!



LIMERCIER
SparkPoints: (661)
Fitness Minutes: (90)
Posts: 28
3/19/13 3:08 P

Thank you SO much for all your kinds words and encouragement! I am feeling a little better about it :)

I think the best idea I've read is to only cook the amount we need. The reason I'd cook an entire box for our family of 3 is because I'd take the leftovers (what I'd left of 'em, anyway) to work with me for lunch the next day. But I think I can still figure out how to make just enough for dinner and one lunch without using the entire box of pasta.

As one person asked, I don't think only making these foods once or twice a month is depriving myself (which leads me to overindulge) because I do still make other types of pasta meals that I have no problem with; there are just these few specific pasta dishes that are triggers for me. Also, I've been bingeing like this for at least the last 5 years or so even when I was making these meals every week, so I know it isn't that.

I also never thought about the possibilty of having a folate deficiency though, that might be worth looking into for sure!

I think the next time I make one of these meals, I'll just say to my husband "Hey, could you put away the leftovers tonight? Its just too tempting for me to be alone with them!" I think I'm just so embarassed about it because he thinks I'm so disciplined and have all this will-power, but sometimes I just don't. Also, he's much slimmer than me and can, of course, eat anything and everything and not gain an ounce. Sigh.

As someone else mentioned, I also HATE being wasteful. We are on a tight budget most of the time so I always have to see that everything is consumed. And I also think that some foods just dont' taste as good re-heated.....they are best fresh and I want to get in as much as I can while its good, I guess?



4KWALK
SparkPoints: (84,624)
Fitness Minutes: (40,530)
Posts: 5,021
3/19/13 2:18 P

You should be so pleased with yourself for recognizing this pattern and be very proud that you have the courage to bring it out in the open. You are wise and brave. However you decide to deal with it, I know you will feel so much better just because you are dealing with it. You are no longer hiding this behaviour. I think half the battle is won just because you faced up to this unwanted behaviour. emoticon



LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,867
3/19/13 2:07 P

I think that everyone has struggled with trigger foods. I also used to struggle with overeating on pasta (spaghetti in my case). It was like I couldn't look at the leftovers without just eating them. Partly, I couldn't stand the thought of throwing them away because they were so tasty and that made it seem especially wasteful. Of course, their tasty goodness also lured me into eating more even though I was full. So, I was using my body as a garbage can for the leftovers.

These days, I make less pasta (but I still do make it once per week). I only make enough pasta for us to eat for dinner and there are no leftovers and there are no second helpings. What I've come to believe is that, when we don't have guests, there's no need to make extra food in case we want seconds. When we do have guests, of course we want to be gracious hosts and not leave our guests wanting (so we make extra, just in case). When it's just us, not making extra and just making enough for a reasonable serving for everyone is the moderate, reasonable, thing to do. If, for some reason, we're extra hungry, there's always extra vegetables, a piece of fruit, etc.

I do cook up a full batch of spaghetti sauce, but then I only use what's needed for dinner and I put the rest in the refrigerator or freezer. When it's time for spaghetti again, I cook fresh pasta (enough for one dinner) and heat up my saved sauce.

So far as serving myself, I weigh out my pasta before I put it on my plate and I tell myself that is my pasta/my dinner. I don't go back for seconds anymore (for any dinner) and I never eat pasta that I haven't weighed before putting it on my plate. I know how many calories of pasta I'm eating/how many calories I'm having for dinner and this helps because actually knowing the calorie count of my dinner discourages me from wanting more (not that there's more lurking about because I never make extra).

I don't think you have anything to be embarrassed about. Your husband may know already because he may wonder where the extra pasta is going! If it were me, I'd just tell him that I was finding that I had a tendency to finish off the pasta while cleaning up and ask him to pack it up for me so I wasn't tempted (if there were any leftovers).

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 3/19/2013 (14:20)


ICEDEMETER
Posts: 702
3/19/13 1:31 P

First of all, I see nothing here for you to be embarrassed or ashamed about! It's something that's happening, you are recognizing it, and you're trying to figure out the reason behind it. From that perspective, I'd say you should be proud of yourself.

The first thing you might want to do is have a look at the nutrient content of your pasta and see if there is something there that your body might be craving. I spent years going on crazy cereal and pasta binges before I found out from my doc that I'm chronically low on folate and iron. Pasta and cereal are enriched with both of those nutrients. Once I got those levels up with infusions, and started making sure that I get at least 100% of each daily, those binges are a thing of the past (without any conscious attempt to get rid of them). It might be worthwhile to take a trip to the doc and get a full vitamin/mineral blood panel done to see if there is a physical reason behind the craving.

In your place, I also would be having a chat with hubby about it. Secrets like this can end up hurting a relationship, and he also might have some good suggestions on what might be behind it, or what he can do to help.

Just an odd thought --- do you think that maybe restricting these to just a couple times a month might be hurting rather than helping? Is it possible that some part of your mind is resenting that and fighting back? It might be worth trying to have pasta more often instead of less, so as to reassure that part of your mind that you truly won't be deprived and missing things that give you pleasure.

Be proud of yourself for noticing the pattern and good luck in finding a solution that works for you!



ALLICIAC
SparkPoints: (24,038)
Fitness Minutes: (6,253)
Posts: 145
3/19/13 1:07 P

Can you make less at a time? Instead of cooking a whole box of pasta, maybe just cook half of it?



LIMERCIER
SparkPoints: (661)
Fitness Minutes: (90)
Posts: 28
3/19/13 12:47 P

Ok, so this is actually sort of embarassing for me to actually admit. I tell my husband everything about myself and this is one of those things that I can't even tell him, so I know its bad....but here goes.

I don't think I have an eating disorder, and I don't typically have any binge-eating problems. But there are two or three foods (all invovling pasta) where I WILL binge if I don't put the rest of the food away immediately after serving myself.

Here's what happens: I'll make some kind of meal involving pasta (beef stroganoff, buttery noodles, or 4-cheese-rosa or vodka sauce with pasta) and I'll serve up my reasonable amount onto my plate. After finishing the meal, I am satisfied or even full. I go to the kitchen to bring my plate to the sink, and see the pot full of delicious, still-warm leftovers. With my husband and daughter in the living room unaware, I quietly take my fork and just start eating right out of the pot! Then it becomes like this crazy game of "How much can I get away with eating before someone wonders where I went and comes in here" and I am shoveling it in until my stomach hurts. THEN I stop. Once it physically hurts.

So of course the most obvious solution is not to cook my trigger foods in the first place. But the thing is, I refuse to deprive myself of some of my most favorite foods. SO I have been limiting these foods to only once or twice a month and have been successful, but I've still had my difficult moments.
I also know I should just PUT AWAY the food right away! I honestly don't know what's keeping me from doing it. Laziness? I have also been cooking these items with healthier options like whole wheat pasta, non-fat ingredients, no butter, etc.

I've also considered telling my husband so he can sort of "keep watch" over me and get me out of the kitchen or maybe he'll be the one to just put the leftovers away right away. But I'm just so embarassed, I don't want him to know that I have this problem with self control.

Has anyone else ever done this? Hiding out in the kitchen secretly overeating something until it hurts?? I would love any suggestions, or even just for someone to tell me I'm not alone....



 
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