While I understand the agonies of having a "party" based business; I also tried to be understanding of people who booked parties and had to cancel (although I was rather hurt by the ones who vacated the home so they would not have the embarrassment of not having anyone attend - so when I showed up; nobody was there).
It is hurtful to have acquaintances like that. It's also difficult to go back to "high school" relationships - and believe me, that's a tough place to return, if you haven't maintained a consistent, growing relationship with those people. It's sort of like going back to the mother/daughter relationship that plagues some people.
While not easy, try not to let the attitudes/actions of others manipulate your reaction to them.
If there are unhealthy, negative patterns, maybe you want to RETHINK your relationship. Set some boundaries, talk about what each of you NEED from the other and what you want out of the friendship. If she is not willing to provide what you NEED and/or want from her, maybe it is time to let go again. If she is at least willing to try, you might want to work on it a little longer. RETHINKING does NOT mean you rush to give it up, just commit to thinking about it.
we became friends in 7th grade ( iam now 32yrs old) but we had alot of ups and downs throughout school and in 1998 after graduation,we went our seperate ways. it was about 4.5 yrs ago we hooked back up but im noticing the same patterns as in school
9/21/12 2:28 P
A friendship should be a healthy thing that gets you through the bad times. If it is stressing you out it might be time to reevaluate that frienship. I have been dealing with that lately and its my best friend. Its hard but in the end you need to do whats best for you even if that other person thinks what you're doing is wrong. I hope things get better for you.
9/21/12 10:49 A
I went through similar situations with friends... and I found that my reaction to their selfishness was actually stressing me out more than their attitudes. I did a lot of 'weeding out' through the last year as well. If a friendship doesn't feel mutual, then it's not much of a friendship. Maybe it's time to pull away from this particular person. I don't know the full relationship between the two of you, but it may be something to think about if it's causing you grief.
Edited to note * Hope your mom starts feeling better.
I am so sorry that you have been so hurt by someone you care about. You can't do anything about other people and THEIR attitude, you can help reduce the damage such anger causes for YOU by taking a moment and relaxing. I am sure that you had a good reason (mom being sick IS a legitimate reason) for canceling, maybe the OTHER person doesn't understand or simply was reacting with her feelings instead of her head. My reaction is to PRAY for them and since being angry or nasty REALLY ONLY HURTS ME - not the other person - I TRY (often not too successfully) to let the anger go before it corrodes my body. Anger and stress do ACTUAL PHYSICAL damage to our BODIES when allowed to keep us upset.
Take special care of YOU since your anger is legitimate and really REALLY hard to let go of, you want to stay as strong as you can so you can nurture YOURSELF and HEAL the hurt feelings and anger.
THOSE WHO CARE MORE ABOUT THEMSELVES THAN THERE FRIENDS WHO HAPPEN TO BE STRUGGLING WITH STUFF RIGHT NOW. I HONESTLY THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER MEET ONE OF THEM! LITERALLY SELFISH! TOO BUSY AND CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR MAKEUP BUSINESS TO CARE ABOUT ME AND MY MOM WHO IS VERY SICK. AND THEN TO HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY IM NOT BEING SUPPORTIVE OF HER BUSINESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL BECAUSE I HAD TO CANCEL ON ONE OF HER STUPID PARTIES CUZ MY MOM WASNT FEELING GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO PEOPLE HAVE THE NERVE?????????? PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU TELL YOUR LOVED ONES HOW MUCH YOU CARE FOR THEM AND WILL BE THERE FOR THEM.TAKE JUST ONE MINUTE OUT OF YOUR DAY TO MAKE SURE ALL IS WELL WITH THEM :)
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.