Sorry for your loss of your mother. That is great you got together with family and keeping the traditions alive. It is nice to have a treat and splurge a little bit and we need to have a night off from making a meal. I am sorry to here the people couldn't keep there comments to there selves. I think they have insecurities if they have to be so disrespectful and loud about it. It was probably best to not say anything but it would of been great if you passed by them slowly and say I heard every word you said and it really hurt my feelings. You don't know what I am struggling with right now and maybe think twice before judging someone you don't know. It could of been on the other foot and I am sure they would been upset also.
Those people must have seen something in you that they were jealous off and that is why they felt the need to put you down. What they said was rude and cruel but they do not matter. The people who truly love you are the only opinions that matter and you must know that you are a good person and deserving of respect and you can lose weight but what can they do about changing being stupid.
That is a sad state of affairs. How strong and wonderful you were by not speaking up. What goes around comes around. They will have their day - no doubt. Congratulations to you for being "The Better Person".
Fitness Minutes: (48,285)
4,877 4/16/13 10:07 A
some people are just ignorant and RUDE - it has nothing to do with race, creed, color, religion, weight, etc. If those morons were morbidly obese, they'd still be RUDE
look at it this way: you can lose weight (you already have!)...but they are likely to be the same obnoxious little pin heads for the rest of their lives
DO NOT LET THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE CONTROL YOU! They CANNOT dictate how you feel about yourself unless you let them. kick some butt & move on
One day they will reap what they sew. They will insult the wrong person and it isn't going to be pretty.
I feel pity for people like that and let my haters be my motivators.
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143 4/16/13 9:56 A
Others at our table heard the rude comments also-at first i felt a little hurt no one said anything or defended me..Later my husband told me the way they were "showing off" he felt they were looking for trouble and saying anything would have cause trouble... LOL though, does that hair color even occur in nature (girl) and thought for sure the guys jeans were going to fall off his@$$ when he stood up!
I recently went on a family vacation with my adult children. One daughter in particular has an extremely critical nature, and a very low self esteem. This vacation brought this shockingly home. I was appalled at the rude comments coming out of her mouth about people that had weight issues. I must also insert, our other daughter is very thin and in excellent physical shape. This seemed to feed low self esteem daughters rants on over weight people. It must have made her feel better.
My husband and I left that vacation saddened by her behavior, attitude and social skills. Dear daughter needs an intervention and some mental health counseling. This behavior was absolutely NOT the fault of the person being held to a ridiculous imposed standard by my low self esteem daughter.
People who are struggling with weight, money issues, drugs, (insert problem) need our prayers, not our rude comments.
Obviously, I have my own struggles. That's why I'm here!
Back to low self esteem daughter...I feel a definite need to address this daughter with my observations and plan on doing so. If she doesn't get a handle on her judgmental nature, she will find herself reaping the whirlwind...just sayin The over weight person may have a problem but my daughter made me and my husband feel sick listening to her
Fitness Minutes: (89,640)
5,701 4/15/13 10:00 P
I am sorry this happened to you, how awful! It would have been all I could do, to keep my hands off of my steak knife and not go over to the table. If I had an I-phone, I would have taken a photo of them, and posted it on facebook, telling your story to the world. These types of fools are becoming more and more commonplace, unfortunately. They are on all kinds of fitness message boards, especially, and they are not silly teenagers or something like that.
Sadly, we are seeing a lot of tragedies by young people who are bullied and treated with disrespect by others for some reason or another. Not all (and may I add most) people are NOT this rude. Be proud of your accomplishments and forget the ignorant people out there who can't find more to occupy their little brains other than to belittle others. This is the behavior of 5-year-olds, and obviously immature adults, who don't know any better. Be assured that there WILL be days that won't be so good for them either.
ANARIE: "You should try very hard to remember this moment. You're going to be very ashamed of this behavior someday when you grow up." This. I hope you don't mind, but I'm adopting this. There is something infinitely more powerful about such a statement, delivered quietly and calmly, vs a snapped back angry retort. And I'd deliver it to anyone, regardless of physical age. I know at least one 40-year-old that needs to hear this...
Congrats to the OP on your success so far. Don't let these exceptions to humanity take you off course.
Those people were extremely rude and I am sorry that you had to put up with that.
Congratulations on losing forty pounds
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158 4/15/13 5:41 P
People who put other people down like that do so to make themselves feel better for their own insecurities. Maybe he can't hold a job so he puts someone else down to feel better temporarily better about himself. These people opinions mean little to me as I have no respect for them being so unsophisticated and mean spirited people. Unfortunately weight is noticeable and other things people deal with are not. The people that put you down may have a prescription drug problem but no one can see that.
I wished someone in your family went up to them and said something. I would have also called the manager over and have asked them to throw them out. They may have because of verbal abuse.
I'm very sorry about your mother's death. That is tough to deal with and grieving takes a long time. My diet and exercise took a big back seat when my mom died so the fact that you are staying with it is great.
Those people were extremely rude and hurtful and that is not acceptable behavior for anyone of any size. I don't think it is normal.
I'm not a person who swears or snaps back at people, but in this particular situation, I do have a standard comeback:
"S/he may be fat, but s/he is losing weight. You're an a**hole, and no diet can fix that."
If I don't want to stoop to their level and they're significantly younger than me, I'll approach them and say, "You should try very hard to remember this moment. You're going to be very ashamed of this behavior someday when you grow up."
Both of these are more effective if someone other than the target says them, but doing it yourself works, too.
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5 4/15/13 2:48 P
Good post, MEOWZY! Ignoring these types leaves the attention on them, thus allowing them the chance to look the fools they are.
Uhmm... I think sometimes you just have to let it go.... saying something usually just makes it worse, these people... they're cruel idiots, they don't think the way you do. Trying to reason with them is useless... and I know it hurts :( and I'm sorry you went through something like that but just try to ignore those comments, you're doing great on your weight loss journey so don't let anyone discourage you :)
*sigh* Hopefully one day they'll realize how immature they're being and they'll grow up...
Fitness Minutes: (54,624)
3,345 4/15/13 2:23 P
last time someone called me fat in public, I threatened to eat them...
I am sorry this happened to you. Their behavior is inexcusable. Above all, you should feel sorry for them.
Congrats on losing 40 pounds! That is awesome and so are you!!!
Fitness Minutes: (56,965)
2,083 4/15/13 2:18 P
If someone I was with behaved like that, I would be mortified. Just absolutely mortified. I can't believe the way people behave out and about. That's just disgusting.
I had a person tell me once that she was "cold" in the office from the a/c being too high. Everyone around me agreed that the temp was comfortable....she looked at us and said "Yes, but I"M THIN...." you could have heard a pin drop. Some people just don't realize what they are saying....and yes, there are a lot of rude people out there as well. That couple obviously has to make themselves feel better to put down other people...I would have been embarrassed for THEM. Way to go on your weight loss.....give YOURSELF a pat on the back!
Inexcusable! I am incredibly sorry that your celebration dinner was interrupted by a couple that felt they had some right to be insulting... It is fantastic that you dropped forty pounds!! Hopefully karma will come around soon for the rude diners....
Then you definitely deserve to be commended for biting your tongue!!! *hugs* Not to mention-you made some fairly healthy selections, AND YOU LOST FREAKING FORTY POUNDS!!! OMG!!! SUPER HIGH FIVES WITH GLITTER!!!
I am not doubting the story, it seems totally plausible but I am concerned with the interpretation of what was "noticed".
I am having a hard time thinking that no one in your party "championed" you (someone who'll walk over there and let them have it). Maybe I need to re-read the original post, maybe that was said and I missed it.
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143 4/15/13 1:31 P
It took me everything I had Not to say something, since I had no idea what their reaction would be, I chose not to "start something" on my husbands birthday and in front of our company...otherwise...I would have came back with a zinger.
Sorry you went through that. Yes people can be very rude and inconsiderate of others. When this happens to me I remember "misery loves company"they are feeling bad about themselves and want the feeling to spread. I usually smile at them and say "You have the right to your opinion but I also have the right to not hear it. Please keep it to yourself."
OK, I have to say, that was beyond-the-pale of rudeness and poor etiquette. Particularly since it seems that they were purposely doing it loud enough to ensure you heard their comments. I know that if I had endured the same situation, I would have been too shocked at their bizarre and blatant lack of social skills/manners to say anything "at the time" but I would go home with my mind writing zingers-of-a-comeback that I'd wish I'd thought to say at the time. They really deserved to be called out for that. Just terrible.
But to your question "are thin people now that vain and rude toward others" - NO. Absolutely NOT. This couple was atypical. Their weight had nothing to do with their behavior (other than, if they'd been heavy themselves, they would have had to mark a different type of target for abuse). Don't let this incident put you off "thin people" - inside, we are all the same, with the same capacity for good or evil, kindness or cruelty.
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22 4/15/13 12:21 P
It is heartbreaking to think that people can be so mean at heart. They have some kind of problem! I am so sorry for you and everyone who has to put up with people showing their ignorance. I take care of special needs children and the most shocking thing to me was how some adults and teens say such rude things. God only knows, what makes their minds so wacky and their actions so mean. I guess we can just be thankful we do not have their mindset and cold hearts. Love -Patty
Fitness Minutes: (222,050)
21,715 4/15/13 12:20 P
This wasn't about you. Your weight just happened to be a convenient target for them that evening. It strikes me that they would have made rude comments to anyone sitting across from them just because they were acting like a couple of knuckle heads.
I remember this type from high school. They are nothing more than a couple of bullies looking for attention. You should have complained to the manager. People are supposed to respect other people in a public place. they were totally rude and out of line.
I've noticed a definite DECLINE in manners over the years. It's not just thin people who make these kinds of remarks. It's everyone. I'll tell you a story. I had a morbidly obese family member who regularly pointed out people who were heavier than they were. They would turn to me and ask,"how do people let themselves get so big ?". I would have to tell my loved one they weren't in a position to be passing judgements and neither was that couple.
OMGOSH how did you keep quiet and stay there? Your patience is to be admired, but then again not. People like that move from you right to another person because they were not put in their place. I would have at least said I hear you little kids either shut up or get out and went from there. I am sorry you had to go through that.
Edited by: I_HEART_MY_FAM at: 4/15/2013 (12:00)
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143 4/15/13 11:35 A
Saturday was my husbands Birthday, a few relatives visited and we went out to Longhorn for dinner which I enjoyed even though mom passed away last month, so this birthday was celebrated without her. We made birthdays and holidays a time for family get togethers. I am beginning to heal emotionally. I have lost over 40 lbs so far and still have a long way to go. I was the last to order my meal. I ordered a steak, sweet potato and a side salad. Everyone chose not to have a dessert, and no cake and ice cream at home. We do not eat out often, mostly during a birthday a few times a year, so it is a treat for me. The young couple that sat across from us kept commenting on my weight! Wow! How can she be hungry with all that weight!, Any bigger, she will need a bench instead of a chair!, Bet she can eat everything on the table!, She will probably go home and eat more!. I ignored their comments, and acted as if I didn't hear them. The resturant was to busy to request another table, and our foods was already served. Honestly, are thin people now that vain and rude toward others that don't meet their standards?! I was thin until in my thirty's and showed respect for everyone, have things changed so much?!
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