MA6791.... yeah that perfectionism thing can nail you pretty easily. I realized something a few months ago with my workout program. I had been going regular for a few months and then some bad things started happening and I missed a couple of weeks. Normally I would've been discouraged and dropped off even further. But then I realized that I wasn't starting over. I was still better off than before I started working out. So that was kind of motivating, knowing that even with all the messups, I'm still better off.
I have always wanted to do things perfectly and I can't I tend to procrastinate or give up. One thing that I have learned recently and am applying to everything in my life now is that I don't have to be perfect, I don't have to do it all at once, I can goof up and then start in again. The main thing is that I keep trying. Keep trying and eventually you will see results.
Fitness Minutes: (75)
337 4/9/03 9:20 P
As far as setting goals, I started with one of the ones that was most important to me. I'm pregnant, so for me it was providing my growing baby with a healthy environment (exercise and nutrition). For your parents, maybe a good one to start with is something dear to your heart, a goal that can somehow help your relationship with your children, like doing some kind of activity with them once a week, or reading to them.
Once you become successful at one or two goals that seem reasonably easy to attain, it becomes much easier to branch out into other goals. Don't try to do it all at once. There is time.
Great to meet you Mrs J. I'm also married to someone that likes the offline goal world a little better. The good thing is, we each have something the other can learn from, and we've helped each other get over some humps. I think the big thing for us is that even if we approach things differently, we still DO a lot together. How about you?
Thanks for the encouragements and the tips. Small steps ... I need to think in small steps. I'm glad to hear that this system works at defeating the belief that you can never fall off the wagon, so to speak. That's also one of my big hangups too! Once I'm not doing things "perfectly" I tend to give up. Perhaps one of my goals should be to aim for persistance rather than perfection?
PS And I think I'm also going to be 39 past this year (I don't feel 39 so I'll wait for my brain to catch up!).
Kathy and Rosa: I'm 39 too! I've been 39 for about 5 years now. Before that, I was 29 for a long time.
I too suffer from the "Want to Do Everything Now" syndrome. I have to tell myself to not put too many goals on my GoalPilot. Too bad I don't listen well. One thing I do listen well to is when I tell myself "Some". I use this as a single word affirmation that I repeat to myself several times a day (at least on days I remember to do so) and it has proven to be extremely helpful. (Maybe I should make a daily goal to do my "Some" affirmations.)
Welcome aboard! I know exactly what you mean, when I first started using the system I wanted to work on everything also. What helped me was to think about the main areas I wanted to focus on, and then pick a couple small things from each area that I could do on a daily basis. For example, the most important things to me at the time were personal leadership, my health, and school. So, my goals were to workout at least 15 minutes each day, drink 8 glasses of water, eat 1 fruit and 1 vegetable, review my notes for each class for 20 minutes, and set a daily "to do" list.
I set it up so the 6 goals weren't too dificult for me to achieve, but at the same time challenged me, which allowed me to build a mini foundation. As these things became habit, I noticed my confidence soaring. It was amazing, doing little things like that helped me in more ways than I ever thought. I started being more vocal in class, my relationships improved, and a couple other things. I was a believer! I just kept building off of those initial goals.
The most important thing I learned in those first 6 months was the "Two steps forward, one step back" theory. There are always going to be times when you fall off the wagon. In the past, I would have been disappointed and just given up on all my goals. The SparkPeople System taught me that is part of the process, and I just needed to figure out what set me back, learn from it, and move forward.
Five years later, I can't believe how much I've learned about myself! I consistently continue to progress forward, with of course a bump in the road every now and again. :-)
I just joined SparkPeople last week, and like you I'll soon be a 39 year-old member of the "general public." I've been married to my second husband for 5 years, and we have a 3 year old little boy who never ceases to amaze us.
To be honest, I'm finding the system a little overwhelming. I think I need to better define my goals and work on just one or two -- I tend to want to do *everything* all at once. Lose weight, improve my health, organize my life, destress, decide on new career goals for when my son goes to school (I'm home with him full time now)... my list of things I'd like to work on seems endless. Maybe the first thing I should work on is learning how to prioritize?
Anyway, I'm rambling (one more thing to work on ... focus!). Since you've been with SparkPeople longer, can you tell me what features you find most helpful? Or if anyone else has any tips to share, I'd really appreciate it.
Hi all. My name is Rosa Jaynes and I think this thread is just FABULOUS! It so fantastic to 'meet' all you wonderful Spark People and learn a little about everyone. I look forward to more of the 'general public' like myself to post. I am 39 years old, happily married over 16 years with 3 wonderful children. My husband and I work full time and are very busy with kids in sports, etc. We made a joint effort in January to get healthier and Sparkpeople has been helping me. My husband is doing great 'on his own'. [he does not care for keyboarding or reading message boards, etc so the program would not work for him. he doesn't seem to need to track his goals/progress either. Sheesh, huh!] Oh well. I am having my ups and downs but look forward to consistancy and building good habits. Thanks to everyone for these wonderful tools and all the great encouragement!
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