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ANDILH Posts: 1,357
12/27/13 10:37 A

Okay, the don't make me get a stool and slap you comment made my morning. I've had people say things like that to me in jest (I'm really tall). Some people are perpetual kidders who never mean harm or ill will while others use carefully crafted arrows to bring down anyone and everyone.
I think knowing who is a welcoming recipient of the kidding helps keep things playful. For example, I know I can trade barbs with 2 of my cousins all day long and at the end everyone's still happy, but with 2 other cousins it's no go. If they try to engage we back away since it will turn nasty on their part. They get mad at us, but it's just easier to not engage. I don't tease with my brother either because he turns to it mean pretty quickly. I think it's more about knowing the person, because no amount of laughter or "that was a joke" can make up for nasty comments when it's clear the comments weren't a joke.

RUKIDDINGME123 SparkPoints: (32,384)
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12/27/13 10:28 A

I love joking around like that but it has been my experience that some peoples ribbing is really just being mean on purpose under the guise of ribbing.

SHERYLDS Posts: 12,482
12/27/13 9:59 A

I can see how you would be a good natured ribber.
But keep in mind that others may not have that gift....so they get a little mean spirited, like a kid who wants to top someone else, and the playful fun gets nasty. Not everyone can handle losing a game...

ZZYYGGY3 SparkPoints: (39,921)
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12/27/13 9:49 A

Kjfitnessdude: I had to laugh at your post because that use to happen to me at work all the time. I had someone there who could dish it out but not take it. One time it got so bad I reported him to personell office for harrassment, and that shut him up for awhile. Although I don't have that problem with family, when others do start up my usual response that will always quiet them is "I love you too" They're not quite sure how to respond to that one.

JO88BAKO SparkPoints: (194,077)
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12/26/13 9:31 P

Saying mean things to others is not ok. Sad. Give them the look

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (38,534)
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12/26/13 9:20 P

If they can't take it they shouldn't dish it out. Basic bullying. let me insult you ha ha but don't you say anything back. What jerks.
Personally, the next time it happened I would just stare at them without saying a word, then shake my head and walk off. If they persist in popping off remarks, I would gently say something like "Oh, how cute. You are trying to be funny".

SHERYLDS Posts: 12,482
12/26/13 7:30 P

I define teasing as a verbal nudge on a subject the target is shy about. I define ribbing as bringing up a sensitive topic that isn't that serious. I define bullying as bringing up an issue that the target is definitely sensitive about and doing it in a way to intentionally demean and embarrass the target.
A lot of times I find that people who insist on attacking sensitive issues (but can't take it) are trying to 'level' the other person because the offending person wants to feel superior and have a better advantage. They are obnoxious because they get away with it. And they can't take it because, they 'know' deep down, they are inferior as a person.

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 12/26/2013 (21:33)
KJFITNESSDUDE Posts: 15,787
12/26/13 6:55 P

I am someone who likes to rib folks (in real life) but I have learned that not everyone is the same and what's ribbing to one person may be a malicious attack to another. I "get" that and so I try to be careful and not over do it or at all if I get the vibe that the person I'm ribbing is sensitive to the subject matter in which I'm ribbing, I am not a monster and really like people a lot but I don't want to stifle myself, I can't take myself too seriously or I'll just die.....no, really, I'd probably just fall right over if I was told I can't be myself anymore.

The point of all of this are some folks that I have encountered who "can't take it" but LOVE to dish it out are seriously screwed up, in my humble opinion ( IMHO). There are two family members who give it to me but good and we all laugh and when I stifle myself the one just goes for the throat but if joke back there's a quiet hush and I'm the bad guy. Okay, in my defense I grew in an urban neighborhood where you either defended yourself from verbal teasing or your school life was over. When I defend myself from teasing or ribbing I give it back in a tactful humorous way and not lashing out, I have learned to take ribbing, teasing to look like a good sport so no problems there about over kill when giving it back.

Here was the latest almost verbatim;
Them: hey you, I've had it up to here with you (but instead of motioning their hand to their neck they do it to their torso, I'm really short, lol)
Me: don't make me stand on a stool and slap you in the face (obviously making fun of myself being short)
Them: you better not hit me, I'll call the cops, I don't care who you are!

o_O!?

Later I had to apologize for my comment and then more ribbing by them later that night.....wtf!?

Before you mention how I'm the one who can't take it i assure you, I can.
emoticon



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