Hi Animal_Karma! Negative self talk can undermine your confidence quicker than anything, for me anyways. I have to consciously put a stop to negative self talk when I find myself going that way. Be good to yourself.
I would work on feeling positive/confident about yourself. I think a positive attitude is really more attractive to others than looking perfect. Work on developing friendships with all kinds of people... start doing more social activities and look for things to do that you are interested in like hobbies or joining a group on campus so you can meet and find common ground with people. Don't rush to date.
Dress the body you have now well. Wear clothes that fit- not too tight and not too loose. There are a lot of tips on the internet for identifying and dressing to flatter your particular body type. Play up your best features by choosing colors, styles of clothing or accessories that flatter you. Don't dress head to toe in black thinking it will make you look thinner. It will just make you look depressing. Be well groomed. Pay attention to your skin and hair.
This has nothing to do with weight, just my experience. I was a thin teenager and young adult, and did extremely well in high school. I let my anxiousness to be in a relationship derail me from academic goals (I did things that were harmful to my self respect, and my grades suffered the consequences). All of these things contributed to a weight issue later in life.
Although I was thin, I didn't fit in many other ways (went to school with kids that came from money, my family was poor). I urge you to be vigilant in your quest for love and happiness. You're already expressing that you don't feel you fit in because of weight. You're very young, and have oodles of time to accomplish your goals. Make a list of what is important, you may find dating gets in the way. But be wary of going overboard of making up for lost time when you do reach goal. As long as you're good to yourself, you'll be fine.
I can understand what you mean...it's hard to get out there when you feel less than completely comfortable in your own skin. I think the best way to overcome that is to open yourself up to meeting people in places you do feel comfortable (e.g., the bookstore in the section of books from your major, dog park if you love dogs, etc.). The more comfortable with yourself you are, the better you feel and the more attractive you become.
Also, just for the record, people are out there that are attracted to all sorts of body types. Personally, I've dated at my heaviest and my lightest weights; the only difference was what I wore (my comfort level). Many times it seems like the media only celebrates one look, but there is someone for you who will appreciate where you are now.
Have fun with it, good luck.
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A relationship is not based on what a person weighs ........at least, not a healthy relationship! Probably one of the best things you can do is rather than 'seeking' someone, why not join in with group activities - then you will be with people with at least SOME similar/same likes to form a platonic relationship from which dating relationship can form.
Recently, I have decided I want to start dating again. I am a senior in college and previously I have just thrown myself into my schooling - so not much time for dating. I do actually have one year left, so now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I want to put myself out there again. HOWEVER, I have gained a lot of weight since I last dated and I'm not feeling too confident in myself. I am wondering if others are having this problem too and if there are any suggestions about how to get yourself out there again.
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