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ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (194,270)
Fitness Minutes: (289,513)
Posts: 26,812
3/9/13 6:25 A


Welcome to Spark People !!

We are our own worst critics. Flaws we see in ourselves, no one else sees. I know you feel like that parts of your body could be a lot tighter, but don't compare yourself to the images you see in magazines. Take Dara Torres. That kind of body is not typical for a woman. I can't tell you how many hours a day (and how precise her diet is) to get that body.

The fact is, men have low body fat, women don't. In order for a woman to maintain her health, she has to carry a certain amount of body fat. So, you can't beat yourself up because you jiggle. Most women jiggle. It's okay to have body fat. In general, women should carry 20-29% body fat depending on age and fitness.

Take Raquel Welch. She was and still is considered a sex symbol. If you look at photos of her from the 60s, you can see cellulite. Back then, no one cared if a woman carried cellulite because it was considered natural. These days, it's considered a flaw. You shouldn't compare yourself to other women or to images you see on TV or in magazines. Most women don't have the bodies of adolescent boys with boobs.

Women come in many different shapes and sizes and should be celebrated accordingly.

I know this is hard, but you have to learn to love yourself AS IS. Sure, you could lose weight, but will you be happy ? This is where the happiness buck stops. If you're not happy with yourself now, you won't be if you lose. You'll just find something else to criticize.

That's why it's important to appreciate what your body CAN do instead of worrying about how it looks.


SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (240,429)
Fitness Minutes: (41,019)
Posts: 26,390
3/9/13 5:43 A

I would talk with your Dr about what has gone on in the past, altho' I am more than sure that he/she knows already. Ask for a referral to a Therapist who deals with Eating Disorders, because they will be able to help you deal with the issues that you face. Did you receive Therapy previously? Even if you did, it is not uncommon for former sufferers to require further in put a bit further down the track. You are aware how it crept up on you in the first place, so I would be inclined to beat it to the post this time and get in first!

I wish you well in reaching your goals and totally overcoming this.
Good luck,
Kris xx

SP_COACH_NANCY SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
3/8/13 9:13 P


Welcome to the SparkPeople family and thank you for sharing your story. There comes a time when you may have to seek professional help with your issues so that you can allow yourself to come to terms with being a healthy weight without the thoughts consuming you.

Coach Dean wrote one of the best articles I have read on this topic along with great references for help and guidance. I hope you will take the time to read the article and consider getting help.

I wish you well!

Coach Nancy

JOYCRN SparkPoints: (72,176)
Fitness Minutes: (85,449)
Posts: 558
3/8/13 9:07 P

I am sure there are lots of people on this website more qualified than I am to deal with your problem, so continue to reach out. Try to continue to focus on healthy behaviors, rather than the scale, and be grateful every day for what you have.

CREATIVITEAPOT SparkPoints: (1,377)
Fitness Minutes: (2,560)
Posts: 24
3/8/13 8:37 P

This is my first post here at SparkPeople because I'm new, but I've been aware of this website for several years and am impressed by the amount of support and camaraderie here in the message boards! And boy, am I in need of advice and insight. My story is a long one, so here goes:

I grew up a bit on the chubby side, ever-so-slightly overweight, and suffered low confidence and the like. I'm a high-achieving perfectionist, too, so it's probably no surprise that, in 2008, after graduating from high school, I became, at first unknowingly, anorexic. I'm not sure what my highest weight was exactly, but I'm estimating it was about 175 lbs., and I'm 5'10". Well, I started running, then restricting, then restricting some more, and by Nov. of that year, I was down to 128. However, that wasn't the end of it. And I must note that I never stopped eating completely. I ate three meals a day and snacks, but they must have been tiny. Honestly, I've no idea how I did it. Anyway, 1 year later, I reached my lowest weight at 117. Wake up call. I knew I needed to change. I'd lost my period. I developed reactive hypoglycemia. I was always cold. It hurt to sit down, etc. It was so scary to gain weight back, and my worst nightmare was, and is still, that I would gain all the weight back and then some, despite the fact that I ate healthily and was much more active than I had ever been as a child/teenager.

3 years later, my weight has crept up and crept up to around 140 lbs. I threw out my scale a long time ago. I am a yoga instructor and teach 6 hours a week. I workout regularly. I've been vegetarian/vegan since 2010 and eat whole foods. I've tracked calories now and again, and I eat anywhere between 2000-2500 calories on average, though I do very occasionally struggle with compulsive overeating and binge-eating. I have had an extremely stressful couple of years, including suddenly losing both of my parents within 6 months of each other, and I'm only 23, still bitterly grieving. Yikes, sometimes, I feel like a nutcase! There are a lot of components to my story.

Now, I know some of my weight gain has been muscle. I am boatloads stronger than ever before. However, I am really, really uncomfortable at this weight. I have become jiggly and soft in the lower abdomen, thighs, and behind. I feel like I've failed, and I am so ashamed of how I look, even though everyone tells me how amazing I look or how skinny. And sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I can believe them. I know, realistically, that I don't really need to lose weight--I still haven't had a period without the help of birth control--but I would like to really tone up these problem areas and lose inches. I'm afraid, though, that I'll need to keep a calorie diary and weigh myself regularly again, both of which are really triggering. And I guess, looking back, I know how I lost the weight--I basically slashed my carb intake dramatically and didn't consume any healthy fats whatsoever. Now, I eat 4-6 servings of carbs daily and eat 3-4 servings of healthy fats. I eat loads of fiber and protein.

I guess, I'm in search of advice from anyone who has lost weight and then gained some. Also, for people who have recovered from an eating disorder, how does one move on healthily and then re-tackle weight/eating issues from a healthier perspective from before? I want to know that I CAN positively change my body to something I'm happier with, within reason. I'm not aiming to be a size 0, that's for sure. I just want to trust that I'm not going to continue gaining and find myself helplessly back to the unhappy chubby girl I was, even though I'm probably more miserable now than I was then, ha! The bitter irony!

I just need support in general. I'm so tired of this consuming my life, and I want to feel like I'm in a bit more positive control of my destiny, physical or otherwise. Whatever words of wisdom you could offer would be so much appreciated! And I probably missed some details in that long account, so if you have any questions to clarify anything, don't hesitate to ask. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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