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BABYBARNEY SparkPoints: (198,196)
Fitness Minutes: (206,496)
Posts: 11,554
11/12/12 3:51 P

Wow, Kris you are quick,

I set up my shared food & fitness tracker for any peaks. i am 5feet, 6 inches. My GP knows about the butterbir. I was on an ASA daily regiment up until Sept. when i started the butterbir. Because of the feverfew in it...I had to get off blood thinners so I stopped my aspirins. According to my doc this am butterbir isn't proven but ASA is in migraine prevention...what I've read is that there could be an interaction issue between ASA & Paxil so I guess If i was going to take it, it's good I'm not still taking the doc didn't seem concerned. My appt was less than 10 minutes, he just prescribed the drug & then said he would be in touch regarding a psychiatrist referral & he wanted to see me back in 2 weeks.

Still plan to wait on trying the Paxil, but I've had decent sleep for me & plan my good mood boosting hubby has gone to fill the prescription...I will see what my anxiety level is as my day, night & week goes on. Because I need to drive to work about 40kms. each way as well as my nightly schedule I don't plan to try anything until I'm off for my weekend. Then I will take it before bed in the am. if i decide. I've been reading others views on it all, & its so good to hear how others have faced this issue...It feels good not to be alone with this. Thank you for sending me the sparkteam link that deals with depression. Tomorrow is my regular WI day & blogging day...I may tune into that team, perhaps joining, can't hurt right???

Thanks for being so open minded, & really LISTENING,

Again, you're a great sparkin buddy,

Sandi emoticon

Edited by: BABYBARNEY at: 11/12/2012 (15:53)
SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (246,790)
Fitness Minutes: (41,336)
Posts: 26,775
11/12/12 3:07 P

Hi Sandi - thanks for the update.

Where it comes to the medication, you will read side-effects (and some of them quite nasty) with almost any medication that you take. There is a legal requirement to provide this information even if only a very tiny POINT % of users have this reaction. It is to cover the manufacturers' butts. It is really good to know, tho' and can make us more vigilant in paying attention to our body. As I mentioned previously, hubby and I have been a few different ones, with NO side effects, and so too have many others. Unfortunately, with most things it is a case of we won't know if we don't try. It COULD be that the medication will have only positive effects on YOUR mind/body.

You are taking butterbir herb - did you mention this to your Dr? If not, it would pay to make contact to see if they are compatible, and also check with your Pharmacist. They are able to tell you if there is any polypharmacy going on. You may find, tho', that with Paxil or any other psych. med, your headaches will diminish considerably, and the same with Therapy.

Talk Therapy can certainly be one of the biggest friends you will have! It can release a lot of tension and give you a new perspective on life in general - as well as how to deal with those bad stressors.

Congratulations on the huge success you have had with your weight-loss :-) It is quite likely that the further reduction could be due to excess stress. How tall are you, because your weight is quite low for an average height person? I went to have a peek at your Nutrition Tracker but it isn't on public show. You can edit your SparkPage so that it will show - just make sure that you save your changes before you go out of edit mode.

I hope that you first night back at work was NOT stressful and that you got through it o.k.!

BIG hugs,

BABYBARNEY SparkPoints: (198,196)
Fitness Minutes: (206,496)
Posts: 11,554
11/12/12 2:41 P

Hi Kris,
Words can't express my thanks to you for taking the time & effort to respond to my blog. I got 5 hrs. sleep last night...went to my GP appt. this am. Don't know what I feel right now...still confusion & being info overwhelmed. My doc listened as I partially read my post, stopped me & said to focus on my issue he wanted to try me on Paxil & asked if I would agree to see a psychiatrist. I took the prescription & told him I would think about it. I came home & went to bed & slept 4 hours waking at 1. I feel OK right now...I've been reading all I can about Paxil & am still unsure if I will get the prescription filled. The side effects, interaction with my butterbir herb for my migraines give me a gut feeling to try to go without. I feel alot better after venting or releasing my feelings so maybe talk therapy is in my future???

Anyway, I am due today for a good 90 minute workout so my treadmill will get me feeling great, like usual as well as I will try to do a DVD to turn on the sweat...yes exercise is definitely an upper for me.

The cold weather here now is stopping me from my regular outdoor neighbourhood walks which is why I do the treadmill. I also go to aquafit classes but the pool has been out of commission for 1 month now. It is part of a physiotherapy program i took part in before & after my knee surgery...I had a meniscus tear repaired last year.

One other health concern I didn't mention was that i started spark in Nov. 2010 to lose weight & stay healthy & fit. I have been successful in working a program for me to lose 75 lbs. as of this am. I began at 197 & as of this am. I was 122. My goal was to reach 130 initially but have been successfully maintaining for a few months at 125. My 3 lb drop this past week must be due to my anxiety , migraines & food changes. If you go to my sparkpage you will see i am a regular tracker both in food & fitness & stay on top of most of my body functions. Physically I feel successful but mentally it is a work in progress. I don't want to lose the gain or control & progress I have made...MY FITBIT IS MY BEST FRIEND..anyway,

Just wanted to thank you again & update you on my status...

It's my 1st night back to work since everthing happened last Wed. Night so I definitely need my mood raising workout,

Thanks again,
Sandi emoticon

BABYBARNEY SparkPoints: (198,196)
Fitness Minutes: (206,496)
Posts: 11,554
11/11/12 11:36 P

Thank you for listening & responding to my negative rant, Crystal!!! I should be in bed since my GP appt. is 8 am..but I took some of your advice & was researching the Whistleblowers Organizationalthough here in Ontario, Canada it has been met with sceptical success. It did lead me to some articles & authors on workplace bullying & mobbing...Brought back some facts & ideas I hadn't remembered in awhile.

What is it they say, Knowledge is power. One thing I have sure found to be true is that large companies don't like it known that this is actually occurring. I've been dismissed by them in more ways than 1, sometimes even questioning myself...(example being some of tonite's rant)

You are so right on the exercise factor relieving stress. You may find my issue abit puzzling but I'm also afraid to get obsessive with exercise...I love how I feel when the endorphins start pounding...a real orgasmic high...but because of my present weight, & calorie intake i want to keep my exercise balanced. My next stress reliever I tried today was my music shuffle.

The best smile I got was watching Psy...Korean musician on the Ellen Degeneres show doing his universal hit dance "Gangnam style". I even tried a few of his the blood pumping & me laughing..I guess I'll have to start visualizing this when I feel so dreadful.

Anyway, thanks for being there, it has stopped me from thinking about everything I'm worried least for abit!!!

Sandi emoticon emoticon

SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (246,790)
Fitness Minutes: (41,336)
Posts: 26,775
11/11/12 11:35 P

Hi Sandi - I really feel for you!

I can tell you first and foremost is that you are NOT nuts! I have suffered severe Depression in the past and know what it is like and what it can do to you. Anxiety issues fall under the umbrella of Depression. I have also had intensive Therapy with a Psychologist. They can be a marvelous health provider. You would be given relaxation techniques, and ways of dealing with your stressors, and other emotional issues that you have. It is quite likely that learning relaxation techniques will reduce your headaches, too. Often when we are stressed we tend to clench our jaw, or grind out teeth, or clench our muscles - particularly around the neck/shoulders, and this can cause quite a bit of pain including headaches. I can speak from experience that when I was able to relax more, a lot of the headaches went.

Getting some exercise can help considerably. Going for walks outside help a lot, and also Yoga is very beneficial for mind relaxation.

There are teams on SP which can help support you re the stress/anxiety - one is Dealing with Depression. If you aren't a member you are more than welcome to check it out by going through my link at the bottom of my signature.

I suggest that you print off your post and give it to your Dr to read. That way you won't have to try to remember what to say, and your Dr can take it from there.

I can understand your fears about Psych. Meds, but can honestly say that both my hubby and I have been on quite a few different ones, and neither of us have had any negative reaction to them - not being left sluggish, ravenous or putting on weight. I DO acknowledge that some people do have issues with them, but they generally wear off after a few weeks, or even time of the day or the dose can make a huge difference. A Psychiatrist is a highly qualified Dr with extensive experience in issues such as yours, and you would be closely monitored. I would far rather medication if needed, than none and have my mental health get worse.

Where it comes to the cost, there are ways and means of getting around this. Some Mental Health Providers work on sliding scales, and there are even ways of getting medication for free - just talk with your Dr if this is an option, or you can message me and I will give you a few ideas, and some links.

As far as your work situation is concerned, I would imagine that where you live you have legal rights just as we have in NZ - and one of them is the legal right to an emotionally and physically safe work place. I will also say that IF your employers refuse to help sort the situation satisfactorily, you would be better off out of there because it sounds like it is a toxic environment for your health. Your health is far more important!

Remember that we are here for you! Let us know how you get on at your Dr appointment.
Take care and good luck,

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 11/11/2012 (23:41)
KAKONOLADY SparkPoints: (21,000)
Fitness Minutes: (26,717)
Posts: 1,169
11/11/12 9:32 P


emoticon emoticon --you are not alone-this economy has made working for alot of us a living hell sometimes... It seems everywhere you look businesses are understaffed and those working are left making up all that extra work--I have a federal GS position and it is the same!! Work morale is low and no one seems happy!!! I got back from 7 weeks maternity leave which let me feel a little rested but I have spent months and months miserable in the past!! I have Generalized anxiety/panic disorder w/ Major Depression!! Sometimes I break down at work and try my best to hide it so that it won't reflect badly !!I am doing ok for now at work but sometimes I wish I could just walk out the door and never go back!!!!!!!!- EXERCISE has been my savior!! I do it in the morning before work and at lunch (we have a gym at work)...Prayer can help too ---I just want you to know that you are not alone!! Have you heard of WHistleblowers Act??? check it out --not fare for you to be ignored or retaliated against by superiors--it is illegal!!! Best wishes-Crystal

BABYBARNEY SparkPoints: (198,196)
Fitness Minutes: (206,496)
Posts: 11,554
11/11/12 6:56 P

I am so confused I don't know which way to turn!

I have had extreme anxiety at resulted in being written up for expressing my opinion about being overworked, unappreciated, doing co-worker's responsibilities just so I can keep my head above water doing my own. A couple of these individuals i have had bullying episodes with in the past. It was brought to managements attention who denied & ignored WRITTEN as well as verbal evidence...until I promised to go to authorities due to my legal rights. This time last week, 3 fellow associates claimed I was rude to them, this was a reason for being pulled into the office. I was grilled by 2 dept. supervisor's necessary because my boss is male & I am female. The end result was through my anxiety & upset, I spilled my guts & was told I don't ask for help often enough. When I responded that whenever I have asked, I have been denied, I was told that there was more than myself to be considered during my shift. (I work overnights) I admit I was emotionally angry & am very direct verbally.
I left feeling emotionally exhausted & physically drained. (my job is such, normally all the physicality is great for my movement & exercise) I haven't been sleeping well enough to feel less than drained...I work hard to get an average of 5 hours per working weekday shift & always catchup on the weekend. Last Wed. night I went to work with 3.25 hours of sleep. I know you will all encourage me to sleep longer...easier said than the daytime (when I sleep) my neighbour is building a shed & hammering all day long, every Sunny day we get.
It makes me pray for rain....which is my next dilemma...I suffer from migraines & one of my triggers is weather related...
Sure enough, I spent most of Thurs., Fri., & Sat. am sedated with migraine medication to get through them. I'm not really sure it wasn't viral since I had a gut ache partially through Fri & a flu symptom is headaches...flu virus season has begun. (no other symptoms though)
My hubby called our GP for an appointment for me for tomorrow...originally to discuss my work anxiety but now I don't know even what to tell him. I get such overwhelming feelings of upset, I don't think I can get him to understand what i'm experiencing...Thurs. am while explaining it to my husband I had a panic attack...the last 2 I had were during relating the bullying experiences through formal work complaints.

I have had 2 episodes of bullying in 2 different work leaving me with flashbacks of receiving a written death threat. I took it to the authorities & because I didn't witness it being completed by the perpetrator who was bullying me, I was told to quit my job & not look back. After much anguish, the result was just that. At that point, my GP wrote that I had a social disorder & I was to take medical leave, which I did at the time happily. I was still working part-time at my present job regardless of this. . Problem was, I LOVED that job & the same thing happened at my present job...this time I am working full time, for almost 7 years & don't want to give it up. What gave me some peace & break from the negative aspect of the stress was that I was on a leave of absence last Oct. when I had knee surgery., & after my recovery period of 6 weeks, I went back to work & tried to pretend it was brand new. That worked for a while, now I feel that there is no way out. I love the job itself but everything surrounding it has changed where instead of fellow associate training to complete their roles,it is now expected that I do the corrections needed for their jobs in order to fulfill my own. I get no support from my bosses, in fact, the opposite is true. I have been labeled so many titles, all negative in nature regarding professionalism. Ironically, I've also been praised & won awards for my work value. Problem is they say my attitude & personality SUCK!@!! This can threaten my job!!!
When i think about how to explain this to my GP tomorrow, I feel like I will vomit. I will say one great thing...I am not emotionally EATING my feelings right now...but maybe I should appetite, I am forcing myself to get my weight as of my last WI last Tues. was right on my weekly target. i am maintaining & hope that all this turmoil won't affect it. I eat well, if I can & am getting my 1800-2000 calories in each day...or at least try to.
Here's the kicker, my mind has been going to places the last few days which has me wondering if there is something mentally wrong with my half-sister has suggested that my mother was bipolar, my niece (on maternal side has been diagnosed bipolar) & my daughter revealed to us last April that she was diagnosed a few years ago with
BPD (borderline personality disorder) She is in intensive therapy & was recently let go from her job (in the healthcare field) because of it's present severity. She sent me info to explain the disorder...I'm terrified for her...she has had previous eating disorders & harming herself...she was a cutter...I saw her in Oct. where there were no signs...but she lives alone & has suffered several pet deaths in the last year...she tells me she suffers from an extreme fear of abandonment & I've tried to help her but the characteristics, diagnosis & treatment & understanding from family is so misunderstood & not well known that I don't know how to help her. As well after reading many aspects about this, that she sent me, I'm not a hundred per cent that she didn't inherit this from me...or at least some aspects of it...
It is also closely related to a mental disorder that my husband was diagnosed with about 20 years you see she has 2x the chance if we both carry this mental disorder gene or favourable condition she is cursed with it, for sure. I am happy she is being treated, although I worry about all her medications & the side effects for her future. My husband has responded well with minimal medication & a change in a very stressful career to a much less stressful job
So here I am left with no answers, just fear about so many different things...I've never been to a psychologist although it was suggested to me a couple of times at work (by HR people) that I seem stressed out, need to learn how to manage stress, perhaps talk to someone were their words .I have seen what therapy did regarding my husband, as well as medications over a 5 year period that drugged him into zombie status. (all prescribed by various psychiatrists) He hates them to this day. I've witnessed hospitalizations, the result of anxiety, & many other symptoms, some of which are characteristic of what I've read. I fear i will jeopardize my daughter's professional career by telling my GP this info..since she is in the healthcare field too...I don't think she would forgive me for well I couldn't forgive myself.

I'm sure by now you are all thinking she is nuts...she sure needs help...but I'm so scared...& now the waterworks are starting...if I see my doc tomorrow he may take me off my job for longer than they will accept, I react so sensitively to an estrogen cream landed me in the hospital on a cardiac monitor...I had 2 possible TIA's at the time of severe migraines...although brain damage was ruled negative by the neurologist & my MRI's. Penicillin when i was a teenager resulted in paralysis from the waist down for a terrifying 2 day period. So here are all my fears...losing my job, seeing a psychologist for a lengthy costly period, seeing a psychiatrist who prescribes various medications that leave me a zombie...gaining back all the weight I've worked so hard to remove...finally feeling fit enough physically to lenthen my lifetime...fear of dying...maybe since I watched my mother linger for 3 years with cancer of the last memory was her machine voice since her voicebox had been removed. Fear of getting cancer of any sort or fear of immobility...came close to being partially bedridden before my knee surgery.

Did I mention that I would be number 3 since October to be made jobless...My daughter, & step-sister both. Also my husband's company is in the process of possibly changing their contract with his job site which would put him out of a job, to be decided in Nov or Dec. for a change for the New Year....

And last of all., we have booked a trip for our vacation time in Feb. which is due for payment on Nov. 27th...are you feeling my pressure yet???

I'm so sorry that you decided to read this post...there is not much positive I can feel from it...actually between ALL my different feelings of being overwhelmed I am really NUMB!!!

Just as my characteristics say, my next step is to dissassociate...for me that's to pretend it isn't happening to me. Thanks for letting me blurt it out to someone!


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