Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,111 1/5/10 5:16 P
Well, it wasn't real inflammatory, I just thought I posted something inspirational and it was taken as a jab by some (inspirational by most). Mostly I just wanted to be certain I wasn't walking into a she-woman man hater's club. ... know your audience, as they say.
I think I probably just caught a couple of people having a bad day. But I'll stick to the man cave for awhile.
I can only assume you naturally meant a low cal/low carb BEER! I say post what you want, if it offends any females theydon't have to read or post here. And this is a female posting this! I like to read the male posts because sometimes woman tend to "kick a dead horse" and men often discuss topics woman avoid. I mean, (gasp) I will probably get in trouble here, but how many times can you complain about the same thing before its just time to move on?
Being fairly new here I felt the need to chime in. One must remember on posts, you cannot see the facial reaction or hear the voice inflection on a post. While you may be genuine in your post people see writing differently. It also depends on their mood at the time they read it. I have told this to my college age daughters so many times over texts. You can't see, hear or feel the response. Tone is so important in e-mail or posting. So if you are going to write it, read it over and over to make sure they do not take offense. If you think it is going to be offensive I guarantee it will be taken that way. Besides, with guys after we piss each other off we can have a beer and forget about it! (OK, I am going to get hit for that one)!
if I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please... with sugar on top. be nice to the ladies cuz the ladies are scary.
I definitely get the feeling that I can't be as frank as I want to be in some of the other message boards without hurting someone else's feelings. The last thing I want to do is discourage someone from using a valuable tool to help them achieve a healthier lifestyle. The one time I did post something innocuous, I got a couple curt emails for intruding.
I don't mind the ladies, but the times that I have a question on 'sparking', I get less useful answers from the females because they are so different on fitness outlooks and outcomes.
Fitness Minutes: (23,125)
2,784 12/26/09 9:25 A
I've only been on Spark for about three months, but one thing I have observed as I read blogs and message board posts, I can almost always determine if a post was written by a man or woman, without checking their SparkPage. The point is men and women have fundamentally different thought processes that we guys would be better off to never forget, and certainly never ignore.
So far, I have not encountered any hostile reactions from any of the ladies. Of course, that could just be a matter of luck. Still, there were some posts I decided not to weigh in on because it just didn't seem like territory a guy should try to tread in.
I think the majority of the women on the site are open to correspondence with guys, provided we don't get too "guy-ish!"
All that being said, I am still glad there are a few places where I can talk just to the guys.
just starting to post but I havent ran into anything yet. However, my wife is a sensitive person about her progt is ress in here so I am sure it carry on with some of the ther ladies. I try to watch what the posts are about and just be encouraging more than anything.
Wow, a couple of things from my perspective: 1.) Never chime in on a woman's post about losing weight. Why? because we are SO different in body chemistry and the likes that what works for us DOES NOT WORK FOR THEM!!! For me; if I DO repond I always make the statement starting like this.."I don't know what to tell you but here';s what I did..." or something P.C. like that.
2.) Most women are sensitive and message boards (texts, e-mails, etc...) are very hard to pick up nuances or tone in written words. Sarcasm is definitely very hard to pick up and sometimes I have to say at the the end of my statement that I was being sarcastic otherwise someone might think I really meant what I said which has landed me in hot water many times.
3.) Unless you have a private team and accept men only the WOMEN will always read men's posts, in fact, they somehow KNOW where we post and search out our posts and sometimes lurk on our spark pages. You don't believe me? The next time you edit your spark page check out at the bottom how many times your page has been viewed, it's way more than you think. And who do you think is checking out your page? men? Nope. THEY are! LOL!
I have a PUBLIC team called "Men of a Certain Age", I just started it a few weeks ago, you could join and we could there talk more man stuff because HERE there are a lot of women checking up on us......ZOIKS!
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,111 12/21/09 6:07 P
Good advice guys, but I didn't think I was necessarily posting anything controversial, but no biggie. Didn't know if it was guys in general or just me (wouldn't be the first time it was just me .. ha!).
I usually come off as direct, maybe with a bit of an edge, probably like most guys. I probably need to stay stay out of that water or tread VERY lightly :)
I think you need to be aware of the tone of the conversation you are entering. If it is about what a woman may feel are her personal struggles with weight, acceptance, husband/boyfriend issues, etc. than tread lightly because you may touch a nerve as a member of the opposite sex. Woman in general tend to be more conversational (have you seen some of the blogs!) while we men tend to be more blunt which may cause problems as well. But I think if you don't come off as creepy or condescending, you should be okay in most forums.
I don't know if it's because I intuitively expect not to be met with open arms or what, but right from the moment I started posting on the boards, I've kept it within the Guy's Lounge whenever it has anything to do with progress or advice or anything like that.
Girls are scary
I am also EXTREMELY conscious of the fact that I'm using SP to lose 20lbs max, and then become an efficient biological machine (I hope to be able to consider myself an athlete by the end of 2010) while others are at a different point in the journey to health and fitness. I'm thankful that the right influences happened to come together to inspire me to be fit and healthy before my weight and health became a serious problem. I know others aren't as fortunate, and that simple difference might breed a considerable amount of contempt.
Sorry if that feels a bit non sequiter, but I think many people resent advice or support from people who aren't in the same place as them, or may never have been in that place. And really, as men, we can't ever KNOW what it's like to be a woman who is on a path to health and fitness, even if we're on that same path.
Edited by: THEBUCKET at: 12/21/2009 (14:33)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,111 12/19/09 2:04 P
Thanks Bruce, this is probably the case. Don't get me wrong, the responses are overwhelmingly positive and even when I got torched, a number came to my rescue. Just feel a bit more comfortable on this side.
I have to pick-and-choose the topics I participate. There are a lot of great people on this site, both men and women. I have recieved lots of support. mostly from women. I have many good SparkFriends, mostly women.
There are also some people on this site that are very sensitive or in a place that is very difficult for them.
I always approach reponding to a person that is in distress with caution. But sometimes a person will pick up on something I have written and take offense.
I once foolishly posted my 5K time on a team forum that catered to begining runners. I got flammed! The general team topics were mostly support and encouragment for people that had just discovered running.
I learned a valuable lesson -- always understand what the forum is about prior to posting.
I'm brand new here, so I haven't actually seen any response to any post I've made yet. But I'm glad there's a guys area. Sometimes it's just good to talk with some other guys.
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,111 12/18/09 12:53 P
Guys, we're severely outnumbered on this site overall. I don't have a problem with this, but I do find that my posts outside of the guy's lounge are met with a bit more attitude than posts back in the "safe zone". Has anyone else noticed this or am I just an aggravating fella?
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