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GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
11/17/12 12:33 P

You weigh 155???? Do these people have cactuses in their eyeballs? There is nothing fat about you! You have to look like a foreign war prison camp survior to be an acceptable weight, or something?

It's like this. WHO the eff are these people to you??? NO ONE. 155 and they're calling you fat??? I can't get over that. I weigh a little under 300 and in my city, just ONE time has an ignorant brickhead shouted fat c*** at me as they drove by. Just once. Someone I didn't know. I laughed. Know why? Because they don't know me. For all they know, I used to weight 982 pounds or something. I didn't, but they're stupid, so...eff em. They don't control my emotions.
As far as children go...They apparently have no home training. Chalk it up to bad parenting. I will tell a child quick that they are dead wrong for making a comment about my weight. It happened either last year or a couple years ago in line at a grocery store. His mother JUMPED TO HIS DEFENSE and said that he said something he didn't say. I looked at her dead in the face and said, "How the EFF would you know what he said. You were too busy talking to be listening to your child. That is NOT want he said. He said _______. That's what he said." Then she further went on to say that "Oh well, he's only five." My son who was 4 or 5 knew better than to say out of the way stuff to adults, and I told her so. She was mad, but you know what? She should have controlled her damn child.

The difference is...I was over 300lbs when that happened. I WAS and am actually FAT. YOU are not. Forget those people. Your opinion about yourself has to change. LOOK at old pictures of you and have new pictures taken so you can see the difference. YOU KNOW you worked hard, and you HAVE to know you look good. Buy yourself a new outfit if you can-something that really accentuates your new shape. Point out at least one thing you love about your body every day. Give yourself positive verbal reinforcement so IF some ignorant child or ignorant childish adult makes an off the wall comment, you can put them in their place with confidence.

STRANGER70127 Posts: 403
11/17/12 12:05 P

I'd hate to see what karma is going to bring them. emoticon If the laws of sowing and reaping apply, then they are going to become the very thing that they accused you of being. I wouldn't want to be them, sis. emoticon

MMEEAAGGX3 SparkPoints: (1,281)
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Posts: 1,049
10/22/12 12:56 A

UM you are NOT even big are you kidding me?! People are RIDICULOUS! I don't know where you live but they must not know what overweight looks like because 155 is NOT big at all! Not that it's ever right to say that to ANYONE big or not, but I can't believe it's even happened to you, that's crazy! I have a good friend who is 400+ pounds, and she gets a lot of greif for it when we go out...I just want to smack people!! Do they have no conscience?!! Makes you realize what a scary world we live in when people dont care at ALL about other's feelings!!

But honey, I have been 260 pounds, and now I'm tiny...No matter what your size is or what you look like, people will always have somethign negative to say!! LOVE yourself no matter what. I used to be called a fat biotch (For lack of better words), lazy, gross, huge, etc. Now I'm called anorexic, stuck up, snotty, b*tchy, waif like...EVERYONE will always talk! All you can do is embrace that you love yourself and that you will never be a disgusting human being like they are. :)

Edited by: MMEEAAGGX3 at: 10/22/2012 (01:00)
SUSANBEAMON Posts: 3,863
10/22/12 12:31 A

At 155 people are calling you Fatso? They are not right in their heads. I'm 240 right now (gained a little during rehab), and I must live in a politer part of the country, because I don't hear any of that. With my cane I get "Do you need help?" "Let me hold this door open for you." Maybe you need to move to Colorado.

TACDGB Posts: 6,132
10/22/12 12:20 A

so sorry that you had to go through that. people can be so awful. It may not be about your weight at all. I am 2 lbs. to my goal and in the last 2 months I was walking home and had 2 kids YELL something at me. But with my earbuds in and my music on I could not hear what they said. I knew that they were yelling at me as they looked straight at me and screamed. Just be the bigger person and walk on when they do that........act like you didn't even hear them. remind yourself how far you have come. YOU can do this.......

KES1089 SparkPoints: (897)
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Posts: 45
10/21/12 10:04 P

Firstly, congratulations on how far you have come for yourself! You have done a wonderful and amazing job!

Secondly, NEVER EVER EVER let ANYONE make you their victim. You are strong. You have already waged a war with yourself and won. I come from a family of strong war warriors and they have always taught me to never let anyone victimize me. When they say mean things to you just use it. Use those words to make your skin thicker and you heart a little stronger. You are beautiful. There is no one in the world exactly like you, and obviously you're a fighter for making it this far. When they hurt you just remember that they don't know you and you don't know them. Use their words for your strength and either pray or meditate or feel for them to become strong like you so they won't hurt others to build their own self esteem.

Keep your head up!!

IVYLASS SparkPoints: (123,578)
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Posts: 6,568
10/21/12 9:37 P

Honey, you need to know, them calling you names says more about THEM than you. You KNOW what you've accomplished. Why are you giving such small, petty twits power over you? Be proud of your success! Hold your head high! You're worked hard to get where you are! Why let them win by giving up? Remember, you will not always be fat, but they will always be noxious twerps.

We are proud of you. Surely that means more to you than the mindless nastiness of strangers?

Edited by: IVYLASS at: 10/21/2012 (21:39)
JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (240,847)
Fitness Minutes: (208,360)
Posts: 7,358
10/21/12 9:12 P

Those are people with no class and absolutely no dignity.

DWROBERGE SparkPoints: (347,242)
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Posts: 89,236
10/21/12 9:03 P

idiots!

OBIESMOM2 SparkPoints: (61,851)
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Posts: 4,472
10/21/12 7:30 P

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
focus on what YOU can control. You'll never be able to change what others say or how they act. You CAN choose how you will react though. When you are feeling really feisty, ask them, "is it something I did, or are you just having a bad day?"
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

MOM2ACAT SparkPoints: (167,907)
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Posts: 27,922
10/21/12 5:05 P

I don't really have anything to add to the good advice the other members have given you, but I just wanted you to know I care. My heart goes out to you; I was a victim of bullying when I was school, but it doesn't matter how old you are, words can still hurt! emoticon

The adults should know better, and the children too, but I am betting those children learned that behavior from their parents.

JHISEROTE SparkPoints: (8,631)
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Posts: 207
10/21/12 4:41 P

Choose the high road! Let those people make a fool of themselves by acting in such a disgusting manner! They are the ones who look pathetic, not you! Just hold your head up high, ignore them and move on. Their behavior is a reflection of themselves! Don't even react to their insults. Some people are only looking for a reaction because they crave the drama...just act like you didn't even hear them! Just keep going...

Congratulations on your weight loss! It took a lot of hard work, courage, determination and loving yourself to get that far! You are worth the effort!!!


ANARIE Posts: 12,488
10/21/12 3:10 P

There are jerks who say that as their default insult. I've heard that insult directed at women who weigh 100 pounds. It's just a sign of their limited intelligence and vocabulary; it has nothing to do with you. If they don't run off, look at them and say, "You must have a really small you-know-what if you have to scream insults at strangers to make yourself feel like a man."

With children, on the other hand, I think you should take a second to correct them. Just say, "That was a very rude thing to say. It reflects poorly on you, your upbringing, and your parents. I'm sure your parents and teachers would be very ashamed of you if they heard that, and I hope you're mature enough to be ashamed of yourself." Shame is a useful thing, and way too many parents are afraid their kids will never recover if someone makes them ashamed. But it's how you develop a conscience! Kids need to know that hurting someone's feelings is a bad thing and they should feel bad about it. (And if you say, "I hope you're mature enough to be ashamed," they can't just say, "no, I'm not" without looking stupid.)

Edited by: ANARIE at: 10/21/2012 (15:12)
NETTI42 SparkPoints: (12,163)
Fitness Minutes: (681)
Posts: 333
10/21/12 2:48 P

You know that those idiots opened their mouth because of their stupidity, not your weight or anything else. They just need to put others down in order to feel good themselves. So ignore them and know that you are better than them (most folks I know don't have the ability to stick with their healthy diet long enough to lose 75 lbs.). Keep up the good work!!



emoticon

07SOJO Posts: 1,648
10/21/12 2:19 P

People are rude and stupid! It's awesome that you've lost 75 pounds! Don't you realize what a GREAT accomplishment that is? You need to focus on that. Ignore the rudeness. I know it hurts but you can't let others dictate how you feel. You decide and you choose what's best for you. You can do this and you deserve to keep moving forward!

SPOOKY_GIRL13 SparkPoints: (11,024)
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Posts: 274
10/21/12 2:15 P

Keep your chin up! -75lbs is a major achievement! People being stupid and rude is no reason to ignore your accomplishments; you need to show them (and yourself) that you can be stronger than that.

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CANDIK48 SparkPoints: (17,721)
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Posts: 1,025
10/21/12 1:53 P

Those (insert expletive here!) are just plain rude and ugly and they absolutely need to be spanked! emoticon Look everyone has an opinion and a sphincter and sometimes, that's the orifice their opinion comes out of. Consider the origin and use their offerings to feed your garden. Know what I mean? (My plants always did great with manure!)

Who are they to define you? No one!! That's who. I once heard a saying that goes something like this: For those who care, it doesn't matter, for those who don't matter, who cares? Ok, I do know that it doesn't go exactly like that but hey, it works for this right? People don't have the power to hurt us unless we allow it. I know, easier said than done especially because we all like unsolicited confirmation of our value or compliments. (It's like candy for our pride and sometimes it works better than any pep talk we can give ourselves.) But at the end of the day, all of us are left with only ourselves so it's our own opinion of us that really matters. Period. No one else lives in our minds and bodies but us. (Unless we're like Sybil! Oops did I type that out loud?)

Don't let them get you down or push you down the slide! You have come too far and made such tremendous progress for their little minds and words to make a dent. Which, by the way is FANTASTIC!!! I am looking forward to the day when I can say I've done what you have!! Chances are those are the kinds of idiots who need to climb on the misery of others so they can get above the fertilizer they heap into their own lives. Don't let them get a head up on you!!!!! Smile and realize that if they knew the secret of your success to date, they'd probably be saying something else out of jealousy! (Insert expletive here) are like that.

I_HEART_MY_FAM Posts: 1,809
10/21/12 1:19 P

Omgosh I want to cry for you too. That is totally unacceptable behavior, but you must ignore it to the best of your ability. I am so sorry, but the people who said those nasty things to you are having their own insecurities going on because happy, confident people do not treat others that way.It is still totally wrong! I am so sorry!

SPACEBOT1 SparkPoints: (25,521)
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Posts: 969
10/21/12 12:07 P

Thank you all very much foryour kind words. It really did help. I have had a big cry and a cup of tea and thought about what you've said and now I feel better and have decided to stick to my meal plan instead of ordering a pizza and cookies. That would just make me feel worse, not better, I know that. It's probably always going to be my first instinct to turn to food when I'm upset.

I think I'll have another cup of tea.



ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,521
10/21/12 11:59 A

You have accomplished so much! You must look fantastic. I know its hard but don't let those people take your power. Often times we have no control over the cruelty of others, but we can control how we respond to them. Some people are just pathetic, lonely, and mean. You on the other hand have taken charge of your life and accomplished something that others cannot fathom. Hold your head up high. You are the example to follow.

ILMEL1957 Posts: 2,490
10/21/12 11:53 A

I can understand why you would want to eat everything in sight when you feel bad, but please dont! From your description, you don't seem to be that overweight. You've achieved so much by losing as much as you have already. That takes hard work and dedication. My sister weighs over 300 pounds and she hates going outside. I'm sure people have made rude remarks to her, as well.

I suppose you will find those type of people anywhere, and I would say to just ignore them. But that isn't very comforting, is it? Please hold your head high and know that you are heading in the right direction.

You have friends here that care!! emoticon

ARUSHING2 SparkPoints: (26,830)
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Posts: 720
10/21/12 11:49 A


You know as well as anyone else, myself included, that some people are not worth hearing their words, nor listening to, nor taking to heart.

I take to my mind and my heart only the words, thoughts and deeds of those folk that I admire, or that I respect, or that I love. I'd hazzard to suppose that you have no admiration, no repect, nor any love for the people that were disrespectful, mean, cruel towards you.

Those people do not represent the Race of Human nor the Humane. Put that garbage down the disposal, or flush that "stuff" down the toilet.

Please do not stoop to giving them credit for discouraging you with your self-improvement and conditioning program.

They haven't the power to force you to give up or quit . . . only YOU have the power and the control over your life and your goals.

Truck on . . . stop mulling, raking over and smelling the "stuff" . . . you have the power and the time to have a great weekend yet ! ! !

RACEWIFE Posts: 733
10/21/12 11:48 A

Wow! 75lbs.! That in itself is an incredible accomplishment. At 150 lbs. you must look great no matter what height you are. Many children today have not been taught respect. For anything. And the world is full of angry people, especially in this economy. That's probably all it was. People with no respect for anything or anyone. Don't take it personally. You've done a fantastic job working on yourself for the past few years. Please don't let some stranger have the power to smash your self esteem.

SPACEBOT1 SparkPoints: (25,521)
Fitness Minutes: (9,976)
Posts: 969
10/21/12 11:39 A

Thanks for the reply. I just can't help feeling that I am much fatter than I thought I was if even small children are shouting it at me. It's pretty depressing. I appreciate the hugs x

HAWAII5YEARS SparkPoints: (51,663)
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Posts: 594
10/21/12 11:34 A

It sounds like you have had a string of bad luck.
Nothing any of these people said to you reflects on you. It is a reflection of them and their own feelings of self-worth.
Please don't take it to heart and don't let a bunch of idiots deter you from your healthy goals. emoticon

SPACEBOT1 SparkPoints: (25,521)
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Posts: 969
10/21/12 11:27 A

3 times in the last 3 weeks different men have shouted the words "Fat C***t" at me, complete strangers, for no reason at all (although the first one was in a car and was annoyed that I was taking too long to drive off at the lights, but still).

Today I was walking to my car when a group of small children asked about my crutch and when I said I had to go, one of them called me fatso.

Why does this keep happening to me? I'm starting to feel like I don't want to leave the house if I'm going to have to face abuse every time I go outside. I don't understand it, it's not as if I'm huge, not like I used to be, I mean, that still wouldn't make it acceptable but at least it would make more sense.

I've lost 75lbs and am down to 155lbs but now I just feel like I'm kidding myself and wasting my time. All that hard work and effort, 19 months of weighing and measuring my food and always choosing a healthy option and trying to exercise and what is the point if I'm still so hideously fat that people are shouting abuse at me?

I can't stop crying. It's been such hard work and now I just want to eat everything in sight.

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