Veg_girl, it's funny you mention your work challenge/competition, the group of people that I left to get away from the pity parties was in the middle of a 12 week challenge to see who could lose the biggest % of weight. Hubby and I have been the 'biggest losers' for the last 6 weeks (8 weeks in). We kicked into high gear and got moving and eating healthy and the others kicked into high gear with pity parties. I found people actually got bitter about my success. They stopped giving me support completely and started having regular pity parties.
I wanted to see the 12 week challenge through but the environment was growing very negative. Hubby and I are going to keep tracking our progress over the 12 weeks and still do the challenge, we're just going to finish it alone. I'm the kind of person who uses a challenge to push myself and they were the kind of people who used a challenge as an excuse to give up and complain.
Fitness Minutes: (14,252)
9,619 3/8/13 12:53 P
You don't approach them at all. If they want to ask questions, answer them, but it's not your job nor your duty to make others "see the light." Either be honest, or if they can't take that, avoid them. It's not worth it, and it's not going to help if they're not ready, anyway.
I have a hard time with people saying they don't have time. I work full time, go to graduate school full time, have a small child that is in travel soccer and ballet (she's also in the middle of rehearsals for Cinderella), a husband, and two dogs. Do I work out everyday and follow my exercise plan like I would like, no. But I do try to get in as much as I can and work around our schedule. Also working out is just part of the equation. It really doesn't take all that much extra time to make healthy food choices. I do try to be support of people but the "I don't have time" excuse grates on me.
I've experienced this a lot at work lately. We are all doing the biggest loser and I'm currently in 2nd. I've been slowly but surely dropping weight and I am now seen as the person to beat. When people ask me what I do - I say I count calories and workout - I always promote SP. And just like you- I get responses on why they can't do those things. My favorite "I have a family, just wait until your'e a mom - you wont' have time for all the things you are doing." I just calmly explain that I make the time because I need to and that my health is important enough to find 20-30 minutes a few days a week to stay healthy. Kids or not - 20 minutes for yoruself a day should be something you require yourself to do FOR YOU!
My other favorite is how impossible it is to eat healthy and be full - on how peole just CANT do that.
They're just that - excuses - and you can support people who have a few, and avoid people who have a lot!
Used to bug me, but not anymore. I have enough negative in my life through family issues and other things going on, I don't have time to listen to someone elses woes and complaints when they refuse to make even the smallest change.
I have had many people ask and I get the same reaction on these message boards when they ask what i am doing. I will admit I jumped in with both feet and sure I have tumbled a few times, but I got back up, dusted myself off and continued. I also reiterate to any who ask that it is working for me. i don't have a family to feed so the changes I made were drastic.
There are no excuses that are good enough when it comes to health. If someone is making excuse after excuse, they don't have a good enough reason to get on the healthy journey. Those are the people i tend to feel sorry for.
Fitness Minutes: (28,895)
2,217 3/8/13 12:45 A
It depends. If they're always like that, I have a hard time spending time with them. However, if they're just going through a bad patch, I try to put myself in their shoes and encourage them. I'm not a very patient person, but it is something that I'm working on.
Fitness Minutes: (13,927)
1,065 3/7/13 11:42 P
One of my roommates in college was like that!! She was trying to lose weight and better her 2-mile time for a state police physical test. During that time, I really took control of my own life and worked out and ate better. She said she wanted results (and was already very overweight) but didn't take steps to add MORE exercise into her day (she would go and walk/run her 2 miles and be done) such as swimming or doing the elliptical just for more calories burned. She also tried to just eat like crap and then complained on how "easy it is for you" to be thin.
Last time I checked... passing up a fried chicken, french fries, and dessert was not EASY!! Neither was dragging my butt to the gym in the freezing cold, but I did it and when I invited her she turned it down, so I just dropped it and continued bettering myself.
You can't make someone else want it. They have to want it for themselves.
Fitness Minutes: (1,009)
435 3/7/13 10:01 P
I've been where you are. When people ask me what I've been doing, I tell them. When I start to hear why that won't work for them, then I stop wasting my time. Obviously they aren't ready to commit. If the complaining continues I change the subject and then try to avoid. I know it sounds cruel, but I lose my patience too.
Fitness Minutes: (152,690)
20,325 3/7/13 9:39 P
I believe we attract what we radiate. Be positive and happy while you thrive in knowing you are making the healthiest choices for your total well being. Suffering is caused by attachment, avoid being attached to that which you do not want.
Fitness Minutes: (11,296)
509 3/7/13 2:56 P
Avoid, Avoid, Avoid, unless I'm the guy complaining. Then I notice people running form me.
I find I have very little patience/tolerance for people who complain about lack of results when they haven't done anything to achieve results. It's a constant pity party and I feel like it drains me of all my energy just listening to it and trying hard to come up with something they will want to hear (they never want to hear the truth).
How do you guys approach people like that? Or do you just avoid them in general?
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkTeams, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.