The past can be a painful thing to deal with but you have to remember that forgiveness is more for YOU than the other person. Part of forgiveness is FORGETTING the past during arguments. Think of yourself. Everyone has skeletons in their closet and if you're in an argument with someone, you don't want them throwing that stuff in their face. That's called bitterness. You don't want to be around bitter people, so you have to choose not to be bitter yourself.
YES, I have been through it. So much more than I care to share on a public forum anymore, but trust me when I tell you, you're not doing yourself or the relationship any favors by holding on to this grudge. Any infidelity before you chose to be exclusive with one another-doesn't really count as infidelity now, does it? If my relationship, which has been understood to be exclusive for 14+ years can survive what we went through because of choices he made, if you two really want this relationship, yours can as well.
Suffice to say, that the biggest tip I have for you is forgive and forgive wholly.
MamiSheli53 is my MOM!!!
Aim for progress...NOT perfection.
Starting weight July 2012: 310 (dates of accomplishment for the following to come) GW1: 280 passed 2/8/13-278! GW2: 250 GW3: 220 GW4: 200 GW5: 175
I can do ALLLLLL things through Christ who strengthens me.
"It's a long, hard climb-but I'm gonna get there."
"If you stay focused on the past, you will never be able to see what lies ahead."
12/4/12 2:41 P
Have you tried therapy/counseling?
�We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.� ~ Randy Pausch
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." ~ Art Turock
"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good." ~ 7 Years in T
12/4/12 1:18 P
I have some jealousy issues....I have a hard time forgetting the past that existed before my boyfriend and I became exclusive. We're now a year in and I still look for reasons to be upset even though he's proven himself to be a trustworthy and amazing man. After an explosive argument this weekend, he's taking time to think about what he really wants, and if it's me.
Has anyone dealt with this before? Did the jealousy/trust issues ever dissipate? I'm worried and I know he is too, and I really fear losing him.
What did you do to move on?
Be beautiful, inside and out.
**SW: 188 in 2007** 1/1: 172 - New Years! 2/14: 165 - Valentine's @ the Cabin! 3/14: 155 - Boston & St. Patty's Day 4/12: 145 - Spring Break in Nola & Miami! 5/15: 138 - 50# DOWN! 6/1: 130 - GW!!!
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.