Well.... with women's bodies, it's always T & A, isn't it. Either they're saying something about your boobs, or your butt. And if your boobs and/or butt aren't noteworthy, they say you have nice eyes and are statuesque. sigh.
Personally I'd take what your friend said as a compliment and move on. It sounds to me like she's got butt envy. And no, your butt is not the only attractive thing about you. But it IS one of the things a lot of people focus on, with women. If you suddenly lost your butt tomorrow (omg, my a** fell off!!), your friend would be complimenting your great smile and how your hair looks or maybe you've got great boobs too and she'd zero in on those.
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Take the compliment and move on; you're beautiful, own it.
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I see your picture and can't believe your friend didn't mention your beautiful smile
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You are more than just your butt! Take the compliment graciously and move on.
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Many people have something which is the focus of other people's attention, and it can be hard to deal with. However, given that there's nothing you can do about it, you're going to have to learn to live with it. This WILL get easier as you get older. My grand daughter was born with no fingers on her left hand - she knows people are staring sometimes - but the older she gets, the less she cares. She has so many other beautiful and intellectual qualities - as I'm sure you do too.
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Just be proud of your body. I'm sure you are a beautiful girl!!!!
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To me good friends can talk to each other that way. You stated she was a good friend. I like it real with friends. I also would take it as a great compliment and would be flattered if I was told that. I am a butt person and notice big nice butts on men and women. Maybe she is a butt person like me and notices that part of the anatomy first. That doesn't mean she doesn't think other parts of you are not equally attractive.
Um... It's the third friend who should feel insulted. "Nice eyes" and "statuesque" means "oops, I complimented Shinespark on her butt and now I have to scramble to think of *something* nice to say about you!" Seriously, both of those things are codes for "You're very nice, but not particularly attractive."
Just because people compliment you on one outstanding thing, that doesn't mean that's the only thing you have to offer. It just means they think that one thing is especially brilliant. If you win the Nobel Prize for Medicine, people aren't going to say, "You're a brilliant medical researcher, and you also have a very pretty lawn"-- even if YOU feel like the lawn is a harder thing to do than the cure you discovered for cancer.
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1,872 11/6/13 9:16 P
I get it. I was always told I had a great chest. Nothing else was mentioned, Just the girls. Like I had anything to do with them (thanks, mom).
I say a couple of things depending on the situation, but I'm not as nice of a person as I used to be. I turn it around " are you calling me a boob?" (ass in your case). The response is always an apologetically defensive NO.
To others: Don't you know that it is really rude to comment on someone else's body? Didn't your mother teach you any manners?
Or I will be mean and comment on their most prominent feature...hmm yes, I know I have boobs/butt. Did you know you have a big nose? Bald head? whatever.
Realize that this is more about them trying to be cute or funny than it is about you.
To the original poster, take the compliment in the spirit it was given. I wouldn't worry about it being objectifying or reducing you to just a body part, given that it was coming from your girlfriend in the context of a conversation about compliments and physical features....
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67 11/6/13 6:02 P
I can completely understand where you are coming from. I've always been 'thick' with a huge chest. People typically only focus on that one asset and never make it past that.
It's hurtful. Guys always used to say that I was chunky but that's okay because I have a nice chest. How is THAT a compliment??
Now, the rest of my body matches my chest. I don't get those 'compliments' anymore but I remember it all too well.
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I think you're taking your friend's comments much too personally.Serena and Venus Williams are very powerful women. You're talking women who can serve a tennis ball at 90+ mph. The only people who can hit harder than them are the top male tennis players. Anyway, the point ? They are noted for having very strong physiques. Commentators have said they have big butts. And you know what ? They don't care ! Why ???
Read this poem from a NIKE advertisement about having a big butt.
My Butt is Big and round like the letter C and ten thousand lunges have made it rounder but not smaller and thatís just fine itís a space heater for my side of the bed itís my ambassador to those who walk behind me itís a border collie that herds skinny women away from the best deals at clothing sales my butt is big and thatís just fine and those who might scorn it are invited to kiss it Just do it
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3,293 11/6/13 2:40 P
I get that all the time too...not "big" but "nice." I think that part of that has to do with spending time around people who are from cultures where that is noticed/important/sexualized, such as Brazil, Puerto Rico, etc.
Since I cannot see my own butt, I will have to take their word for it. :)
It's a compliment--take it!
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22,851 11/6/13 2:28 P
Take it girl. Take that compliment. You have other features that are attractive... in this day & time people are more BOLD and say what they think... *without thinking*
Butt or no butt talk, just say thank you and move on. Do not dwell on the topic. When the topic comes up again, say thank you and move on. Pretty soon the ones that feel they must draw attention and make butt comments will get the drift and quit bringing it up.
My boobs get smaller as I lose weight, but I do not feel any less of a woman or less appealing. You know why? Because I do not allow comments toward my body parts go any further than the one spewing at the mouth with them. *in one ear and out the other*
Flaunt what you got. Carry it with pride. Toss the negative feelings out and work on positive vibes!
So... I have a good friend who unintentionally hurt my feelings... today, we were talking about people complimenting you, and she told me that I have a very nice shape with a nice, BIG butt... meanwhile, she told my friend that my friend has nice eyes and is very statuesque.. However, with me, the only "positive" thing that she continuously repeated was that I have a nice BUTT... I am so sick of being told about my butt... all my life, even when I was a string bean, people have focused on my butt and how "big" and "nice" it is... I'm honestly sick of hearing about it and it goes deeper than that... it makes me feel like, physically, I have nothing else to offer... I just don't get it. It's something that I would give away if I could, and it makes me feel like when I lose weight in that area, people no longer find me appealing... am I just making a mountain out of a moehill? I am just tired of my butt being the first thing that people see instead of ME!
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