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FEDGIRL4 Posts: 1,948
6/12/13 10:50 A

Isn't it ironic that, statistically speaking it takes 21 days to build a habit but only one to destroy it?

I'm 46 and have been with Spark for 3-1/2 years. I tried Weight Watchers 3 times, TOPS, and E-Diets. I never quite went to the Jenny Craig or Medifast where you buy the food. I still have my self-doubts, cravings, and days where I JUST BLOW IT! Take this past Monday. A family member of my supervisor made cookies. There were just two more. I thought about eating them, then buckled down and ate my lunch and my cravings disappeared.

My strategy(ies) have changed over the past 3-1/2 years. I agree with the poster that said you are learning from your experiences. You are learning to build new strategies and coping skills. It takes at least some time to do that.

Sometimes with me, I just have to get through it. If you don't have healthy food around, pick and choose from the healthies of that food to eat. Just an example, let's say you are with friends you end up going to McDonald's. Not the healthiest. Pick a grilled snack wrap and side salad with water. At home, let's say that your family cooks fried chicken, mac and cheese, and some kind of vege with sauce. Pick the skin off the chicken (easier said than done I know), take one bite of the mac and cheese, and shake as much sauce off the vege as you can.

Just like driving through traffic. Let's say there is an accident on your main way to get where you are going. Do you know the cut throughs and side roads? Take them. If not, learn them.

SCRAPPYDOO9 SparkPoints: (3,870)
Fitness Minutes: (3,792)
Posts: 36
6/12/13 10:28 A

Also, drink a lot of water...it is good for you in many ways and really helps with feeling full and feeling good. I try to keep a full 24 oz water bottle with me all day long. It was a great piece of advice I learned here.

KATHYHARRIOTT1 Posts: 28
6/12/13 8:46 A

As long as you keep trying, you are not a failure. Failure is just giving up.

When you start to stress out about "failing", take some time to find your "bliss". This could be watching a comedy, going for a walk, listening to music - what ever takes your mind OFF of what you think is your failure. This will take you OUT of that situation and reset your thinking.

We all have slip ups. Don't let a single juicy burger or missed workout turn into a binge or a week of missed workouts. Just let it be and move on to the next work out or meal.

You CAN do this!

SPARKCHICK Posts: 3,290
6/12/13 7:04 A

Been there, done that! I know what you're going through. I, too, have been on a billion diets. I've lost weight, and then, started to eat again when stressed. I've learned to ask myself what's really going on when I want to overeat. Then I go to my "safe" place , where I know I won't be tempted to eat. Someplace not near food and do something that will distract me or makes me happy. (Go to your computer, go for a quick walk and look at nature, do something that's fun or JUST DO the project you don't want to do - that's causing you stress.)

Never give up. Keep trying! Find a fun exercise. We're all in this together! emoticon

SCRAPPYDOO9 SparkPoints: (3,870)
Fitness Minutes: (3,792)
Posts: 36
6/12/13 2:19 A

You are not a failure, you are learning from your experiences. It helped me to decide that I was going to commit to healthy eating and tracking my foods as a way of life, not as a diet. I began to look at it as a mind shift, and then my behavior shifted. Until i fully committed, and decided that i was going to follow through, even when I didnt want to, I couldnt be successful. Something clicked in me over the past 5 months, and 45 pounds down, and i feel joyous about starting this journey. So I guess I would advise that you outline your reasons for wanting to change, and come up with a mantra that will put you back on track when you feel like you are going to stray. Mine was "10 not 20" (as in size) and it helped me focus. Yu can do it, that is one thing i have learned here at Sparkpeople--if all those other people did it, I can too, and if I could do it, I know you can. Best of luck to you! Be kind to yourself :)

SWIMOM Posts: 366
6/12/13 12:59 A

When you get a stressful moment, drink a glass of water, decompress for 30 minutes and see how you feel then. If you still want something, make it something like an apple, something you can sink your teeth into. Sometimes that crunch is all one needs.

Remember, this is about you taking charge of your own self. At 21, that can be a struggle but, in time you will learn new coping methods. Try doing a few moments of stretching, deep breathing, a few push ups, a few sit ups. Just give it a chance. Learning new ways to decompressing is all about you!

FAERIAH Posts: 51
6/12/13 12:05 A

Hey there!
I know exactly what you mean. I've been going through what you're describing, for years..
So many years.. It's really frustrating to think about how "I could've done this then, I would've had so many more years to do things I never could do because I was overweight", etc..

First off, I want to say that I don't like the term "failure".. When it comes to changing your life, it's not about winning or losing, it's about doing what's best for you as often as you're able and live your life, meanwhile.

I find I beat myself up way too much over having taken so long to get to a normal weight because I feel like I'm missing out on something.
Truth is (and I know you might hate hearing this), life is happening whether you think you deserve living it or not. It's so easy to think that you need to look a certain way or be a certain way to make the most out of life, but honestly, you can do it right now.
It really is that simple. Unfortunately, it being so simple makes us feel that much worse when we feel we don't "live up to it", but.. There's nothing to "live up to"..

I feel like I'm rambling, but I hope you understand what I mean.
The point is, there's no magical solution.
Weight loss in itself is not the answer, but it's realizing that you, as a person, is what matters and the life you want to live is completely possible whether or not you're at a certain weight.

AND (I guess this is where the magic comes in), once you manage to stop obsessing over how much of a failure you are, and start living your life (and making healthy choices that actually make you feel better (exercise, for example, is awesome once you find something you like)), the weight WILL come off. I promise you. Just take it one day at a time, if you eat the right things and exercise, there's no way you'll feel deprived. I can easily give you some suggestions if you PM me, but it'll only be good ol' whole foods and complete meals. ;)

Hope that helped at all.
Cheers!


HOTINJERSEY Posts: 31
6/11/13 11:42 P

Let me start by saying that I am a total on and off again dieter. I have tried everything from Weight Watchers, South Beach, Jenny Craig, SparkPeople, Myfitnesspal and I always have the same end results; failure. I do well the first couple of days and then as soon as something stressful happens or I don't have the right foods to eat I am completely derailed and back to unhealthy eating. I desperately want to lose the weight, as it is completely holding me back from so many things and it making me, quite frankly, miserable.

However, I don't know where to start anymore. I have tried all kinds of different approaches so many times that I feel completely lost. I need a program that will be something that is relatively simple to follow, won't leave me feeling deprived, and will keep me interested in following the plan. I am open to any and all of the suggestions you may have as to where I should start in order to lose this weight once and for all.

I don't know if it makes any difference but I am a 21 year old male living on the East Coast.

Thank you!!

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