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YOJULEZ SparkPoints: (15,605)
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Posts: 2,171
2/18/13 11:18 A

I agree w/ Russell. There's no reason your boyfriend should not eat things just because it will tempt you. Think of it as a way to work on your own self control :) While I'm a big fan of everything in moderation, I often skip the pizza because 1 slice is never enough to fill me up despite having a lot of calories, and I'd rather eat a healthier meal that will fill me up and satisfy me.

My SO is one that can eat whatever he wants and not gain anything. One solution we've found is that he will often get the fast food, pizza etc that he likes at lunch, when I'm not around. Then, we eat dinner together, and I prepare it (I know this part might be hard if you're living in a dorm). That way, he gets the food he wants, and then when we're together, we have a healthier meal (he usually eats 2 servings versus my 1 serving).

Edited by: YOJULEZ at: 2/18/2013 (11:21)
RUSSELL_40 Posts: 16,826
2/18/13 10:50 A

Why would he change his eating habits, unless he needs to lose weight? I think it is insensitive to ask him to eat the way you do, especially since you hate eating that way.

You should just switch to a diet that you enjoy. That way he could enjoy his pizza, and maybe you could make pita pizzas. With a bit of sauce, cheese, and meat/vegetables, you could control how many calories are in your pizza. A pita makes a healthier version of the crust. If you are enjoying your diet, what he is eating should not matter.

The problem is the contrast of his diet to yours. If you made a healthier version of his pizza he might even switch to that, but he isn't going to eat bananas with you..lol. Also, when you do go out socially, you may want to save a few calories, and eat a bit off plan. Plan it out, and track it. Have a slice of pizza and a salad, maybe a beer. You still have to live,and if you do not like your diet, or are envious of his, you will not stick to it for long.

SPARKBJOK SparkPoints: (80,182)
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2/18/13 10:35 A

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I love homemade pizza so you get the great taste with less calories and grease. Also, tortilla chips and salsa is yummy and a nice treat.

ZORBS13 SparkPoints: (99,719)
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Posts: 13,099
2/17/13 8:41 A

I used to have that attitude..

Instead of thinking "not fair!" people who eat whatever unhealthy crap without thinking are not as enlightened about health and taking care of their bodies.

However, that doesn't mean you can't ever have chips and pizza. Just not in unlimited amounts.

DANISARANAC1 Posts: 261
2/17/13 6:43 A

Now I want pizza! Dang it.

BANGME33 SparkPoints: (1,021)
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Posts: 14
2/17/13 6:23 A

i find making ya own pizza is the bet way and u can use what ever u want to ,
they are so easy to make a simple bread dough and rolled out with you nice toppings just curb the cheese or use the fat less ones

VELVETMERLIN Posts: 229
2/17/13 12:50 A

We are also told by others and watching tv and reading all kinds of books that we have to eat a certain way if we are to be on a 'diet'. While it is true that in an ideal world we would all be eating all the healthy foods and the bad foods didn't exist and we'd all be an ideal weight, that just isn't possible. It's ok to eat what you want, but just don't overdo it. It's ok to have some pizza (a whole pizza isn't a good thing!) and it's ok to have some chips (not a hole bag unless the whole bag is an ounce). It's ok to give in. What will happen later is that you will feel a lot worse when you are so hungry that you either pass out or you give in and have more than you ever intended. The first rule of dieting (I should say a healthier lifestyle) is to NEVER deprive yourself. The second rule (for me, anyway) is not to tell people because then when you slip, all you hear is 'I thought you were on a diet' (if you have a great support system in place, that is different, but I've heard that all my life so I don't tell people anymore). Don't ever feel guilty. If you want that slice, by all means, have it. If you want a burger, then have it. If you want that candy bar, then have it. As long as it isn't all the time, you'll be fine. I agree with the others, too-it's not fair that some guys can eat all they want and lose while others have to work their butts off and lose at a slow rate. You can do it! Just don't beat yourself up.

CALLMECARRIE Posts: 1,598
2/16/13 5:37 P

Think of it this way, though: if you had eaten pizza and potato chips, how would you have felt afterwards? If you're trying to lose weight, my guess is -- not good. I'm on the other side of this situation today; I ate the pizza and potato chips, and now I don't feel so great and I wish I could step back and change my mind and just have eaten the banana.

Edited by: CALLMECARRIE at: 2/16/2013 (17:38)
RIET69 SparkPoints: (47,087)
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2/16/13 3:11 P

When I am hungry and out with a friend, we both may stop for something to eat. Sometimes we order an appetizer to share (like a thin crust veggie pizza) with a glass of wine; if we have had enough, we stop eating, if we are still hungry we may order something else. It has to do with making good choices, and for me, I track everything I eat because I have trouble with portion control. Tracking helps me.

SPKRAUSE Posts: 543
2/16/13 1:13 P

I'll jump in and, first, agree with DRAGONCHILDE.

Second, I've been the guy on that side of the relationship equation, and it's not fair: I've got a faster metabolism, I have more muscle and testosterone and lower body fat, and at half a foot taller and a healthy weight a third again or more greater than my SO's, I *need* more calories per day just to maintain, so I *get* to eat more ... it looks like.

Anyway, DRAGONCHILDE's point -- you can eat what you want. What *what* you want and *how much* you want are two different things, so more or less whatever you want as long as the calories come out right ... one *can* lose weight on a junk food diet, for example, though it would probably be high in sodium, low in vitamins, imbalanced in other nutrients. And I think the second part, though, s *want what you have* (or should have) -- some junk-ish or fast foods are enough of triggers that if I have them around I'll eat them and eat them until they're gone, but once I'm eating 'food' (not too much ... mostly plants), it fills me, it tastes good, etc. I'm never restricted to 'a banana'.

And as others have said -- it's possible he was being insensitive, not because he was eating what he wanted or what his body wanted/needed, and not even if he didn't rub it in your face or similar, but because eating out together is a social affair that involves a give and take, and ignoring that and not working together negates the point of being out together.

But in summary: eat food that you like and allow yourself treats if that works for you, but watch the portions and remain active.

SPARKBJOK SparkPoints: (80,182)
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2/16/13 12:08 P

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I agree. Eat what you want but control the portions. It works, along with exercise.

SAKURABLOSSOM9 Posts: 524
2/16/13 11:54 A

I eat whatever I want. It's all about portions. If you want pizza, you can eat pizza. You just have to balance your meals to your goals. One slice of pizza doesn't fill me up, so I eat a salad with it. I know I'm going out tonight, so I eat a lighter lunch to save the calories.

CMCOLE Posts: 2,667
2/16/13 9:21 A

If you hate it, if you can't follow a plan for a lifetime - then go back to your old ways and don't complain when they don't work at giving you the goals you have in mid.

It's all about choices, mindset and making the changes that YOU can live with.
Occasional indulgences will not kill you when the rest of your menu is full of satisfying choices, but seeing everything as a "no" and "not fair" because someone else eats it will leave you feeling defeated, angry and resentful (hence your post)

IVYLASS SparkPoints: (116,437)
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2/16/13 8:32 A

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Why did you just grab a banana? You could have gotten a nice salad, or some lean protein such as chicken. Eating healthy does not mean starving yourself.

ANGUSSANDY SparkPoints: (160,020)
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2/16/13 7:44 A

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I get what you are saying. He seems a little insensitive. I think some partners could be a little more supportive, but some seem to take your efforts to improve as an opportunity to show you how much they can eat without gaining.

LOUNMOUN Posts: 1,276
2/16/13 7:39 A

You can still eat pizza. You can eat smaller portions and try to choose a healthier version.
If you simply choose a cheese or vegetable pizza over a greasy meat laden pizza it will be a better choice. If you make your own pizza from scratch it also doesn't have to be super unhealthy.

If you do eat one slice of pizza once a week then it would not do that much damage if you are eating healthy and exercising enough the rest of the time.

Try putting some different choices of the foods you like into your nutrition tracker to see what fits in your plan.



NIRERIN Posts: 11,875
2/16/13 7:28 A

i think you need to straighten out your feelings and your hunger cues here. you went to go get him food because he was hungry. fine. you don't mention being hungry at all, so it's fine that you chose to skip eating a full meal. since you were heading back to the room to eat, it's a little weird that you grabbed a banana when you weren't hungry, but in terms of dining hall options a banana is a quick, easy and decent partial snack. then you get back, eat your banana and complain of not being full after eating when you weren't hungry. first of all, a banana is a partial snack. you need to have something with protein with it if it going to fill and keep you or simply use it as a holdover until you properly eat. secondly if you were actually hungry and needed dinner a banana is not a meal and the roughly 100 cals it has isn't likely to fill or keep you for any length of time. if you're restricting yourself to the point where a banana counts as a whole meal option, then you need to redo everything that you are doing right now because that should not be the case. odds are you could have gotten a small 1/2 cup portion of pasta, bulked it out with cup of broccoli or cauliflower [from the salad bar if those weren't side options] added the sauce option and a protein option and had a filling meal for a few hundred calories. again, if you were actually hungry.
if you want to be able to eat more, you have to carry more muscle and work out more. it's not going to get you to the same level as your boyfriend, but it will; still grant you some more wiggle room.
another thing to note is that your bf is eating when he is hungry, not when he happens to be passing by food. just like you wouldn't necessarily go the bathroom if he has to go to the bathroom or take a shower if he has to take a shower if he's hungry you don't necessarily have to eat. yes, some of those things can be scheduled together for convenience, but you need to go by what you need. because if you go by the idea that since other people are eating you should get to eat too, you'll never be able to make any progress. someone, somewhere is always eating. so you have to ignore other people listening to their hunger cues and pay more attention to your hunger cues. you can't sync up with everyone and trying is only going to make you fail.
and if you want pizza, have pizza. figure a slice will run you somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 cals. pair it with a 100-200 cals salad loaded with veggies and light on the dressing [or even using particularly juicy fruits in place of dressing] and you have a filling meal for 400-500 cals. which, even at the lowest range of 1200 cals is just over 1/3 of your daily calories. which is entirely doable.
if you want chips, have chips. if they have a sandwich station, try to make a 300 cal sandwich to go with the 100-200 cals of chips and you have dinner. again, the junkier the food you want the more you want to pair it with something lower cal and filling, but you can have what you want.
you can't have everything you want every time, but you can have it. and if you really want to eating everything you want all the time, you can probably manage it. you're essentially going to have to go on the michael phelps olympic training exercise plan and that should burn enough calories to accommodate pretty much anything. so if you're willing to make the sort of trade off where you're working out like a full time job, then you can. but if you aren't willing to make that sort of a commitment, then you have to accept that you can pick one treat each go and that you're going to need to balance it out with stuff you need. again, it's not that you can't have everything you want, it's that you can't have everything you want every time you want it.

POPSECRET SparkPoints: (45,209)
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2/16/13 3:23 A

While I do also agree with Dragon and AsianPear, sometimes losing weight or being healthy means you're just gonna have to say "no" sometimes. Not all the time, though :) Stick with it!

ASIANPEAR77 Posts: 130
2/16/13 2:06 A

i agree with dragon - we can eat what we want. it's all about moderation. so instead of the average portion cut half of it away. or if your bf is supportive about your decision you two could literally split a meal. it may not fill you up like it used to but i am sure that can be fixed by some good veggies and/or sweet fruit! give and take if you will.

but i don't know i was just trying to give you ideas :good luck with it all! emoticon

SUSANBEAMON Posts: 3,242
2/16/13 1:27 A

it really isn't fair that guys can eat more than we women can without gaining weight, and it's even worse that just cutting out junk food men can lose three times what we can. but that is the way it is. all you can do is find what fills you up and eat that.

DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (56,921)
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2/16/13 1:25 A

Why can't you eat whatever you want? I certainly do.

This isn't about deprivation or denial. This isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle for living. For life! You can have a piece of pizza.You can even have chips! You just don't need to eat half the pizza and an entire large bag of chips. ;) Eating healthy isn't all or nothing! I aim for 80% of the time eating great. The other 20%? I have pizza with the family. Chips once in a while (well, I used to. NOw they're not appetizing anymore, so I rarely want them.)

I even have a real soda now and again.

It's all about moderation. Balance, enjoyment, and planning.

LEXAPAIGE Posts: 42
2/16/13 1:18 A

It's a friday night and my boyfriend and I are hanging out. We walked over to the meal hall for something to eat because he was hungry. He grabbed a piece of pizza and lays bbq chips. I passed even though my mouth was watering. When we got back to the room and he ate away while I ate a banana. I hate this. It really sucks. I want to be able to eat whatever I want. A banana does not fill me up. Sorry, had to vent. emoticon

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