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FEDGIRL4 Posts: 2,180
6/12/13 10:34 A

Keep in mind that, depending on what generation she is from, cooking and feeding equals love. If you don't have an income and/or can't store your own food, you may have to just pick and choose what you eat.

She may be willing to change or she may not. I wish you luck.

TIME_TO_SHINE1 SparkPoints: (12,974)
Fitness Minutes: (3,904)
Posts: 437
6/10/13 7:20 P

I am sorry that you are having trouble. Maybe if you find recipes that you and your grandmother can make together she will be more open to the change. emoticon

OKIE30 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (600)
Posts: 196
6/9/13 1:05 P

You could move, if it gets bad enough. But u might want, to avoid her at meal-times. I'm lucky in that my parents are on board with my lifestyle plan.

PECHEDOLL SparkPoints: (2,022)
Fitness Minutes: (1,590)
Posts: 20
6/9/13 1:23 A

THank you for all the helpful suggestions everyone. I particularly like the idea of using what she makes as condiments, that is a very good idea.

EDENFELL Posts: 212
6/9/13 1:13 A

Hi! This sounds so familiar..I have family members who like to push food on me as well. I know that this is not fun to hear but you just need to keep saying no repeatedly. Tell her it is for your health and that it's not that you don't appreciate her..also, can you give her healthy recipes from spark to cook for you instead? If not, keep saying no and stay strong. Eventually, she will start respecting your boundaries even if she may not like it. On your end, don't feel guilty about saying no. Standing up for yourself is part of this process and saying no in this instance is saying yes to your health and well-being. Hang in there!

ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
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Posts: 1,724
6/9/13 1:06 A

P.S. If your grandmother does enjoy cooking with you, you could introduce some healthy recipes from this website or your favorite healthy cookbook and see if you can make them together.

And big congratulations on your weight loss so far and your resolve to continue!

ANGELCITYGAL SparkPoints: (38,869)
Fitness Minutes: (20,298)
Posts: 1,724
6/9/13 1:02 A

I'm sorry you're having such a struggle. I think you're probably going to have to take over responsibility for some or most of your meals. You'll have to manage your grandmother's hurt feelings, too. I'd suggest looking for recipes that you can make with the things typically on hand in the house, and simply cooking for yourself. Or, if you currently pitch in financially for the food budget, take back some of that money and do your own shopping and cooking as much as possible. If that means having a little mini-fridge in your room so you can have produce and dairy that is appropriate for your needs (and not have to worry about it disappearing), that might be a good strategy.

Perhaps you can think of the things your grandmother prepares as "condiments" -- have a spoonful of something to supplement what you're making for yourself. Compliment her. Let her know you appreciate her cooking and her efforts to nurture you ("food is love" and all that). I'm guessing she doesn't know any other way to cook. Maybe if you take an interest in learning the family recipes, so she knows they're appreciated, even if you don't eat large portions, that might help. Ask her to show you some cooking techniques, stuff like that, so she feels valued.

But in the end, if your grandmother (or anyone else in your life) isn't able for whatever reason to be supportive of your health, don't be dependent on them for your health! Find support elsewhere and just love her for what she can give to you.


PECHEDOLL SparkPoints: (2,022)
Fitness Minutes: (1,590)
Posts: 20
6/9/13 12:35 A

I am 250 pounds. My grandmother, who does most of the shopping and cooking does not seem to have any respect for my choice to eat healthier and stop having junk and snack foods. She gets very upset and or angry if the things she makes do not get eaten. I dont want to eat the things she makes. Ive actually taken to, in the middle of the night, cutting up and disposing of in the toilet and garbages what looks like my portion of the things she makes. She herself is overweight and im sure would like some help, but she is holding me back. HELP!!!

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