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SPORTYLAWGIRL SparkPoints: (8,473)
Fitness Minutes: (11,988)
Posts: 142
2/17/13 8:54 A

I completely agree that it's hard to believe that you can lose enough weight to look the way that you want. It's especially hard when the standard that many women set for themselves is based on unrealistic images from the media. Aim for a healthy weight and I think that you'll be surprised at how good you feel without ever reaching the "perfect" weight.

I would caution against judging people who are thinner than you. Unless you follow someone around 24/7 for life you don't know what they eat, how much they exercise, and if they have struggled with weight-related issues. You wouldn't want them judging you for your size.

FAWNZIB SparkPoints: (10,643)
Fitness Minutes: (6,671)
Posts: 3,491
2/16/13 4:58 P

My sis gave me the book The Beck Solution after she lost over 100 lbs. It made losing weight along with using this site actually a game of sorts(at times) It's still hard work,alot of sweat and at times denial BUT I write alot,I log things and realize why I was eating the way I was. I read my 5 x 7 cards every time I want to quit. Good luck,email me here any time if you need support. For me,I was on a rollercoaster of emotions...I am learning how to get in control finally.

PATRICIAANN74 Posts: 78
2/16/13 4:56 P

I say you're ahead of the game with the people you're comparing yourself to. I'm sure a lot of those girls are unhealthy "skinny fat." You are making yourself strong and healthy. Take pride in what you've accomplished!

SNOWWHITEANA SparkPoints: (120)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 11
2/16/13 4:42 P

Thank you for your replies.
I have tried strength training and it really makes me feel good. I feel good as long as I'm alone. When I'm alone I compare myself to myself but when I go out, I compare myself to people who don't try at all and are naturally skinny while I'm busting my ass and I'm still considered a lazy fat girl. And the reason I'm hopeless is that I think that it's not gonna be easy to lose 8 more inches. As you know it's easy in the beginning but then it becomes nearly impossible. So I'm like "ok that's as good as it's gonna get and I should accept the fact that I'm never gonna be happy with my body". It feels so bad...

CATSPANK SparkPoints: (8,332)
Fitness Minutes: (1,055)
Posts: 279
2/16/13 3:14 P

You've lost 8 inches! Thats incredible! I wish I had lost 8 inches. Look at how good you are doing, focus on that. Just keep on doing what is right and the weight will come off, I promise. Reward yourself for every inch you lose. I use bottles of nail polish for my mini rewards. Celebrate your successes. You are worth it.

PATRICIAANN74 Posts: 78
2/16/13 1:26 P

Is strength training part of your exercise routine? If not, consider adding it. You'll be amazed how empowering it is to realize you're getting stronger and able to do more reps and lift more weight.

STARDUST2K4 Posts: 1,346
2/16/13 10:49 A

Hello. I definitely understand what you're going through. Congrats on your progress.

I too have the same issue. In spite of my 90-pound loss, I still have major issues with my body images. I feel like I'll never get to a 'normal' size. The steps I am taking to get over this is to actually seek counseling. Logically, I know I'm doing fine. I know that even though It's been a VERY SLOW process-it's been 4 years since I was at my heaviest, and I took last year as a chance to just maintain, I still feel like I could have-SHOULD have, been done by now. The thing is, is if you're like a lot of us, the weight didn't come on overnight.
I started gaining in middle school, and I was made fun of, so naturally, over time, I started to believe what everyone else was saying. I'm still pushing (even though right now, I DO NOT WANT TO). I am seeking the help of the counselor so I can better appreciate how far I have come and maybe to help me help myself stay motivated.

Something that's helped me is to look through old photos. Read old journals. I recently wrote a blog about it. It's really helpful to get insight and to compare the past to the present. You can do this. it just takes time.

BEANBYDESIGN SparkPoints: (31,282)
Fitness Minutes: (36,402)
Posts: 1,021
2/16/13 10:11 A

Your problem here isn't weight loss, it's your internal monologue. I used to have issues with negative self-talk ("I'm so fat! I'm disgusting! I'm stupid! My hair is ugly!" etc.). I had someone in my life point out to me that, while I was perfectly able to be horrible to myself, there was no way on the planet I'd talk to a friend - or even a stranger - the way I talked to myself! So why was I treating myself worse (much worse, frankly) than I'd treat even a stranger? What I started doing was, every time I had a negative thought, I'd ask myself - "Would I tell a stranger who looked like me/did whatever 'dumb' thing I just did/etc. what I just said to myself?" If the answer was "no" (and the answer was ALWAYS no), I'd force myself to rewrite the script. "I'm fat - no, wait, I'm taking lots of healthy steps to address my weight and I've lost seven inches and now I can jog when I couldn't before." Start treating yourself with the same kindness and respect you show others, and you'll find it much easier to appreciate your own successes, instead of dwelling on what you perceive (wrongly) to be your "failures."

PRANA_DANCER SparkPoints: (36,919)
Fitness Minutes: (39,268)
Posts: 1,783
2/16/13 8:30 A

It sounds like you've made a lot of physical successes, but you're stuck in a very negative emotional view of yourself. How long have you defined yourself as "fat"? Because that's how many days, months, and years of negative self talk you're fighting against and that's why you feel doomed. If you're anything like me, that is a mountain of darkness that you don't have the first idea how to deal with.

This is what I did. It's going to be hard at first because it's a skill you have to develop but work through it. Find a journal. Buy a journal. Make a journal. Acquire a journal, somehow. Something small enough that you can carry with you. When you have a negative thought, don't write down the thought but write down why it's not true.

ex. Thought: "I'm fat." Write, "I've lost 8 inches off my shoulders." That is an incredible success and it should be celebrated.

Here's an example of one of mine. I thought, "I'm an idiot." I wrote, "I got an A on my last quiz in Pathology and Diagnosis."

When you start doing this, you may be dismayed at how quickly the pages fill up. But that's part of the exercise; it makes you realize how much negative self-talk you really do.

At the end of the day, pick one thing you really like about yourself. Write that down. Again, at first this may be hard. But again, that's part of the exercise - to make you realize how little supportive and positive self-talk you have.

In the immortal words of Susan from [Title of Show]:

"Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform and said these things, Id think he was a mentally ill *******, but if the vampire inside my head says it, its the voice of reason."

The song is about not listening to the voices of yourself and others that are holding you back from the things you want in life. Learning how to do this got me to my goals, but it also helped me gain my confidence and learn to love myself.It takes time, but don't despair. We're all here rooting for you and if you ever need a nudge towards the light just message me, or anyone else on Spark.

You are worth being healthy.

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SNOWWHITEANA SparkPoints: (120)
Fitness Minutes: (0)
Posts: 11
2/16/13 7:02 A

Hello everyone
I'm 20 years old and I started my healthy lifestyle journey 4 months ago, and I've made a lot of progress, I don't weigh myself I just measure myself and for example my shoulder size has been reduced for 8 inches but I still feel fat and I don't like shopping for clothes and wearing good clothes. I'm still not satisfied with the way I look. And I have to try harder and harder because my body gets used to my current diet and exercise. I'm desperate, I feel like I'm doomed. No matter how much I lose weight I'm still fat. I'm not confident at all and I don't think I can ever lose enough weight to be the way I want to be. Especially with the scumbag weight loss plateaus. I can't stay motivated. Have you had this experience? How did you get over it?

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