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PTREE15 SparkPoints: (8,292)
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Posts: 490
4/8/14 3:07 P

I have been getting similar comments from friends and family. Everyone says I'm either too thin, or I've lost enough weight, etc. Mind you, my BMI is around 21.5, which is smack-dab in the middle of healthy, so they needn't worry. I usually have to tell them exactly how much I weigh and what I've been eating to convince them I'm not anorexic, lol. I eat french fries on a regular basis, for crying out loud :D. I just don't eat them every day the way I used to. It's all about moderation.

I don't dare tell them I want to lose 10 more pounds, lol. I know they are just concerned. I do think part of it is that the average weight of U.S. people has gone up over the years. At this weight when I was younger (and the same height), I was considered chunky. Now I'm supposedly bordering on anorexia. :D You can't for losing (pun intended!).

BHENDRICK2 Posts: 1,200
4/8/14 12:40 P

i have been getting that im 4 ft 2 and have been told not to go under 115 but honestly every site i have calculated my right bmi weight have found 8-90 lbs to be right weight

MIAMEOWS SparkPoints: (5,524)
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Posts: 187
4/8/14 12:29 P

I have the same reactions - even from family members. Usually the only thing that gets them to stop is me explicitly telling them how much I weight and that my BMI is still considered obese. Otherwise they think I'm crazy for wanting to lose 50 more. I'm average height (5'5.5") and I think I LOOK like I weight 200 pounds! I know I'm muscular, but I still have a belly and really big legs. I can't quite understand why people argue with me that I should stop losing.

Sometimes I think it could be jealousy? Or concern that we are getting obsessed? I don't really know. My goal is the very high end of what I am supposed to be for my height. I'm going very slowly with the weight loss - it's been a little over a year and I've lost about 60. So, I don't know. But you're not alone!

VELAINE66 Posts: 339
4/8/14 10:57 A

It takes a great deal of discipline to lose weight in a world surrounded by food, foodies and occasions focused on food. Even on SP I just saw a Baskin Robbins add for Oreo cakes pop up. I think a lot of people realize you are accomplishing something that is a challenge.Most people do not want to make the necessary changes in life style to improve their health and that is what we are doing. You do what is best for you.

I am 68, 5' 5" and was 152 (all of it around the middle) I set my goal at 140 but now that I am at 141 I have reset my goal to 135 because I see that it will be better for me. I have totally eliminated sugar because that has always been my greatest weakness in eating. I had someone ask if I was ill because I was losing so much weight. I just smiled and said, "No, thankfully I am getting healthier. I wish you well in your journey.

LAURADGALLAGHER SparkPoints: (1,039)
Fitness Minutes: (3,709)
Posts: 12
4/8/14 10:43 A

I have encountered a number of nay sayers during my weight loss journey. "Oh, I hope you're not planning on losing more weight." "You're too skinny now." Blah Blah Blah. I think there are two reasons for it: 1. People don't know how to compliment you so they think telling you you've done TOO much is a good thing. 2. The general public has an inflated idea of what a healthy weight is. (Hence the obesity epidemic in the country.) Oh... and I forgot a third reason: THEY'RE JEALOUS OF YOUR SUCCESS! I say, it's your body/health and if you feel you need to lose more to be at your optimum health, then do it.

JANIEWWJD SparkPoints: (522,993)
Fitness Minutes: (331,127)
Posts: 14,427
4/6/14 10:38 P

Don't listen to negative comments! You do what feels right for YOU!!!

UMBILICAL Posts: 12,786
4/6/14 10:07 P


TACDGB Posts: 6,136
4/6/14 10:07 P

Lets not get me started.....Oh you already did. I lost 60 lbs. and all I have heard is "you're too skinny. I am so tired of hearing that. But it's my body God gave it to me so I get to design what it looks like...not them. For those in your life they may be envoius of what you have done as they didn't.

LADYCJM SparkPoints: (57,456)
Fitness Minutes: (36,342)
Posts: 2,545
4/6/14 7:30 P

I think we get these comments for a variety of reasons.

There are those few who are really concerned that we might be ill. Especially people who don't see us often so what has been slow steady weight loss for us seems dramatic to them.

There are those who are just trying to be nice. 100#s is a lot of weight to lose. They want to say something positive. When they hear you say, thanks I want to lose another x pounds the polite thing to say is oh you look great, you don't need to lose anymore.

Then there are those who subconsciously don't like it that you have lost weight. It makes them feel bad about their own efforts or lack therefore of! If the biggest guy they know isn't so big anymore then what does that say about them?

It's strange how people feel free to comment on our weight loss when they would never say "Wow, you sure have gained a lot of weight!"

MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 17,065
4/6/14 7:25 P

I have gotten that, too. I have been told I am wasting away. Someone wanted to know if I had become anorexic?

I told them no. I they persist in their comments. I tell them I look forward to eating and I am finally feeling happy and healthy. I don't know much about Anorexia, but I don't think you feel that way. I don't pay attention. Even though I believe these people mean well. I am finally feeling healthy. I am doing what is good for me.

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 4/7/2014 (14:48)
ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (191,704)
Fitness Minutes: (285,088)
Posts: 26,583
4/6/14 4:33 P

Hi, Steve !

Something similar happened to me. When I started losing weight, my cousin was extremely supportive and praised my efforts. We were out to lunch one day. I took off my old winter coat (which had become too big, but I hadn't bought a new one yet) and my cousin says to me,"Are you still losing weight ? Are you sick ? You look gaunt."

Mind you, I was around 160 pounds at the time, hardly waif material.

My cousin is obese, so I had wondered whether my efforts at being able to lose created resentment because she wasn't able to lose. I told my cousin that I was in perfect health and that was the end of the topic. And that really was the end of it. She never brought up my weight again even though I did continue to lose.

I had had a few other comments like that. People concerned that I might be losing too much or that I might be sick. Why would they say such things ? Perhaps they are concerned. If we have been overweight for a very long time, they may not know how to react once we've lost weight. Losing 100+ pounds is a BIG change. I'll bet people you haven't seen in a long time may have been a bit shocked.

With my cousin, once it seemed like I would be keeping the weight off (instead of yo yo dieting), she seemed less concerned with my weight loss.

I think that if you give your friends time to adjust to the new you, you'll be receiving more comments of praise than negative ones. I think the negative ones are probably a result of shock from seeing that you've lost so much weight. They need to adjust to your new body the same way you need to adjust.

It's funny. I've been teaching aerobics at a gym for several years now. I've had members come up to me and tell me that I don't know what it's like to be fat because I'm thin. I have to beg to differ. I DO know what it's like to be overweight because I have been overweight.

So, attitudes towards your body will change. I would say don't take anything personally. Most people may be making comments out of genuine concern for your health.

NIRERIN Posts: 14,131
4/6/14 4:23 P

i think it's about how you carry your weight. i'm no carny for a reason, but had you made me guess your weight in the before picture i would have guessed low 300s. and in your -104 lbs pic i would say that you're pretty close to 200 even. so based on that guesstimate losing 50-75lbs means ending up in the 125-150 range, which is really low for a 6'1" man. i'm not saying that that is what you're trying to do, but that's the kind of math that people are doing in their head when you say you want to lose that kind of weight and why they are becoming concerned. in other words you no longer look like you have that kind of weight to lose, even if the scale says otherwise.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,168
4/6/14 3:55 P

I guess I'm different.
After working my butt off...I enjoy it when someone takes notice and comments on my weight. I too have had someone ask if I was sick when I took of weight fast (years ago). When someone makes a strange comment ... consider the source and just keep moving. Create the destiny you want to enjoy

ETHELMERZ SparkPoints: (236,852)
Fitness Minutes: (201,440)
Posts: 17,813
4/6/14 3:01 P

Try to ignore those type of comments, during this current era of weight loss being sort of a "sport" and everyone thinks they can comment to anyone about it, this will happen to you many times, people are just ignorant and nosy. It happens to women all the time, and no one seems worried that they may be interfering, if someone really does have an illness that cause the weight loss. Maybe just a good stare would help, real friends will learn to keep their mouths shut, whether you lose or gain weight. Polite people do not comment on weight of any other person, period.

ITSSTEVE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (4,434)
Posts: 57
4/6/14 2:47 P

Thanks again for all of the support! I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've been obese pretty much all of my life so this is all new to me.

DPDAVIS Posts: 3,499
4/6/14 2:31 P


4/6/14 2:29 P

My experience was similar; I went from 240+ lbs to 165 in about a years time and many of my colleagues thought I had cancer. When some of them found out I was just losing weight I got a few comments that I was loosing too much. I didn't detect any malice amount those who said that to me.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,168
4/6/14 12:28 P

One of the toughest things about desk jobs is the activity level. If you're not sitting at a desk, then you're sitting in a meeting. Making time for the exercise was my biggest battle in IT. While scale numbers are important, the activity level is something I would strive for.

CAMEOSUN SparkPoints: (86,609)
Fitness Minutes: (5,698)
Posts: 10,425
4/6/14 12:27 P

Probably what you said, "They are just used to you looking a certain way."

By the way …


EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
4/6/14 12:07 P

OP, it is a common thing for folks who see us as one size to say things such as "you are getting too thin," "don't lose anymore weight," etc. Pay it no mind.

Edited by: EMPRESSAMQ at: 4/6/2014 (12:09)
4/6/14 11:09 A

There are a lot of reason people sabotage others. Insecurity with themselves, feeling threatened (you might find new friends and loved ones), or they might just be speaking carelessly. The important thing is to keep your goals in mind and disregard the negative or come up with a response like "my doctor is working with me on my weight loss goals and your support is helpful." You might also just change the subject when it comes up. Thanks for the compliment, by the way have you heard.... etc. Surround yourself with support. You are an inspiration!

ITSSTEVE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (4,434)
Posts: 57
4/6/14 10:51 A

Thank you, I'm 6' 1". According to many sites, my healthy "ideal" weight is approx. 189. That seems way too low!. My goal is to be about 220 pounds.

SHERYLDS Posts: 17,168
4/6/14 10:26 A

People have a hard time adjusting to change...even change in someone else.
I have to admit...I peeked at your sparkpage and I must don't look the current weight you have posted. I don't know how tall you are (and I know that being tall myself), looks can be deceiving. So looking at your profile pick (captioned: 104 pounds lost) and hearing you want to lose another 50-75 pounds, might make people think "too much weight" to lose. But You are intelligent and I think you will work towards a healthy weight for you as you go. Most of us see what lies under our covers.
Best wishes for a happy healthy future

Edited by: SHERYLDS at: 4/6/2014 (10:27)
ITSSTEVE SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (4,434)
Posts: 57
4/6/14 9:15 A

Since I started my journey last year, I have had the best support from family, friends and online communities. I am currently down 106 pounds as of last week's weigh-in. I plan to lose about 50-75 more pounds.

Lately, some people have been concerned that I may lose "too much weight". I'm a big guy. I started out at almost 400 pounds and I'm currently at 291. I look completely different but I'm still obese. Why are people reacting that way now? Maybe it's just because they're so used to me being big? I'm just wondering if anyone else has been in that situation before.

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