I would tell your parents "Thanks for the suggestions but this is MY wedding. I'll take your suggestions into consideration but it ultimately is what me and my FI want. If you can't respect that than consider yourselves uninvited to MY wedding."
It may sound harsh but your parents need to understand that this should be the wedding of YOUR dreams not theirs. If you tell them in a respectful way that they can either accept it or not go, they may back off.
Explain to them that you're upset about them trying to control this. If they won't pay for anything unless its done the way they want it than by all means take another year.
My father isn't happy we're waiting until next year but he's not helping at all, which is fine, but I told him unless he's helping with payments his suggestions are merely that, SUGGESTIONS. Like your parents he can't have his cake and eat it too when it comes to our happiest day.
Fitness Minutes: (24,370)
601 4/1/10 10:55 A
Your wedding - your dream! Mine ismy first wedding and I am 46 years old. It is 24 people and I am super excited for it! That is how it should feel for you...
Maybe you should have a smaller wedding that will require less planning and be less stressful --- especially since this is your second marriage. My first wedding seemed to take on the life of a major Broadway production and I was determined this time to keep it low key. I've been engaged for more than a year now with the wedding just a half a year away and I hardly ever feel stressed.....although I do get excited sometimes (but in a good way)......Take a deep breath, look around you, decide what really matters and then enjoy the ride........Good luck !
In starting my research for my wedding :), I've read that if your parents are footing the bill you have to consider their opinions and compromise a little more. The less they are paying for, the less leverage they have.
Thank you for the advice. We got the date set for next June which is what I wanted. And since most of the stuff (Decor, bouquets, invitations, party favors, wedding cake, etc) we are doing a diy... my fiance also decided that he was going to make the food for the reception (he's a cook) and he informed me that no one would do the food except him. And also if we decide to do the dance, we don't even care if there is a dj..or if it music preloaded on our MP3 players that we plug into a system, we just want to have fun and dance, and share our first dance etcetera. I think my parents are starting to see that I'm not trying to make them spent bunches on this
Fitness Minutes: (24,370)
601 3/28/10 5:52 P
Your dream, your wedding, your day. You may want to ask them one thing they would like to see as a compromise however you do NOT want to regret anything afterwards. Be kind yet firm.
I agree with Navygirl, you have to tell your parents in a kind but firm way that it is your day (and your expense) so you have to do what is right for you.
Planning your wedding should be a happy time not a time to dread. They are taking all the fun out of it for you.
Good luck and congradulations!
Fitness Minutes: (4,338)
799 3/28/10 3:22 P
Your parents want the best for you. You're their little girl still. Therefore, they think they know whats best for you.
Sit them down and tell them what you told us. Tell them this is your day, not theirs and as much as you love them and respect their opinions, you are going to do this your way. You didn't get what you wanted the first time so you are going to get what you want this time.
I always thought that being engaged was going to be a happy time, I know it's hard to be happy when theres the stress of the wedding planning, but still...I am finding myself almost depressed over all of this.
This is my second wedding, my first wedding was at the courthouse and we were supposed to have a big wedding a few months later and by the time the big wedding had come around I had called it off.
Since this is the first actual wedding I am having I/we want to do everything to make it the best day ever. But the problem is that I feel like my parents are trying to tell me how to do my wedding. We'd decided to wait til next year to get married and my parents aren't happy with that...they want us to get married this year. We also want to do an outdoor wedding and reception with a dance...but that goes into the "they didn't have a dance at their wedding." We are making plans to get married at the lake but my parents would be happier if I either got married at their house...or at a church..outside with trees. Because of the fact that everything is being so controlled I want to wait til next year that way we can pay to have the wedding we want, which also caused a disagreement...it's so frustrating.
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