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COLDFY
Posts: 51
2/25/13 2:43 P

Thank you all for your kind words. I guess I know deep down that he was out of line but it still knocked my motivation. Your support and words have motivated me tonight to keep within my range!



MISSRUTH
Posts: 3,407
2/25/13 12:00 P

I think you did fabulous-- you made the best choices you could under the circumstances, and you stayed within your range. And to top it all off, your BF is really supportive.

I know it's hard to ignore people's comments at times. But my personal experience is that there are going to be a lot of idiots more than willing to share their opinions, whether we ask them to or not. Perhaps they were wishing you'd shared the wine, or were envious of your venison when they were eating mac & cheese. Maybe they have no girlfriends and were just being hateful because their housemate has a GF to come spend the weekend.

I so totally agree that there is no point reacting to their comments-- if you ignore them they'll eventually quit doing it because it doesn't get a rise out of you. Just keep doing what you're doing and know in your heart that whatever they say, they have no idea what they're talking about.



STARDUST2K4
Posts: 1,344
2/25/13 11:46 A

I'm sorry your boyfriend has an ignorant room mate. Just ignore him. It's likely that he won't be the room mate for very long, and even if he is, over time, your actions will show that you were serious.

My fiance's brother was our room mate for a while and it was when I had just started losing weight. He would say terrible things to my fiance about my weight, and then talk about how 'hot' other thinner girls were. He would give me dirty looks when I ate 'bad things' not understanding that this is about moderation not crash dieting, but I ignored him. Finally, we had a huge blow up, and we weren't room mates anymore. My fiance and I moved on, and didn't talk to him for quite some time. My point is, I kept going. We have all since forgiven each other, but here's the thing: I have the satisfaction of know that I kept going, and the last time I saw him, he seemed legitimately surprised that I actually stuck with it.

I'm not saying that you should do this to impress your boyfriend's room mate, but my point is if you just keep doing this for you, and ignore the snide comments and just keep doing what you're doing, then eventually your actions will have proven that you were damn serious and that their words had no effect on you.

You can do this! Ignore the jerks!



SP_COACH_NANCY
SparkPoints: (158,833)
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
Posts: 46,222
2/25/13 9:51 A

Hi COLDFY,

Learning to let go of the comments others make can be difficult, but they don't have to be--they may not be in a place where you are to begin making the lifestyle changes so it is far easier to knock others who don't. What I have learned in my own 8 years journey is that I must do right by me and not for anyone else. Maybe you should comment with something that says, well, I want to put the best fuel in my body but still enjoy a good meal and then change the subject.

When you dig in your heels and they know what they say will not get a rise from you, the comments will stop, but if every time you put the energy to defending your choices it becomes a battle of wills, which you don't need.

Be strong, be firm and keep coming to the message boards and sound away.

I am proud of you!

Coach Nancy



COLDFY
Posts: 51
2/25/13 4:53 A

I'm only a week in and I already need a motivation boost - not a good sign. I went to visit my boyfriend at the weekend, who is a student and lives in shared accomodation in a different town. I hadn't really spoken to him about how unhappy I was but I did this weekend. He was incredibly supportive and understanding - perfect. The problem is the people he lives with. They constantly make comments about us having 'extravagent and 'calorific' foods, with lots of wine and I just don't think it's true. On Saturday (extravagent day) I picked up venison burgers at the local shop for 2, because it was that or chicken drumsticks. On Sunday (calorific day), we made *a* sweet potato pizza to share with the leftover veg as toppings and we shared two bottles of wine over the weekend (which I included in my tracker).

I felt proud of myself for staying within my range in a situation I didn't have control over. Then the housemate made his comments and I just wanted to cry. It's comments from strangers that hurt me the most. I don't think the guy even thought he was out of line.

Does anyone else encounter hurtful comments from friends of friends or similar? What can you do to overcome it without crying or becoming confrontational?



 
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