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MISSRUTH Posts: 4,223
2/23/13 6:16 A

I'm going to go out on a limb here, and say that your boyfriend's transportation problems are not YOUR problems. If you're not happy staying with him (and you said you're only there, to provide him a ride to/from work)-- well, go home. Let him figure out another way to get a ride. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but you're not married to him. It sounds like he just wants you there for your car.

And I totally agree with, start where you are. Make some small changes and then build on those. Many of us live with people who don't share our commitment to a healthy lifestyle-- but Spark is a great source of encouragement and support.

PJJJSAGE Posts: 104
2/23/13 1:10 A

IA----it's time to stop focusing on what you can't do and time to start focusing on what you can. Whatever your boyfriend wishes to eat is his business---it shouldn't stop you from making the decisions that are best for you.

While I'm not quite understanding the situation with the crockpot---maybe you could go home on the weekends, make something there, and then portion it into meals for your week?

The other thing is to get back into some kind of exercise routine. There are plenty of videos right here on spark that you can do in a limited space or quietly (like yoga and pilates) as to not disturb neighbors or sleeping boyfriends.

CIRANDELLA SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (34,361)
Posts: 6,094
2/22/13 10:35 P

I'm so sorry your boyfriend's less than supportive, and I can see how your living situation could throw up some apparent roadblocks toward better eating. So it might be best to adopt them a few at a time, since even if you had optimal living conditions, gradual changes are always the kind we accept for keeps. Try working on upping your water intake for starters...then exercising a little more, then increasing the proportion of fruits and veggies in your daily food intake. Also, start the very helpful habit of tracking what you eat every day. This won't affect your boyfriend's eating choices at all; you don't have to eat the same foods, either. I've been married for several thousand years (well, 35) and my husband and I very rarely eat the same things. It's all okay; we eat what we need to be healthy, and his preferences are about 360° different from my own.

Focus on being gradual and consistent, and take only one day - one, 24-hour package - a day, rather than seeing yourself in more absolute (and unrealistic) terms of success or failure. You'll soon see progress reflected on that scale, and you'll feel better and better about well as more optimistic.

ASIANPEAR77 Posts: 130
2/22/13 4:23 P

I joined a group of people in a "biggest loser weight loss challenge". it's just some nice added support i don't have on an everyday basis from my family. I'm not in a relationship and don't want to be until i am 100% confident in myself.

Think about it this way - push yourself harder each day, than you pushed the day before. Say you want some chocolate (i know i do!) drink a glass of water and then if a full glass or two doesn't take away that craving eat a small fruit.

Have you tried snacking on frozen fruit when you are looking for the sweets? I like fresh frozen blueberries, they are so small and with them being frozen i *feel* like i am eating more than i actually am!

Keep your head up and think positively!


DRAGONCHILDE SparkPoints: (60,917)
Fitness Minutes: (15,360)
Posts: 9,709
2/22/13 3:25 P

Remember two things:

1) You can only control you. Your boyfriend can't be forced, and you can't rely on him to help you. You must be responsible for yourself, your choices, and your habits.

2) This is not all-or-nothing. Instead of trying to change everything, start where you are, and start making individual changes. You don't need a juicer nor a crockpot to be healthy. STart first by tracking everything you're eating for a week. Don't worry about being "healthy", this is to figure out where you are. Then, each day, focus on a way to make each choice healthier.

You know how I got started on this journey? I started mixing my pasta half regular, half whole wheat. seriously! I couldn't make the switch completely because I didn't like the texture. But half and half? No big deal.

Then, I started cutting back on soda.

I started walking three times a week. I didn't have a gym membership, nor do I have any real space to work out here at home. You don't need equipment, just a good pair of shoes.

Start where you are. Don't worry about where you were. Focus on the next decision. How can you make it more healthy? Don't worry about tomorrow, focus on this moment, right now. And once you've made that decision? Look to the next.

DOCTORWHO732 SparkPoints: (467)
Fitness Minutes: (118)
Posts: 1
2/22/13 3:16 P

Hi everyone. First let me introduce myself. My name is Julie and I just turned 24 earlier this month. The reason I am here is because a year ago I got into a healthy lifestyle I really enjoyed. I was exercising pretty regularly and I was eating really well. Then October happened. October is my busiest month of the whole year because I love Halloween. So of course I noticed as things started to stop. I stopped eating as healthy (I love cooking, but lack the proper space and equipment to work so that helped in killing my good habit) I overindulged in way too many sweets and comfort foods. Then I stopped working out as much. Then my sleep schedule got messed up because of work. This carried on through November and December. Then I got the juicer I wanted so bad. However, my juicer is at my folks place because I got stuck having to live with my boyfriend for the time being. He killed his car and we couldn't afford to fix it so I'm here while it's winter so he doesn't have to walk 5 miles to work at 4am in the cold. But, he doesn't want me moving in completely (he has a room mate and I can't afford rent) so he won't let me bring my juicer or crock pot over. I've been trying to get motivated again, but I keep giving into eating bad and not working out because our living situation sucks. Neither of us can afford to live together in our own place. I'm just really losing hope and I am frustrated and angry and sad. Even when I talk to him about how we have to give up these bad habits we just go right back to them. I hate this. I hate abusing my body, but it's so hard to change. I'm in tears right now because I want so badly to get back to where I was last summer. Please I need help. I thought my boyfriend would be enough of a support system, but he isn't and he helps facilitate the bad habits. Thank you guys for your time.

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