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Naysayers in your life?



 
 
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ANGIEBOO31
SparkPoints: (1,669)
Fitness Minutes: (700)
Posts: 13
8/20/12 7:14 P

I too have had many naysayers in my life.. it's hard when the people you love the most aren't behind 100%. But I do realize also that many people have their own opinions about weight and weightloss.. take for example people who feel everyone was just born a certain way.. and that is it..

I know now through much teaching that my eating habits were horrible.. Never eating vegetables.. only getting high calorie foods no wonder I gained the weight I gained.. But now through realizing what I was doing and changing those poor habits into good healthy habits I am a much happier person and I can only hope those naysayers will look at me as a good example and want to be as happy as I am today..

I have lost 50 + lbs so far and although unlike most people.. it's very hard for me to take off weight I've been working with a nutritionist and so I know I'm doing the right things.. but unlike some people if I eat any bad food.. I don't lose weight or I gain a pound or two.. so realizing no one is the same when talking about how food reacts in our bodies is very important..

For a long time I also looked at a small sized person and thought how could they be eating pizza and fries? Now I know they probably have cut out a meal to do that.. but I don't neccesarily think that is a healthy option.. we all have choices in life and I just do what feels best for me..

I also Want to tell You Lilly emoticon emoticon because maybe this is exactly what you need right now.. Please just focus on the positive things people say and block the negative. when u are thinking positive great things happen emoticon

Keep on the right track and you will find you feel much better in whole.. Remember also you hold the power to let negativity effect you.



LILLY_78
SparkPoints: (11,295)
Fitness Minutes: (13,644)
Posts: 222
8/19/12 7:58 P

You all might be very right. I only gave an example of my coworker as someone who feels the need to put me down though For her specifically I know she doesn't work out because she's told me she doesn't. I also know she doesn't watch what she eats because she's said that as well. I know this about her and accept it. It's not her favorite topic and as a result I don't talk with her about this stuff after making all of my changes. As for discussing my food choices with and that with her I really don't. The last converation that came up is when myself and another coworker who also tries to eat healthy were talking and she overheard.

It wouldn't matter if she was a size 2 or 24. People of all shapes and sizes can put you down if they're not in the same place. My point was about the people who go out of their way to put you down or try and sabatoge you. While I get that moderation is key there are different ways to go about telling someone.

Maybe their not happy with themselves, or they're not ready for change. It could even be that misery loves company and they want nothing more for you to be right there with them.

I realize I need to take it with a grain of salt but it's difficult. When you're excited about changes you want to share them. Not walk on egg shells because it might cause conflicts.



LARISSA_NY
Posts: 113
8/19/12 9:12 A

Audreyuk is right - you might be a victim of your own assumptions, here. How do you know what exercise your co-worker does? More importantly, how do you know she never has to worry about her weight? Did she say that? Maybe she's lost a lot of weight and been very successful at keeping it off and it drives her nuts to see people continue to do deprivation diets that she knows are unsuccessful. Would you feel more comfortable with her advice if it came from someone who was a size 24?

Or maybe you're right and she's just a busybody who, despite never having had to worry about her weight, is still somehow spot-on about how to lose it. In either case, there's a simple solution. You say that she talks about this in response to you talking about what you eat - if you don't want the response, don't talk to her about what you eat. Unless you're a chef, that's sort of a strange topic of office conversation anyway. Why in the world would you be talking about eating a salad? How would the subject even come up? And how are you talking about it? Is it like "Man, I had the best salad the other day," or "We went to this fantastic restaurant but of course I'm on a diet so I could only have a salad"? If the first, her reaction is kind of weird; if the second, it's entirely understandable.

With regard to other people, there are always naysayers. Learn how to deflect them. A simple "Thanks for your input, I'll give that some thought" can sometimes do wonders.



CMCOLE
Posts: 2,667
8/19/12 9:11 A

Another view:

She's correct.
You can eat just about anything, in appropriate quantities.

However, perhaps she also finds it annoying that you're announcing your meal choices to her, as if she, somehow, should be eating differently?

While I could be entirely wrong in my viewpoint; it's possible that she doesn't want to hear your opinion any more than you want to hear hers.



AUDREYUK
Posts: 607
8/19/12 5:52 A

Honestly, your coworker doesn't seem like a naysayer to me (well based soley on what you posted that she said.) I think actually that that IS the key--everything in moderation. I lost 35lbs on SparkPeople in 2009 by eating everything I wanted in moderation. It worked so well because I NEVER felt deprived or like there were things other people could have I couldn't. To me, this made all the difference and I realized that the reasons I had failed to succeed in the past were because I was always trying to force myself to eat things I thought were healthy, only to be jealous of the people eating what I really wanted to eat.Eventually the jealousy would win and I'd feel like a failure.

VERY few people are blessed with amazing metabolisms where they can eat whatever they want. I suspect your size 2 coworker has just figured out the key to success. Unless you are sure she was really trying to make you feel bad, you might want to consider that she was actually trying to share some of her wisdom.



WVMOM1
SparkPoints: (742)
Fitness Minutes: (197)
Posts: 12
8/18/12 11:01 P

Yep, I have many in my life who think I'll just give up on this whole thing in a week or month or two. They keep me motivated even more to want to meet my goals in spite of them!



XXICYLADYXX
Posts: 92
8/18/12 10:58 P

"they tell you it's okay, or tempt you just so they don't feel so bad about themselves." - trailqueen88

This is so true! I was just discussing with my friend how people in our class act really immature and get drunk and blackout then try to convince others they should be doing it too! I said that they are just trying to rationalize their bad behavior by getting others to join in. (I'm 25 years old, these aren't kids even if they sound like it!)



TRAILQUEEN88
Posts: 10
8/18/12 10:37 P

Yes naysayers are in my life too. I think some people don't want to be the only ones eating crap so they tell you it's okay, or tempt you just so they don't feel so bad about themselves.

You have to go against the grain, keep working hard at getting healthy for you not for anyone else. You can do this! Rise above the negative influences.



LILLY_78
SparkPoints: (11,295)
Fitness Minutes: (13,644)
Posts: 222
8/18/12 8:55 P

So I have been trying hard lately to reform my life by eating healthy and exercising. I've even taken up trying new forms of exercise that friends have recommended. Aside from all my positive changes I have several people in my life that feel to constantly point out my faults, what I'm doing wrong or generally make fun of me every step of the way. They seem hell bent of trying to get me off the healthy track.

Take for instance one of my coworkers. Every time I mention eating a salad or something healthy she goes out of her way to point out it's all about moderation and I should eat what I want. This of course is coming from a size two who never works out and never has had to worry about her weight a day in her life.

Do any of you have people like that in your life? Why is it when you try a new way of eating or trying to be healthy others will go out of their way to stop you? How do you deal with it?



 
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