I'm sorry that happened to you. =( Like most overweight people I've been bullied too. Back in school in the hall some boys I never met would say "Watch out for the big girl!!!" like I was the monster in a horror story that was going to plow people over with my size or something. They were so lame. There are a bunch of stories like that but I refuse to let them hurt me anymore. I am better than that.
I hope you heal from your experience and don't let it make you afraid. If it were me and they harassed me again if I happened to see them I would call the police and report them for street harassment.
Yeah, although I can't condone it and know it is unacceptable and pathetic behaviour, in a way, when it comes from TEENAGE boys, you can kinda say, welllllll they are... "teenage boys" - they do stupid things...
But 25-35 year old men? ABSOLUTELY pathetic.
Fitness Minutes: (23,190)
263 3/21/13 3:49 P
I know the feeling just a couple months ago I was going to a doctors appointment and outside where a group of GROWN men maybe less than 35 but older than 25 and as Ialked by them the stared snorting and making oink sounds I was like REALLY??? at me docs appointment I called them stupid but they kept doing it but I felt horrible!!!
WHAT gave them the right to make me feel like crap so I said the hell with them I am way better than they are so I just let it go I said screw them they are more messed up if they gotta make fun of somebody going to the doctors and making sounds!!!
SO IGNORE THOSE LITTLE BOYS!!!! You are WAYYYYYY BETTER!!!!! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!
Great job losing the weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep it up!!!
Fitness Minutes: (10,889)
66 3/21/13 1:48 P
That is so mean, and I hate that you had to experience that. They are bullies and feeling insecure about themselves, so they lash out at others to feel better about themselves. You were right to ignore their idiotic remark, but I know it must have hurt. Losing 10 pounds and working out and eating right are amazing accomplishments and you should feel proud of yourself.
For the Sparker who endured the taunt from the old man at work, that is blatant harassment! There are laws about that! People are NOT allowed to say what they want when they want--even if their filter has erroded with age. Ick. Sometimes people suck.
Sorry this happened to you. Don't let their hate and rudeness effect you. You are strong and doing the things you need to do for you.
Fitness Minutes: (50)
2 3/21/13 11:02 A
People have no compassion anymore, no respect for fellow human beings. consider this generally people, even kids will tear down someone else to lift themselves up. They have self esteem issues so they are going to be looking for someone to bring down because it makes them feel better about themselves. I know its hard to be called names but just remember where you stand and know that you are making a difference in your life and becoming healthier. surround your self with support and motivation!
And again, I just want to say that Karma always comes back around. In high school some classmates were nasty about everything they thought was "uncool"...the type of car driven, the clothes worn, the perfume used...they nitpicked everything, including the overweight students/teachers.
Karma comes right back around when I link up w/ these classmates on facebook and see that they themselves are overweight.
BUNNKYKICKS, I work w/ the elderly and 5 years ago when I was losing my 40 lbs, an elderly man said "are you losing weight?". I replied that I was and he said "good for you, but you could stand to lose a little more". aaaarrrrgh.....you know how younger people have no filter? Yeah, the filter goes away at an old age, too, huh?
Fitness Minutes: (6,835)
610 3/21/13 6:41 A
Don't listen to the children even if they are in their teens. I used to get name called all the time and I know how much it hurts inside. Just remember, you are a unique person and there is no one else like you in the world like you. You are precious, beautiful, kind, caring and loving person from the inside out. Fill your space with positive flow and let the negativity roll off your back like water. keep going forward one step at a time.
Bunny kick....Just saw your blog about the prejudice in your work place...How awful....Sorry you had to endure all that.....There is so much fat hate out there...I heave experienced so much of it, too....I think the world, media, etc. Should be more focused on eliminating these prejudices....Life should be about life and love and KINDNESS.....
Fitness Minutes: (740)
26 3/21/13 12:06 A
I just saw your post and I am so sorry stupid stuff like this happen. I know how you feel though, we went to the beach when I was around 5 mo pregnant so I wasnt showing showing but being "thick" it could just pass as a large tummy and I was all swollen and miserable. While walking on the boardwalk (thinking I would get in a lil exercise after supper) these guys drove by and mooed at me. I was so mortified and am still so embarrased to think about it. Stuff like this does scar no matter how logically it is looked at. I just know I want to keep at it and look way better one day lol-ha how they like that!
I am sorry this happened, I know how the thoughtless comments of COMPLETE STRANGERS can really simmer and stew and HURT.
I had something similar happen to me IN THE WORKPLACE. From a GROWN ('senior' age) MAN. Who for some incomprehensible reason, decided to compliment my co-worker on her slimness (she thanked him, albeit somewhat uncomfortably) and then he proceeded to announce at top volume "I HATE FAT PEOPLE." Looking me dead in the eye while he did it.
It got worse.
One day I'll write a blog about it.
This happened several months ago, and it still puts my adrenaline up, and still makes me rage, and still HURTS.
I do not know how to advise you to "let it go and don't be hurt by it" because it DOES hurt. Just.. don't let it stop you. Do not let it have power over you. Just keep on going, head held high. Their words show a defect in THEMSELVES and not in YOU.
MLJSPARK, you are a kind person and you don't deserve to be spoken to like that. Ever. You did absolutely nothing wrong.
The best thing I would think of if I was in your position? I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and be proud of myself for it...and I would remember that when these wastes-of-healthy-cells mature enough to realize what being kind actually is, they'll get theirs and it'll hurt them as much as it hurt you. Karma, baby. It always comes around. Hang in there!
Fitness Minutes: (3,832)
196 3/20/13 1:22 P
Im sorry for the pain those insensitive kids placed on your heart! Everyone here gave great advice. You are doing wonderful! and a 3 mile walk from work is a great work out, please dont let jerks ruin your progress or your life! Keep up the good fight!
Fitness Minutes: (210,915)
20,760 3/20/13 11:16 A
As Eleanor Roosevelt once said,"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
Your first comment was spot on. Never ever let the rude comments of teenagers get you down. Kids (and plenty of adults) can be down right cruel and malicious. You did the right thing by ignoring them. They really do think they're being cool by insulting people they don't know in front of their friends. Honestly, they're nothing but a bunch of idiots. Don't waste your valuable time thinking about this incident.
Believe me, if you had been a teenage girl, the comments would have been much worse. You just happened to be their target for the day. Kids make rude comments. They should know better, but they don't. That's why you need to put this incident way behind you.
Sad reality: Some people suck. There's really nothing to say to take the sting out of the words. Just keep going. I have a trough of hateful crap that was either spewed at me by strangers when I was heavy or told to me by an old boyfriend. If you stuff it inside and let it defeat you, no one gets hurt but you. If you determine that they are idiots, and just keep going despite how it makes you feel, then you will add to your strength mentally and emotionally with the added benefit of fixing what they felt erroneously justified in pointing out.
This is one of those things that says way more about them than it does about you.
You are right to chalk it up to middle school boys showing off. Middle school is all about finding out where you fit in and in figuring out norms. So they were doing both. They were trying to fit in, by encouraging each other, and by putting you in the "out" group. And they were trying to conform to the norms of what is acceptable as far as body type. That's them.
Now, on to you. 1. You lost 10 pounds. 2. You are taking active steps to improve your life, through food choices and exercise. 3. You reacted with grace under fire by not responding to the little twerps.
Sadly, I have shared a similar experience. I was taking a walk on my lunch break when a couple of guys I was walking past said, Hey Fatty, you need to walk faster to lose weight!
It really upset me at the time, but I realized that people who say those hateful, hurtful things, to perfect strangers are probably people with some issues. We all know teenagers have issues. I am doing good by me, they don't know me and my challenges, and it is their loss.
I'm sorry you let them bother you. Kids are especially cruel.
Every time I want to retort back to someone or I get mad at someone when my hubby is around, he reminds me of the line in Night At The Museum. Robin Williams as Teddy Rosevelt was counseling the Ben Stiller character Larry when he got mad at the monkey. Teddy says to Larry, "Who has evolved? WHO HAS EVOLVED?!"
Next time carry your music with you to concentrate on something else.
I have been in an arguement with someone before and he told me to get some slim fast!! I thought it was hilarious because it showed how sad of a person he was. He could not speak intelligent but stoop low! I know it hurts but remember that you are smart, beautiful, and a good person. Hurt people hurt people! Remember that....
Fitness Minutes: (11,017)
1,778 3/20/13 8:01 A
A few years back when I belonged to curves there were a couple of male teens loitering in front (it was a strip mall) and one of them made a comment that I was too fat for the equipment (he out weighed me by at least 75-100 pounds) so I walked up to them and I said oh really theres a scale inside why dont you come in with me and will see who's fatter than who. He turned bright red and his skinny friend busted out laughing. Not my proudest moments and I dont recommend confronting people but I have to tell you if felt so good.
We have all been there with those hurtful remarks in our lives....This is a good blog, with great ideas on how to handle these low lifes! I'm sorry that all of you went through this....I have even been insulted at church!!! It was hard...but I eventually got past it...Hang in there..and keep on sparking..keep on doing the best you can,because you are ALL special!
Fitness Minutes: (29,046)
1,994 3/19/13 10:55 P
Way to go Nancy for speaking up. I am stunned (but maybe not) that their parents were with them.
Sometimes, it's absolutely necessary to call out boorish behavior, else the boors think their spewing is respected in decent society.
You have to remember, when they said that rude comment to you, you were in the middle of a three mile walk. You were actively working on living a healthy life.
What were they doing? Standing around? Getting ready to stuff their faces with junk food?
Even at my thinnest (which was pretty darned thin), I had people throwing rude comments at me about my weight, my thighs, my butt. People like that look for a target of opportunity. They feed off of your misery. You have to learn how to dismiss them. That takes away their power.
In grade school, there was a bully. Her name was Jennifer, and she constantly gave me crap about my weight. I later learned that her father was a serious jerk and abusive. So, often kids at that age bully others, because they are getting bullied at home.
Just breathe deeply and keep moving. Those boys are probably sitting in front of video games right now eating junk food. Meanwhile, you're making positive changes!
“Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength” -- Eric Hoffer
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… do the thing you think you cannot do." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal: my strength lies solely in my tenacity” -- Louis Pasteur
Do not give your power to their ugliness. You are more amazing right now than they will ever be.
Fitness Minutes: (112,042)
46,222 3/19/13 10:23 P
I am so sorry you had to experience this. I had something very similar happen to me last spring. I was running in my neighborhood when an SUV filled with young boys (middle schoolers) shouted not so nice things to me. I just ignored them. As I made the turn, I see the parents getting out of the car with these young boys. I generally am very intimidated to say anything these days (you never know) but I was so shocked that these parents allowed these very cruel comments to be said. I walked up to the parents and boys and said, "one day a group of young boys may say the same thing about your wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt or grandmother that you found acceptable to say to me. I wonder if it will be as funny when it happens to them? You don't know me, but I have every right to run in my neighborhood without cruel comments being shouted at me." I started walking away--I was not surprised that I did not get an apology from any of these people, but let me tell you they were all quite uncomfortable while I went on my rant--trying to do everything and anything not to look at me.
I would not suggest that you do what I did, but that moment in time, I felt I needed to stand up and tell the world that I have the right to walk, run whatever in my neighborhood, city, town, etc, without the cruel remarks. It makes me feel sorry for them that they feel belittling someone else makes them feel empowered. And I will never allow anyone hold power over me.
Take care! HUGS!
Edited by: SP_COACH_NANCY at: 3/19/2013 (23:06)
Fitness Minutes: (32,923)
21,689 3/19/13 9:57 P
I am sorry that you had to suffer this abuse. I would be inclined to remind yourself that you are doing something about your health, and it is a pity that they don't do something about there rude mouths. Just treat it for exactly what it is - coming out the mouths of rude, ignorant people who are trying to be big, but making themselves look small!
Fitness Minutes: (29,046)
1,994 3/19/13 9:21 P
Well said, VATRUCKER!
MLJSPARK, I am so sorry you were the random target for those knuckleheads (and believe me, if you hadn't have been there, they would have found something else to pick on about someone else).
Just know that no matter what you are doing today, you didn't go around being hurtful like those idiots. Do not give them the satisfaction of getting to you (I know it's hard!).
At the end of the day, I'd rather have some lbs to lose than have horrible personality traits.
Also, kudos to you for taking the walk!! And know this: for every idiot out there, there are far more that see you and think, "Man - I should be doing what she's doing!" or "Good for that lady!" Personally, that's what I always think!!
Congrats on the 10lbs lost, too! Woo-hoo, you!
Fitness Minutes: (36,922)
526 3/19/13 9:04 P
Listen, this should not be an issue, certainly not one to set u back. Consider the source and move on. Ignorant, cruel, and stupid people young and old alike are a permanent fixture in todays society. According to what u wrote u ARE doing something about your thick ass, u are losing by walking 3 miles. Hang tight and don!t let this set u back
Fitness Minutes: (13,444)
155 3/19/13 8:53 P
I joined SparkPeople almost three months ago and I've just recently hit the 10 pounds lost mark! I had a rocky start but my motivation has been really high and I've been doing great for the past few weeks. And then today... I didn't have access to my car so I took the bus to work and then decided to walk home. It is three miles from my work to my home so I figured it would be a great way to get in some exercise. I was not even two blocks into my walk when I passed by a group of boys of perhaps middle or early high school age. As I walked by them one of them commented quite loudly about my "thick ass" and that I needed to "get some Slimfast." I didn't even acknowledge them and just walked on past, and at first I attributed the comments to young boys wanting to look "cool" in front of their friends. But a three mile walk is a long time to let rude comments just simmer, and now I feel like a total wreck. How do you pick yourself back up when someone makes you feel like you don't even want to be seen in public?
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