Hi sparkpeople:) this is my first time to write anything in the message board in my life and I never thought that I need to write it but today I really need help and felt that I need to write and ask for advice not from my family or friends but from the people who are going through the same thing as I am.
I really need motivation and a push to keep going again till I lose the last few pounds and stop it from getting back. The problem is that I lost 44 pounds thank god I never thought that that was possible at all and everyone who see me either dont know me at first or is totally shocked that they are silent for a few seconds. I know that it is a wonderful weight loss and that it should be my motivation however I originally lost 50 pounds and I gained 4 pounds in one week and each day I pig out and eat anything and everything when I am even NOT hungry at all. I just enter the kitchen EAT EAT & EAT for NO REASON. So i thought I might be emotional eating or something but I wasnt sad or depressed at first. But when I found that the weight is coming back I of course became depressed and I am now in the self destruction phase and I dont know what to do.
I even put on the fridge a message to stop me from pigging out and the best picture for me BUT for some reason I EAT & look at the picture and feel like it is mocking me...telling me THAT I cant do it, that why I am even trying when I gained weight pigging out and stop working out or doing anything
I really do need help... I want to lose another 10 to 15 pounds and I feel that for what I am doing now to my body I will be the same as I was in the year before. I dont want to lose a year worth of hard work to go away
Thank you for listening to me