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My workout buddy doesnt want to



 
 
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BLUETIGERCLAWS1
SparkPoints: (6,200)
Fitness Minutes: (7,193)
Posts: 163
1/13/13 10:09 A

I had the same problem with my younger sister. I would say lets do this and she would make an excuse as to why she couldnt. "I have homework" "I will later" "Im tired" blah blah blah. I tried for two months to get her involved and make it fun for her but she really wasnt interested. Its been about a year since I stopped trying and ive lost weight, she on the other hand has gained 25 pounds. I keep trying to help her but sometimes its a lost cause. I say talk to her and if she doesnt start to become motivated stop trying. She will follow when she is ready and at least she wont be bringing you down in the process.



ELLETURNELLE
SparkPoints: (891)
Fitness Minutes: (860)
Posts: 51
1/13/13 9:53 A

I'm sorry to say this, but, you are hanging around with a little kid. Little kids don't want to work. She is not mentally capable of making the right decisions regarding her health and fitness level. Yes there are more mature 16 year olds in this world ,but, she isn't one of them. Go to the gym alone or find a more suitable (older) workout partner. Good luck to YOU. Lay off of the kid, she doesn't want your help no more than the man in the moon.



EXPOGIRL50
SparkPoints: (7,094)
Fitness Minutes: (1,975)
Posts: 275
1/13/13 8:26 A

Gotta workout



CMCOLE
Posts: 2,667
1/13/13 7:21 A

just a thought and agreement with others

- perhaps the gym intimidates her
- perhaps she doesn't know how to set goals
- perhaps nobody has ever sat down with her and given her a bit of guidance on how to choose good nutritional foods
- may be the gym isn't her "bag" yet - walking local trails or whatever with her could be a good beginning

ask her what interests her
ask her about her goals
LISTEN without interjecting comments, unless asked



JANIEWWJD
SparkPoints: (220,744)
Fitness Minutes: (196,720)
Posts: 6,887
1/13/13 1:56 A

Maybe she's just not the right buddy for you.



TRISSA3
SparkPoints: (9,688)
Fitness Minutes: (4,820)
Posts: 802
1/12/13 8:05 P

You can lead a horse to water... Even though she says she wants to lose weight, if her own heart isn't into it, it won't happen. As an older person, I allowed myself to gain weight. I didn't like the way I looked in the mirror, but didn't feel like changing my lifestyle. It wasn't until I was in size "what the he--" jeans with severe muffin top and a waistband that felt like it was literally cutting me in half that I finally put the brakes on. We all have our own "come to Jesus" moments. Maybe that's what she needs. In the meantime, don't let her sabotage your efforts.



CSROBERTSON621
SparkPoints: (76,368)
Fitness Minutes: (46,005)
Posts: 1,307
1/12/13 7:57 P

I am 40 now, but sympathize a lot with your friend, as 16 was the age when I first gained a lot of weight (and it was a REALLY big amount) after having been normal weight up to that point. It was hard, hard, hard being an overweight teenager. It's already an age when you really feel everyone is scrutinizing your every move, so getting up the courage to go work out in front of people when you KNOW you have some weight to lose takes a lot of strength. And as we all know, it takes a lot to get yourself going anyway -- she's just facing that extra mental obstacle. (Even if she's acting as if it's just laziness, I would bet that at least part of it is just sheer nervousness. )

As a practical matter, I think getting yourself into the habit of working out is the hardest thing to do, no matter what age. Your body fights you, and you just feel like there's such a long way to go. But if you can get there, and just DO it often enough, everything falls into place before you know it. See if you can get her to commit to taking it just ONE workout at a time (and then another, and another). Even better if you can find a class (or some other activity) that she actually likes. Another thought might be for YOU to ask HER to help you. Say you really need her to hold you to the workouts, so she's actually feeling responsible for more than just herself. (You may have already tried this, but worth a shot.)

Good for you, by the way, for trying to give her a hand. Really, you're already doing one of the best things you can do for her by letting her know you care, and want to help. (And that you're her friend not matter what.) No matter what she does in the near term, the very fact that she knows she has a support system will help her reach the point where she is ready to really commit to herself and her health. I was in her shoes once, and didn't get a positive word from anyone. I really could have used a friend like you.



JIACOLO
SparkPoints: (279,408)
Fitness Minutes: (124,017)
Posts: 16,697
1/12/13 7:31 P

Take her out for coffee or a healthy dinner and talk about goals to set. Maybe she needs to have a plan for her fitness. Make a motivational poster for her (and you) to hang up as a reminder. Cut out pictures from magazines that show clothes you would like or has sayings that will help you stay focused on your goals. Good luck!



TACDGB
Posts: 6,130
1/12/13 6:33 P

a persons heart has to want to change their body weight and it sounds like to me that she just isn't into it. I get that you are worried about her. Set a good example by what you eat. Maybe the gym is not her thing. Try a fun class that you could do together. be honest with her and tell her how you feel.



ARCHIMEDESII
SparkPoints: (139,204)
Fitness Minutes: (208,750)
Posts: 20,618
1/12/13 5:08 P

AKRAEMER21,

Perhaps the reason your younger friend doesn't want to work out at the gym is because she's intimidated. Many members have posted how intimidated they feel at the gym and wonder what they need to do to get over their fear. Your friend may have similar fears which in turn cause her to bail on your workouts. Maybe she feels she'll be the only fat girl there. You have to reassure her that people of all sizes, shapes and ages go to the gym for FUN. If she believes she has to workout to lose weight, losing weight is going to seem really daunting especially if she feel awkward.

Instead, suggest taking a daily 30 minute walk around the neighborhood to slowly ease her into a regular routine. If you both have membership to the same gym, check the schedule to see if the gym has Zumba. Most gyms do these days. Zumba is a fantastic Latin based DANCE workout that is FUN FUN FUN.

She needs to learn that exercise isn't just about burning X calories in Y time. At her age, exercise should be fun. Teach her that exercise isn't just about being on a treadmill. Exercise should be enjoyable because when we enjoy doing something, we look forward to doing that something each and every day.

Right now, she may consider going to the gym the same way she thinks of GYM. And we all know what gym class was like in high school. That's why you should consider a class like Zumba. Do something fun together so that you'll both enjoy exercise.

Just a few random thoughts.





Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 1/12/2013 (17:12)


MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 13,646
1/12/13 4:48 P

Be a good example to her. I am sure she knows exactly what she is doing.





AKRAEMER21
SparkPoints: (912)
Fitness Minutes: (211)
Posts: 20
1/12/13 4:42 P

I have this younger friend that wants to lose weight but everytime I pick her up to go work out she slacks off or if she does workout then right away when she gets home she eats alot and stores food in her room... I understand she is young (16) and I am (22) but seriously she wants to and needs to lose weight but how do I get her too. I know I have been lacking motivation in the past but I finally figured out a way to get back into working out. I even tried to get her to walk but she doesnt want to I am worried about her how do I get her to keep going?



 
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