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ABLEWASI Posts: 13
6/4/13 2:28 P

Firstly, what a difficult and heart wrenching issue to have to walk through. I felt my heart clench when I read it. I've been going through some difficult changes with my 21 year old but I realized instantly that the journey your family is on, is much more serious and life altering than the issues my son is presenting me with. I pray for you, your family and all families in general that they may have the strength to supersede the difficult times with love and respect and togetherness. Good luck to you and thank you for reminding me that regardless of the problem our children need us. God bless.

TIME_TO_SHINE1 SparkPoints: (12,736)
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Posts: 436
6/2/13 3:31 P

I sobbed as I read this. You are an amazing women. Thank you for sharing I will be checking my girls. emoticon

LUCKYREDNJ Posts: 185
5/30/13 8:33 P

(((((HUGS)))))

OZIETWIN Posts: 680
5/30/13 3:51 P

Thank you for your openness and honesty. I will definitely check on my boys more often. You are a strong woman!

JENSTRESS Posts: 1,927
5/30/13 9:31 A

Thank you so much for sharing. It was incredible. You are a strong mommy. I will definitely be keeping an eye on my 13 year old!

COCOONGIRL SparkPoints: (9,917)
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5/29/13 6:45 P

On March 20th my son text me from school and said that he "accidentally took" my husband's medicine that morning....being an ER nurse I asked him his symptoms and when he said he was dizzy I told him to go to the nurse...about a half hour passed and I finally called the nurse who had not heard from my son at all...I asked her to please go find him...she found him wandering around outside....she called me and said that he was sleeping in her office....I had my mom go pick him up and bring him to me at work...he convinced me and the doctor that this was an accident and showed us the medication he had taken...it was Requip for restless leg.....my mom took him home and he fell asleep....that night when I got home I got him up for dinner...talked to him....felt pretty good about the fact that he accidentally grabbed the wrong bottle that morning...decided I would move their medicine away from each other and went to bed....before I fell asleep I checked facebook and I had several messages from my son's friends stating that Matthew had taken the meds on purpose....I went to him and confronted him....tearfully he told me that his girlfriend had broken up with him and that he wanted to take the medication to sleep....we both cried...I was heartbroken that my child had chosen to take medication to numb himself ....we both fell asleep...

I woke up first that morning...I talked to my mom and my husband about the medication and the fact that because he had chosen to take medication to numb himself I felt that he needed to go and get some help....I heard him moving around in his room and I went in and hugged him....I told him that I felt that it was important to go and talk to someone about his feelings and his choice to use the medications to numb himself....I will never forget his words "Mom I have been snorting oxycontin for the last year..."

How , as a parent, do you react....I had no anger...just such sadness and helplessness....

" I can't do this alone mom...I tried....I can't stop....but I want to stop...I don't want to end up like Joey mom...."...Joey was my nephew who, in December, had overdosed on heroin and died...he was 30...my sister kissed his urn and put it in the ground....I felt so bad for her...and now here I was facing the same disease my nephew had battled for 18 years and LOST ....I don't want you to end up like Joey either....my baby....my beautiful boy.....HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN....HOW DID I MISS THIS....

I am an ER nurse...I am SMART...I am HOME...I am AVAILABLE....we have a GREAT relationship....and my SON is snorting oxycontin that he is buying in ENGLISH CLASS....he is snorting it off of the SINK in the bathroom...crushing it with his school ID....my happy child....my son ....the one that won awards for gymnastics and Tball...who played football and baseball....JESUS WHY???

I composed myself....hugged him....walked to the living room and told my mom that I needed help....she had been the executive director at the Caron foundation...yep she missed it too....she called her friends and contacts and within 6 hours of me finding out that my son was using he was in rehab....

That first night I cried for 8 hours straight....I got up that next morning and called the rehab...they told me that Matthew was in the Adolescent Male Primary program and that he did not have to stay in detox....I could call and talk to his counselor after 11....I went to church...I BEGGED God to protect him....I don't remember the service....I don't remember the music...but I do remember feeling safe....I called Matt's counselor after the service and he told me that Matt was sitting right there with him and that he loved me and he was NOT homesick....GREAT...I was homesick for him enough for the both of us....

The next 4 weeks were a blur...I would cry at work...I would tell people that asked...I am NOT ashamed of my son or of his DISEASE....I told Matt to hold his head high....DO NOT BE ASHAMED....you have a disease...would you be ashamed that you have diabetes ....or cancer....NO so hang in there my little man...do what they tell you and follow direction.....we were allowed to go to chapel on Sunday and I could hug him...I LIVED from Sunday to Sunday for those hugs....

We went to the FEP (family education program) and I learned a ton....my mom is sober 33 years...I grew up in this program....but MAN did I learn....having a child that is an addict and having a parent that is an addict are TOTALLY different....I am a HUGE enabler....I would make his bed for him and make it BADLY so that my husband thought it was HIM that made it....WHAT???...anything to protect him...and where did it get him....into rehab....(not that my making his bed made him an addict...I WISH it was that easy....) ....

So this is where MY LIFE needed to change....I started going to Alanon...and I LOVE it....I am surrounded by people who know EXACTLY how I feel....they have dealt with what I have dealt with....they made their kids beds...covered for their thefts....they have done it all....THANK GOD for these people....

I brought my son home 10 days ago...he has 39 days sober....he is going to AA everyday...he is going to aftercare...he is making phone calls everyday....he is doing a super job, for today,....his new motto "sober fun's the only fun" and then we laugh...because it is true and because we can't do anything but laugh....TODAY my son is sober....I am proud of him....no matter what....

If you made it this far there is something that you should know....two things really....my son is in NINTH grade and has been using since SEVENTH grade....he can't drive and he has already been to rehab....watch your kids....be vigilant...don't think that you are invading their privacy...INVADE IT.....

And second...if you are going through this you are not alone.....there is help and hope.....

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