The Dr. should talk in a caring and understanding manner. He needed to be dropped. There are a lot of good Drs. out there. I hope things are going much better for you now.
Fitness Minutes: (345,647)
15,924 4/4/14 9:33 P
Your doctor needs to be there for you, but in a positive way! Good luck and may God bless you!
4/4/14 8:55 P
No doctor should ever shame or bully a patient. It doesn't matter the reason why they're doing it. It's not okay. My doctor is very matter of fact, but not in a mean or cold way. That's just her personality. So when we're talking about my weight, she acknowledges that she isn't at a great weight for herself, and is willing to talk about the efforts she's made to change that. I almost find her easier to talk to and I rely on her opinion since I know that she'll be honest with me. However, I have changed doctors when I felt someone wasn't helping me. I don't want to just be handed pills to fix something. I want to know more about why it's happening and what else I could/should be doing to help fix it. Maybe in the end, the pills are necessary, but I'd like to exhaust my other options first. My doctor is also open to more natural or homeopathic treatments, which I really like. Instead of pain pills, injections, and more surgeries, I'm doing Pilates, massage, and anti-inflammatories for my back. With her approval, because it's working.
4/4/14 4:13 P
Sometimes, you have to admit your doctor is an old "butt wipe", and nothing more, just because he is a doctor does not mean he knows everything. I'd look him up on the doctor reviews and post your review on those sites, for one thing. Any doctor who thinks "shocking" you or "shaming" you to do something is downright stupid. No one can be coerced into eating better, exercising more, on and on, it has to come from within the person. Just like reading the rules to a sport won't make you an athlete, just because you know the rules. Ask your friends for referrals to their doctor, that they like and trust. It's 2014, no need to accept shame from anyone, doctor or not.
Fitness Minutes: (36,342)
2,545 4/4/14 4:12 P
Wow, the additional comments make him sound horrible! I would definitely find a new doctor. You do not need anyone that mean in your life.
When my doctor asked me if I planned to eat myself to death she was ready with a plan to help me lose weight and keep if off. I knew things were out of control and she was ready to help me be in charge of my life and my eating.
I'm glad you got the wake up call because in the long run you will be better off...but you don't need mean and nasty.
Fitness Minutes: (107,402)
4/4/14 4:00 P
I saw your post about Prozac after I had replied. Wow, just... wow.
I have a female GYN who is also in peri-menopause. She REALLY gets it. We discussed options, risks etc. and she made helpful suggestions, none of which involved Prozac. Some of your life changes-- exercise, losing weight, healthy diet-- may help with symptoms (you probably already knew that too!). But if not, definitely find a new doctor who is going to help and be more supportive. So glad you are back!
JANCARD..yes I had seen my test results that came back to me online 24 hours after I had them and I knew well in advance in going in that I had to get back on my program. He was very cold, dismissive and I knew the moment he mentioned Prozac that things were not going to work out. Still made me feel very bad. But today has been a good day and I am going to move forward and I have the support of my Spark people.
Fitness Minutes: (107,402)
4/4/14 3:42 P
Hi, Glad you are getting back on track and back on SP!
As far as your GYN, while that may have been a wake up call, just your test results alone could have done the trick to get you to turn things around, without feeling shamed. So I'd also suggest finding a GYN who you feel comfortable with and feel is respectful. It might be effective for some people (particularly if they've been ignoring advice), but it doesn't sound like you need that since you were doing so well before you had so many other worries to handle.
There is a right way and a wrong way to get a message across. My doctor years ago told my wife if I didn't do something she would be calling him to tell him I died. He wasn't rude or insulting. I did lose weight at that time but didn't keep it off at that time.
If he had been insulting I may not have been as motivated. He was matter of fact but not rude.
He is a new doctor because my old one died last year. He is an older man and I thought maybe we would be a good match because he might understand the menopause problems I am having but he just said to take Prozac for that. But maybe it was what I needed to get back here but I will find a new doctor.
4/4/14 3:30 P
I'm so sorry to hear about your recent troubles and very glad to hear that you had a good workout today and and are motivated to get back to taking care of yourself!
Edited: Ha ha, slow internet connection, everyone already said what I was thinking, so I took some stuff out.
I'm sorry your old gyno died, that sounds terrible.
I've had to switch ob/gyns when I felt their assumptions about me caused them to recommend treatment that didn't match my actual goals for myself. It's a pain, but it's better to switch than to deal with a doctor who isn't listening.
I'm so sorry they made you feel stupid, because you know you are not! I hope you have a great day today!
Edited by: DROPCONE at: 4/4/2014 (15:40)
4/4/14 3:30 P
"Made me feel like some middle aged stupid woman."
I'm sorry you felt this way (were made to feel that way). No one should be made to feel badly.
I don't know your doctor, but maybe it was his/her way of shocking you into doing something? ....however, I'm not sure if that's right...but you are here, again...so...(It's a tough one!!)
Are you glad it happened? Some people need that "kick in the pants" to get them going again.
Maybe just find a new doctor, but yet continue on your path of health conscious being (food choices, weight loss and exercise).
Thank you so much for you post. I needed to hear the words you said. The moment I left his office, (OBGYN) I called my husband and told him that I will changing doctors. He agreed. I don't know why he treated me like that. My old OB died last year which hit me very hard because it was a horrible accident and so I got this new one thinking it would be okay. My other doctor always treated me with dignity and respect. Was very hard to stomach this.
Fitness Minutes: (36,342)
2,545 4/4/14 3:24 P
On one hand I'm sorry he shamed you, on the other if it was a wake up call then maybe that was his goal.
My doctor asked me if I was trying to eat myself to death. It was harsh, but it was exactly what I needed to hear.
I think that its even more important to take care of ourselves when we are someone else's caregiver. If we falter, who takes over?
Remember to male changes slowly and let your changes become routines. You know what to do and I know you can do it!
Fitness Minutes: (52,535)
4/4/14 3:19 P
I know you didn't post this necessarily look for advice, but my advice? Find a new doctor! No one should put up with being treated the way you were and no one has the right to treat you the way your doctor has! It sounds to me like you've been to hell and back over the past year and for that I am truly sorry; I hope both you and your husband are on the road to recovery. Obviously you are already well-aware of what happened to you - you certainly don't need your doctor coming down on you as well. Whatever happened to doctors who encourage us to be healthy, not berate us when we have lapses? Ridiculous!!!
Hi. I had almost gotten down to my goal weight in 2012 and then in 2013 all hell broke loose in my life and I gained back exactly what I Lost which was 35lbs. My husband was hospitalized three times and then diagnosed with cancer, I came down with this SVT heart beat crazy thing and then we moved. There is a lot more but needless to say, I gave up on myself and taking care of myself because I was so busy taking care of everyone else. And then....I went through menopause. After years of stellar labs at my doc, my triglycerides went from 83 to 257 in one years time! If truth be told, I am not surprised. If you had seen what I put in my mouth, I am surprised it was not worse! But my doc was so hard on me. Made me feel like some middle aged stupid woman. But I am back. Had a good work out this morning and I might do some chair boxing this afternoon. Hope everyone is happy and doing well.
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