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QUASIOR SparkPoints: (8,860)
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Posts: 167
5/1/12 11:00 P

I was very happy when my daughter was weighed at the hospital last time - The nurse was happy to let her know she's officially out of the 'overweight' range and is now in the upper 'healthy' range for weight and height.
Yes she was tubby when she was an older child, much to do with her psychological problems and related issues like epilepsy. She could never feel 'full' no matter what or how much she ate. She was diagnosed in the last year with epilepsy, and somehow her anti-seizure meds are making her happy and not seeking out food all the time. She is very nearly a normal teenage now. But not only that puberty has given her height and breasts (OK so her breasts are Ds already and she is only 12!), but somehow sped up her metabolism. She isn't ever hungry, she is tired a lot though and not as active as she could be. Who knows how active she is at school though?
You may want to look into what makes your child not want to be active or be extra hungry. A certain amount is normal (check how a toddler will eat one day won't be the same the next day). It might not be a surface thing. I don't believe children are born lazy nor are they ever hungry and need to be filled, there is usually a reason why this might be so. Also it's a good thing if they are hungry from time to time and learn to handle it in a healthful manner (we all get into situations when lunch just isn't convenient b/c we've gotten super busy so it's put off for several hours), we don't binge just because lunchtime was past us by do we? Well I don't anyway, I am more likely to make a light meal and eat tea at the same time as usual. Usually the reason why we're late compels our attention anyway and I barely note a hungry tummy. I'm sure a lot of people are with me on that one.
Luckily my daughter doesn't care so much about what other people are thinking, it's not in her make-up - she may have autism/Asperger's. She's just not picked up on those social cues. But now I'm on my weight loss journey she's talking body/weight often (she's the first to notice and comment/compliment my weight loss) and she's got a positive body image (she knows she's got a beautiful healthy and strong body)!
Note: she never actively attempted any measures to lose weight, but as she got happier and her body 'sorted itself out' on meds/puberty/whatever it was, she is where she should be now.

SOCAL_LEE SparkPoints: (35,211)
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5/1/12 4:32 P

Yes, there are wonderful ideas here about emphasizing a healthy lifestyle for the whole family. I just want to go back to something another poster mentioned about the physiological changes that early teens go through. We need to be careful in how we react to our daughters' changing bodies especially. As their bodies gear up for puberty girls do put on weight and it can be surprising to see them change from being slim little girls to being "heavy" -- but a lot of that weight will be redistributed to breasts and hips over the next three or four years, not to mention the fact that girls usually have a growth spurt in height at this time too. And I think we need to be mindful of the fact that often that weight gain can be really distressing for the girls themselves. It's freaky to have your body just start changing shape on you! So it's especially important to stress healthy choices rather than weight loss for our prepubescent daughters.

JUSTDOIT011 Posts: 1,411
4/29/12 2:01 A

These are some great ideas! None of my 3 siblings and I were overweight as kids or teens, despite having overweight parents, because they made good choices for us early on-- my mom packed our lunches to school from 1st-7th grade. So that gave us a good foundation for when we got to have school lunches from 8th-12th grade, as far as choosing healthy foods and beverages. We always had a gallon or two of milk at home, and we'd drink milk with breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. So none of us craved soda or sugary drinks because we were used to milk, and liked it! We were all 4 in sports that we enjoyed. I tried 6 sports before I found what I really liked (tried gymnastics, ballet, cross country, softball, tennis, soccer, before I found my love-- track & field). So enrolling your kid in a sport, and being patient with them as they find out which sport they enjoy the most & can hopefully stick with through high school as well. Those are just 3 suggestions I have for you!

JADOMB SparkPoints: (106,111)
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4/24/12 2:47 P

Great job Crazylove, that is just what you need to do. Keep the Faith

CRAZYLOVE1228 Posts: 3
4/20/12 3:52 P

My son is ten and overweight we have been making changes for awhile, sending lunch instead of hot lunch, no juice fresh fruit instead, skim milk, more whole grains, i dont buy soda or juck food. I also make him go out and play for at leat an hr a day. With these changes he went from 142 to 136 in the last two months. I dont consider this a diet but making healthy choices. These changes r for the whole house too not just him.

Edited by: CRAZYLOVE1228 at: 4/20/2012 (15:54)
JADOMB SparkPoints: (106,111)
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4/19/12 7:15 P

I agree with the last poster, you should be concerned, but you should lead by example and bring and healthy food and exercise programs into your house. DON'T nag her though. For one thing, early teens are still going through many physiological changes and to start messing with that can cause worse issues in the future. Young kids can handle a little bit of extra weight, it is no big deal. It is only a big deal if in fact your child has an eating disorder that is obviously affecting their life. Either eating too much or too little is bad for all of us. So handle this with kid gloves and SHOW your kids how to live healthier. And you better NOT get caught sneaking a candy bar either. Keep the faith.

HOLISTICDETOXER SparkPoints: (32,314)
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4/18/12 6:12 P

You don't "worry" about it now. You make changes now.

- Sit down as a family for healthy meals in the morning and the evening. Involve your daughter in planning and preparing those meals.

- Pack a healthy lunch THAT YOUR DAUGHTER LIKES. All the healthy food in the world won't make a difference if your daughter tosses it in the garbage and borrows money from her friends to buy a bag of chips.

- If you're going out for dinner, skip Subway. Take her to different locally-owned restaurants where she can experience different cuisines. Maybe she'll love vegetable curry at an Indian restaurant, or caprese salad at an Italian restaurant, or falafel at an Egyptian restaurant. Now is the time to expose her to food beyond calorie-controlled sandwiches!

- Be active as a family. For the sake of being active. In addition to spending meal times together, you need to be active together. Go for a walk after dinner three nights a week. Go for a bike ride on the weekend. Head to the pool together on Saturday- spend a bit of time together and give her some freedom too. Take a mother-daughter Zumba class.

- Give her opportunities to also be active without you. Does your local YMCA have drop-in badminton? Can she go for a walk around the lake with her friends on the weekend? Can she join the school track team? Let her experiment with different activities until she finds one she enjoys.

GARDENSPARROW SparkPoints: (15)
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4/18/12 11:16 A

That's definitely a hard issue to address. And, I think your first step should probably be to discuss this with your daughter's doctor to make sure the BMI is accurate. With the way our culture is, I'm sure you don't want your daughter to become obsessed with weight at such a young age-especially if it's not warranted.

However, I know you also want her to be healthy. So, first of all, I would try and make sure the focus is on eating healthy and things that are good for our bodies-not losing weight. I believe it also helps when healthy eating/exercise is done as a family (which you may be doing) instead of just putting the focus on her.

In fact, I found some good information on this topic in an article at http://bit.ly/HS9cjZ and http://bit.ly/IZoQue. I've also heard the book The No Gimmick Guide to Raising Fit Kids by Robert S. Anderson has some tips on helping children develop a healthy lifestyle. So, might give you some guidance.

Well, I know you have your daughter's best interest at heart. Good luck with this!

LEAHLEGS Posts: 184
4/13/12 6:22 P

To start, BMI is not a perfect indicator for health. My husband is 5 foot 6, and is considered obese, although most people who look at him wouldn't even call him overweight. He's all muscle in his chest, and since muscle weights more than fat, he'll always way more than the chart thinks he should. BMI isn't everything.

Besides that, please be careful before you put your ten year old girl on a diet. Like so many people here, I started dieting at that age, and by the time I was in high school, I had lost and gained the same fifty pounds at least three times. I would have months where I ate nothing but broth soup and diet coke. She's at an age where she's forming a lifetime relationship with food.

Arm her with information about how food fuels her body. Help her choose whole foods that will help her grow stronger, not bigger. Just don't restrict her so she becomes entirely obsessed with food choices like so many of us here on spark.

BUFFEDSTUFF-- Posts: 2,520
2/3/12 7:20 P

The important thing is that your daughter is healthy and happy.

SONYABEAR3 SparkPoints: (320)
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2/2/12 4:18 P

My youngest daughter has a weight issue as well, not a big one...i dont think?...she is 13yrs old, is 5ft 5in tall but is between 150 lbs ish last time she told me her weight a couple weeks ago...but i know at this age she could go either way if i dont help her do something now to prevent it. She does have a large frame tho, broad shoulders, she very much takes after her father & his side of the family who are all very tall & larger in frame as well & they all just happen to be grossly over weight. Me on the other hand am 5ft 2in & was always 110-120 lbs till i had my 3rd child 2yrs ago....so i know she will never be as small as me nor do i expect her to. But i do know she is slightly overweight now, I keep telling myself that maybe it will all even out as she gets taller & taller but no such luck yet. She used to be a skinny minny up till about 3-4yrs ago & her height & weight just started taking off. I dont want her to live a life of unhappiness due to her weight, i just dont know what to do for her. I have never had an open pantry policy, junk food is minimal, I cook 90% of our dinners, we do eat out on occasion but not at really bad places too often, she walks to/from school everyday at a fast pace & has PE daily, plays Just Dance on the Wii alot, not allowed to sit around on computers or video games all day, even in summer when she is swimming all the time so i know she is active but i see her weight increasing more & more & i am afraid it is due to her over eating & binge eating after school when i am not around...when i am around i actually have to tell her enough & that way too much to be eating or snacking. I try to show her portion sizes & calorie info on the packages of things but nothing is sinking in. I prepare our plates & have been portioning out appropriate portion sizes but it just is not working...I even had her sign up on here so she could track her calories & learn 1st hand how much is really in what instead of just piling it on her plate so she is more aware but her interest lasted 1 day. I dont want to make her feel bad by pushing her to control herself & learn how to eat properly but i dont want her to become obese & unhealthy like her fathers side of the family...i feel like she needs an intervention or something but dont want to make her have a poor self image of herself at the same time.

MISSCALFO SparkPoints: (11,444)
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2/2/12 1:03 P

I agree with what everyone is saying, please don't wait for anything! I grew up overweight and my mother took me to a doctor at that age and we started a healthy program for me.

I'll be the first to admit that growin up overweight was not fun at all. Being teased by your own family hurts the most...but I had to see for myself that being healthy was the only way to feel better about myself.

It has to be her decision to become healthy. Don't push her...she might take it as an attack, I know I did at that age. And remind her that the only reason her cousin is making fun of her is because she is hurting too...throwing the punches before she can get hurt first.

I hope everything goes well!!!!

JENMC14 Posts: 2,707
2/1/12 12:16 P

I would definitely try to do something now. You don't want to really let her in on it, though. It's a delicate balance. My almsot 11 year old daughter knows I track my food and am on a "diet" and has commented on how skinny I am, but my husband and I both try to emphasize with her that it's not about how much you weigh or how you look, but how healthy you are. That sometimes weighing less is a by-product of working out and eating well. I want to avoid her having the body image issues I did as much as I can. But, if you don't don't get it in check now, it could get worse, and the teasing and issues could start since middle school isn't that far off. If don't already, start to pack her lunches,maybe start doing so once or twice a week. Limit junk. Really watch what you all are eating. Get her into an activity such as gymnastics or volleyball, something where she'll be moving. Try to take family walks or ask her if she wants to do a DVD with you or osmething. If you have a game system that allows it, get some dance or fitness games. My kids love just playing "dance party" where I throw on music and we all dance around like idiots. That can get your heart rate up. I would definitely not ignore it, but you may not want to rely on BMI alone. Take her to the doctor. Although, unless she is unusually tall, a size 14 on a 10 year seems big to me. My almost 11 year old is pretty "normal", I'd guess, not super skinny or anything, and is still wearing a 10 in some pants.

GLITTERFAIRY77 Posts: 8,023
2/1/12 11:01 A

I don't need a BMI calculator for me to know my daughter is overweight. I know I need to encourage her to be more active, but I don't want her to get all self-conscious-y the way I was when I was her age. I weighed about 150 by the time I was 10. My daughter will be 10 in June, is about 5' tall, and weighs 115. So, even though she's overweight, she's already doing better than I was. I think because I really encourage her to drink water and try to vigilantly limit junk. I do not think it is healthy to harp on a child about their weight. I mean, be realistic, and tell her that we need to work together to get healthy, you know?

CRACKERJACK2825 SparkPoints: (15,218)
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Posts: 262
2/1/12 6:11 A

I checked my ten year old daughter's BMI this morning. I was checking mine and I thought why not check hers, too. I went to www.cdc.gov and pulled up their BMI calculator specially designed for chldren and teens. After putting in all her information, I was slapped in the face with the reality that MY daughter is overweight. She should be in the 5th to 85th percentile for her height and weight. She is in the 91st percentile. emoticon emoticon

My first reaction was to laugh it off, but then I realized that this is NOT funny. My husband and I talk to our daughter about her weight, I make healthy foods at home and we rarely ever eat out. When we DO go to a restaurant, it's Subway 99% of the time.

My husband's niece is twelve, and she is overweight. This child eats nonstop. Cookies, cakes, large pizzas by herself, two liter cokes, you name it she eats it. The only person in her dad's immediate family that is not overweight is her Granny. The only people in my immediate family besides me is my two brothers. I know that there are overweight people on both sides of the tree, but I don't want my little girl to be one of them! Her twelve year old cousin (that weighs as much as I do) already makes fun of my daughter for being "fat." (God, how I would love to delete that word from existence!!) My daughter does have a little belly on her. I bought her size fourteen jeans a month ago and they are already too little.

I guess my question is do I go ahead and worry about it NOW, or do I put it off for a little while and see if she "grows into" her weight. I was never a chubby child, and neither was my husband. I just don't want my baby to be made fun of anymore, by anyone.

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