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OHINICETOSEEU
Posts: 214
8/25/10 9:18 A

A lot of women are raised to please others and to form their identities based on those around them, including children and romantic partners. This is often -communicated- directly or indirectly by their mothers.

The way my sister was raised and the way that I was raised...it was absolutely disgusting how different all of it was. My mom reinforced age-old gender stereotypes, telling my sister that she would never get married if she slept with someone before marriage, and that she would get "killed" if she came home pregnant (even in her 20s). When my mom was no longer able to care for my dad, she started barking orders at my sister, forcing her to make dinner for them, and etc. Whenever my sister would complain about constantly having to do work for them, my mom would fire back, "Well, you're a woman, and life always sucks for the woman."

I think it's a natural inclination for many women to form a self-view based on who's around, but there are some who are, fortunately, able to divorce themselves of that ancient, misogynistic concept. There was another thread around here about what guys find attractive, and it was sad to see women actually turning to men begging for an opinion.

Who cares what men think? The scary thing is that I suspect that many of the women replying were slightly overweight, if overweight at all, and looking for more of an excuse to make unnecessary changes to themselves.

I'm hoping that we can continue to improve each subsequent generation. I certainly don't want my daughters to hold onto these harmful, archaic stereotypes the way that my parents' generation does. I was encouraged to go to a university and make a career for myself. My sister was encouraged to go and get certification in a random career and start working, and she is far more intelligent and talented than I am. My parents just saw "girl" and immediately thought "lesser."



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,637
8/25/10 8:46 A

Ur right, a Jazz tune called "Killer Joe"
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Armsport, I thought that WAS your name!
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ARMSPORTS
Posts: 1,310
8/25/10 8:13 A

Apparently I have a man crush on two of my extremities.



BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
Posts: 4,109
8/25/10 6:55 A

It's a jazz dude, right? So I guess one of your passions in life as well. I think your other passion wouldn't pass the censors. emoticon



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,637
8/25/10 6:42 A

.....and mine?
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BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
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Posts: 4,109
8/25/10 6:39 A

I've noticed that but never put that together. Great observation.

But by extending your logic, I've wrapped my identity in beer. emoticon



HAMNKING
Posts: 1,818
8/24/10 10:05 P

Women also seem to need to wrap their identity in that of others. You see a lot of screen names like "momofsoandso" and "bobswife" and "dogmom" and that sort of thing.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,637
8/24/10 9:38 P

I always like the one, "I'm married to the best man in the world!"

Um, no you're not, I'm here.
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CCBRAGA
Posts: 329
8/24/10 9:22 P

Yeah, thanks for the replies. I was pretty sure I wasnt going psycho lol.

I mean, occasionally I will see something from a guy that says something about his wife/gf/fiance/etc., but its usually stuff that matters, not "well my bf and I went to the mall and like we saw like a little puppy and like it barked then my bf like bought me one lol"



AQUAPOWERS
SparkPoints: (17,012)
Fitness Minutes: (28,749)
Posts: 616
8/24/10 10:02 A

Thanks BREWMASTERBILL. I'll have to remember that one. I do that for the most part anyway, but it's a great thing to reinforce.



BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
Posts: 4,109
8/24/10 9:43 A

Yup, I think you've found the key to long term success.

I can't remember which journalist it was, but during an interview she was asked "what is the key to a successful marriage?". Her answer was "A bloody tongue". I think about that whenever I want to argue about something stupid. Bite my tongue. It bleeds from time to time, but it works out.

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ARMSPORTS
Posts: 1,310
8/24/10 9:27 A

I am in total agreement on that Bill. Fortunately, after 20 years of marriage, my wife and I have learned to pick our battles.



BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
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8/24/10 8:55 A

Definitely AS. Although I'm thoroughly convinced that it's hard wired for a wife/girlfriend to be annoyed with their husband/boyfriend about something. I've seen no exceptions to that in my life.



ARMSPORTS
Posts: 1,310
8/24/10 8:48 A

I think a lot of it is probably authentic frustration with the boyfriend/husband. I know my wife thinks I'm a pain in the ass because of the amount I eat, the frequency with which I eat, etc. much of which goes contradictory to her goals.

Then again she would never get on a message board to discuss it and seek advice so you may be on to something there.



BREWMASTERBILL
SparkPoints: (31,080)
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
Posts: 4,109
8/24/10 7:11 A

Ya, I've noticed a lot of co-dependence in that regard. I usually skip those blogs or message posts. There was one the other day where a girl was bored because her boyfriend went out with his friends. Come on. Get your own life and interests.

I'm attracted to independent women. Any signs of co-dependence and I immediately lose interest. Although I'm currently out of the game. heh.



CCBRAGA
Posts: 329
8/24/10 4:32 A

Have you noticed...that more often than not, a female will post "my boyfriend and I do xxxx" when replying to or starting a thread?

For instance, they will say "my boyfriend and I eat out a lot." Or "my boyfriend needs to gain weight." Or "I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend."

What do you guys think? My opinion is that since we all know that women cant be single for more than 1 hour, they also are programmed to show that men are attracted to them, hence why they subtly communicate that at least one person is attracted to them.

Discuss.



 
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