A lot of women are raised to please others and to form their identities based on those around them, including children and romantic partners. This is often -communicated- directly or indirectly by their mothers.
The way my sister was raised and the way that I was raised...it was absolutely disgusting how different all of it was. My mom reinforced age-old gender stereotypes, telling my sister that she would never get married if she slept with someone before marriage, and that she would get "killed" if she came home pregnant (even in her 20s). When my mom was no longer able to care for my dad, she started barking orders at my sister, forcing her to make dinner for them, and etc. Whenever my sister would complain about constantly having to do work for them, my mom would fire back, "Well, you're a woman, and life always sucks for the woman."
I think it's a natural inclination for many women to form a self-view based on who's around, but there are some who are, fortunately, able to divorce themselves of that ancient, misogynistic concept. There was another thread around here about what guys find attractive, and it was sad to see women actually turning to men begging for an opinion.
Who cares what men think? The scary thing is that I suspect that many of the women replying were slightly overweight, if overweight at all, and looking for more of an excuse to make unnecessary changes to themselves.
I'm hoping that we can continue to improve each subsequent generation. I certainly don't want my daughters to hold onto these harmful, archaic stereotypes the way that my parents' generation does. I was encouraged to go to a university and make a career for myself. My sister was encouraged to go and get certification in a random career and start working, and she is far more intelligent and talented than I am. My parents just saw "girl" and immediately thought "lesser."
Yeah, thanks for the replies. I was pretty sure I wasnt going psycho lol.
I mean, occasionally I will see something from a guy that says something about his wife/gf/fiance/etc., but its usually stuff that matters, not "well my bf and I went to the mall and like we saw like a little puppy and like it barked then my bf like bought me one lol"
Fitness Minutes: (28,749)
616 8/24/10 10:02 A
Thanks BREWMASTERBILL. I'll have to remember that one. I do that for the most part anyway, but it's a great thing to reinforce.
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,111 8/24/10 9:43 A
Yup, I think you've found the key to long term success.
I can't remember which journalist it was, but during an interview she was asked "what is the key to a successful marriage?". Her answer was "A bloody tongue". I think about that whenever I want to argue about something stupid. Bite my tongue. It bleeds from time to time, but it works out.
I think a lot of it is probably authentic frustration with the boyfriend/husband. I know my wife thinks I'm a pain in the ass because of the amount I eat, the frequency with which I eat, etc. much of which goes contradictory to her goals.
Then again she would never get on a message board to discuss it and seek advice so you may be on to something there.
Fitness Minutes: (12,713)
4,111 8/24/10 7:11 A
Ya, I've noticed a lot of co-dependence in that regard. I usually skip those blogs or message posts. There was one the other day where a girl was bored because her boyfriend went out with his friends. Come on. Get your own life and interests.
I'm attracted to independent women. Any signs of co-dependence and I immediately lose interest. Although I'm currently out of the game. heh.
Have you noticed...that more often than not, a female will post "my boyfriend and I do xxxx" when replying to or starting a thread?
For instance, they will say "my boyfriend and I eat out a lot." Or "my boyfriend needs to gain weight." Or "I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend."
What do you guys think? My opinion is that since we all know that women cant be single for more than 1 hour, they also are programmed to show that men are attracted to them, hence why they subtly communicate that at least one person is attracted to them.
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