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Menfolk and the Holidays



 
 
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SUZIEQUE77
SparkPoints: (8,147)
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Posts: 935
12/4/12 4:26 P

My father absolutely despised Christmas, but I won't get too deep into that. His mother also was not exactly the Santa of the year. She was the only grandma I had and actually much nicer than my father. But there were 8 of us kids and her Christmas present to us most years was two pairs of those brown garden gloves, not wrapped, and two weeks after Christmas. They two pairs were for all 8 kids! If not for my mother, we definitely would not have celebrated Christmas in my house.

My husband's mother died on Christmas Day, 2005, and his daughter died later in the year 2006. He has definitely not been too much into Christmas since that. But he goes overboard buying for me. He seems to feel he must outdo the previous year, every year. I wish he would stop doing it. He will not listen to me when I tell him he needs to stop doing that!





SUMMERSHORTS
Posts: 200
12/4/12 12:38 P

In our house it is me who loathes Christmas. My husband is the one who always wants to get the tinsel out and decorate, with me doing my BAH HUMBUG grumbles. My best Christmas lunch offering one year was toasted cheese sandwiches, haha! In my defence, though, we were living in a country where summer and the festive season coincide so blowed if I was going to be trapped in the kitchen cooking and sweating.

KJ - loved the Christmas lights and music clip on YouTube! We have thought of doing the 5th of November Guy Fawkes bonfire stuff here in Portugal but don't think it would go down at all well in a predominantly Catholic country as Guy and his mates were Catholics. The holidays here are mostly church related, too, or independence/revolution events.

We live in a very rural area and went to our closest city on Sunday afternoon - what possessed us I do not know, the first Sunday in December! - and did not stay very long as the amount of people out shopping was simply overwhelming. It's easier not to bother with the whole debacle. We don't have family in this country and so, lucky for me, it will only be the two of us. It might be toasted cheese sandwiches for lunch again.



PEORIAPOLE
SparkPoints: (42,434)
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Posts: 715
12/4/12 10:06 A

I hate Halloween-least favorite holiday

Thanksgiving is good. Family and football, not a big fan of the food though.

Day after Thanksgiving is a tradition-Santa Claus Parade

I enjoy Christmas. I put up the outdoor lights the weekend before Thanksgiving, but don't turn them on until the day after.

My daughter and I won the battle this and got a real tree. It's a little mishappen, much like me. I guess I follow my dad, he loved Christamas time.

A well know stress avoidance for Christmas shopping....pull into the back side of the parking lot and park in the first available space, enjoy the walk. Don't get caught up in the traffic caused by morons looking for a spot closer to the store so they have 10 less feet walk.

Matt




KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/4/12 9:48 A

I think the holidays, for me at least, seemed a bit too senselessly dramatic, idk, to each his own.

Edited because the original response was for a different thread on a different team.

Edited by: KJFITNESSDUDE at: 12/4/2012 (11:36)


MANDIETERRIER1
Posts: 13,554
12/4/12 9:03 A

My dad seems to like Christmas more than my mom.

Although I did date a lot of guys who were like bah humbug. We didn't date very long.



ARTSYGIRLV2
Posts: 1,229
12/4/12 8:43 A

I have the best husband in the world. He is so cute about buying my gifts, making a big mystery about it, wrapping them himself (they look so funny!), helping me with all the decorating, shopping, and cooking.....been married 19 years this Christmas Eve.



MOTOMAMA
Posts: 2,000
12/3/12 7:25 P

Some years my husband has been less involved, others more, this happens to be a year he's excited about it so he's super involved and I love it :)



VICSAC
Posts: 418
12/3/12 7:21 P

Most of the holiday falls on me. But I do not see it as an issue. One of the perks of being married is not having to do everything yourself. While it is true that I do most of the shopping and decorating for Christmas, because he does not want to. It is also true that he does a lot of other things by himself that I don't want to do.



OBIESMOM2
SparkPoints: (61,086)
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Posts: 4,472
12/3/12 1:25 P

reading the posts about the hassles of Christmas shopping...wow. I'm so glad we stopped that long ago. I did enjoy finding the perfect gift for folks, and I'm pretty good at it. But I like getting to visit with family and friends without all the other stress MUCH better.

For those of you in a financial bind, please consider discussing drawing names or buying gifts for young children only. There is no reason to go in debt buying things people do not need or want (or even appreciate some times). It wasn't my idea to do this in our families, but I sure am glad it was suggested. DH and I didn't go in debt, because I did a little gift shopping all year. But now I can take more names from the Angel Tree and give things to people who have NEEDS instead of wants.

as far as decor & Christmas music...BAH HUMBUG! I'm so tired of it all by Thanksgiving. We do not decorate at home. I decorate the office. Sometimes I help decorate the church.

my heart goes out to all those folks in retail who have to listen to Christmas music all day at work, every single day, from Thanksgiving on. I don't know how they keep their sanity.

let me just stay home & watch some great B&W Christmas movies on TCM. Or the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Karloff's voice. With a fire in the fireplace. Then I'm a happy camper.
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KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/3/12 12:56 P

@BlueNose: Thanks for the invite!
emoticon Merry Christmas! emoticon



JMOUSE99
SparkPoints: (94,760)
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Posts: 4,014
12/3/12 12:50 P

I am a "womenfolk", and I do not really get into the holidays. I often say that if it came once every 5 years, that would be perfect. I could get excited about it then. The Christmases just come too close together for me.



BLUENOSE63
SparkPoints: (96,850)
Fitness Minutes: (74,375)
Posts: 2,905
12/3/12 12:41 P

I think someone hit the nail on the head when they said "there usually is a reason why people, male or female, don't like Christmas.....I agree with this as celebrations always evoke memories whether they be good or bad for people.....

We get the whole family involved in the tradition -- outside done by DH and DS while my final approval. All baking and cooking done by DH and DS. Now all shopping, wrapping, running around is me job as Social Director of the Holidays. Yet at the end of the day the thing we love the most is that we are together, healthy and happy -- you gotta love turkey and stuffing

KJFitnessDude: I am inviting you and your girls to Ottawa, Ontario Canada for Christmas any year you would like to come.......I love your posts -- they make me laugh

Have a good one everyone



TIG123GER
SparkPoints: (76,906)
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Posts: 2,116
12/3/12 12:08 P

My hubby is actually pretty good. It's usually me that can't seem to get in the spirit and he has to prod me to do anything.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/3/12 11:54 A

Christmas Lights Gone Wild
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmgf60CI_ks



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
12/3/12 11:49 A

I think I would be a little concerned if my husband got into the glittery bulbs, the bows and all the twinkles as much as I did, of course most women get into decorating more or first, but hey bra off to those men who go all out decorating their houses on the outside, especially the ones where that the lights play with the music, that is some spirit there, that must take some great time to do! Christmas is not holiday gendered. I have seven siblings, four sisters and three brothers and the only one I hear griping some is my younger sister. I think she wears herself out from Halloween which is her favorite holiday. I noticed for those who love Halloween a lot, I mean a lot, because I like it but not like some, those are the ones who don't care for Christmas as much.



BERKANA_T
Posts: 138
12/3/12 11:44 A

I don't prod my SO into participating in the holidays, although I do know that he has voluntarily participated for a few things only because he thought that I'd enjoy them. For example, he took me to his company Christmas party this year - the first time he's gone in years!

He's the one that makes sure the majority of the Christmas shopping is done before the end of November, but the only gifts he'll wrap are the ones for me. I wrap the rest, mostly because he's TERRIBLE at wrapping presents (on purpose maybe?). I do all the Christmas baking, but he makes Christmas dinner. And until my daughter and I moved in, he didn't bother with a tree or decorations at all, because he always went home to his parent's for Christmas. Now they come to visit us, so we decorate.

We also celebrate more than just Christmas over the holiday season, so that tends to be more my focus with Christmas just being thrown in because everyone around us is doing it.



YELLOWDAHLIA
SparkPoints: (83,504)
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Posts: 11,778
12/3/12 10:19 A

There may be some men out there that really get into Christmas, however, in my 49 yrs I have never met one.




ARUSHING2
SparkPoints: (26,830)
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Posts: 720
12/3/12 10:12 A


Just looking at myself, brothers and Dad vs. my sisters and Mom - sure seems to be primarily or at least in general, a gender defined differentiation.

Several of my sisters start acquiring the decorations immediately after Christmas for the following years. OK, I can understand that sure enough. A couple of my sisters also get the majority of their gifts to give during the next go around at the same time! That is 364 to 355 days ahead of the following Christmas ! ! !

My Dad would think of it all a week or so beforehand. Some brothers never got into the "Spirit" or at least not until after the fact!



FIRECOM
SparkPoints: (107,673)
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Posts: 5,855
12/3/12 9:45 A

My memories are from when I was young and even though my parents never had a lot of extra money, Christmas was still a time of joy and sharing.
When our kids were little, we did not have much money either but somehow, Christmas was still full of good times and now they are good memories.
I love Christmas even though I tend to get into the doldrums sometimes.



SARAHF1988
Posts: 603
12/3/12 9:16 A

Mine doesn't really like Christmas because his parents had him when they were very young (16) and struggled a lot financially. He explained to me that Christmas was always a stressful time in his family because his parents so desperately wanted to give him decent gifts like all the other kids had. He said he doesn't like that people are somewhat forced to spend money that they may or may not have. I appreciate this as he does actually have a reason rather than just not liking it. Since we have been together (this Christmas will be our 5th together) we have focused more on just spending the day together, we buy each other gifts but tend not to focus on the price and we definitely don't buy each other things just for the sake of giving gifts. We buy things that we know will mean a lot rather than cost a lot for example this year he bought me and my cousin tickets to see the cirque du soleil Michael Jackson show when it comes over to the UK in 2013 because we had tickets to see Michael before he died but obviously never got to go. He bought these months ago when he had money and I don't expect anything else from him, it's probably the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever got me and I was surprised he actually thought of it. I have also been making gifts - I'm currently knitting him a scarf which he is absolutely chuffed with because nobody has ever really made him anything, and it costs next to nothing to make. I've also been doing the Christmas shopping for both our families gifts throughout the whole year so that we don't feel the stress of gift giving which is what he hates. Since we've been doing all these things he has started to enjoy Christmas much more - I was snuggled on the sofa the other night watching a cheesey Christmas film and he came and joined me which he would have never done a few years ago.

Sorry for the long winded reply but I do feel strongly that whatever the reason for someone (male or female) not liking the holidays there are ways to get around it. Christmas especially is what you make of it which is why I don't understand when people say they don't like how commercialized Christmas has become - have your own Christmas and don't worry about what everyone else is doing. I know my friends and family love receiving home made gifts from me.



BIGDOG1969
SparkPoints: (26,713)
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Posts: 1,028
12/3/12 8:49 A

I love the holidays. Always have.



WAY2GOCAT
SparkPoints: (56,762)
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Posts: 4,353
12/3/12 8:49 A

Although my husband is not "into" the holidays, this year he has encouraged me to decorate for both Thanksgiving and Christmas and has even helped me. He hasn't celebrated holidays most of his life, but enjoys celebrating with me because I enjoy it. He's a peach. emoticon



LOVE4KITTIES
Posts: 1,823
12/3/12 8:45 A

I do not enjoy the holiday season very much... There is too.much commercialism. The Christmas decorations go up in the stores before Halloween and you are just pushed to.buy, buy, buy, consume and consume some more. My husband's family expects plenty of gifts and it is usually a financial strain on us. If we don't comply, we end up looking cheap. At both of his parents' houses, there are drawn-out gift exchange rituals which seem to go on forever and which leave me feeling uncomfortable. Then, there is the extra work of decorating, taking the decorations down, cooking, shopping, etc. It is tiring. There is the pressure by each part of the family to spend the actual holliday at their house and the hurt feelings and upset when a choice has to be made, not to mention that whatever happens is always inconvenient for us and usually involves spending a significant time driving. My husband likes the holidays a little more than I do.

In my family and in my husband's family, a good majority of the men spend ths holidays planted on the couch while the women cook and then clean up.

Edited by: LOVE4KITTIES at: 12/3/2012 (09:29)


JASTAMPER11
SparkPoints: (57,069)
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Posts: 2,323
12/3/12 8:33 A

My husband's family didn't really celebrate anything while growing up...his mom had to have the spot light.. I try real hard to make memories for my 2 daughters. My husband does not. He wont even pick anything out for his birthday or Christmas.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/3/12 8:27 A

Now that I'm on my own I have to make Christmas happen for my two daughters otherwise, I'm like most guys you all have shared with us; bah-HUMBUG!
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MILTONS1
Posts: 2,837
12/3/12 8:21 A

my husband goes along with what i suggest but if i didn't suggest it, then not much would happen



CHATTYAHOLIC
Posts: 54
12/3/12 7:57 A

My Dad really wasn't into Christmas, he went along with it for my Mom and me. He was from a large, poor family so Christmas wasn't all that important while he was growing up.

As for my husband, he was raised Mennonite so they didn't do a lot for Christmas either. He participates, for me, but all the decorations, tree, etc. really don't matter all that much to him. He enjoys getting together with the family, and we observe Christ's birthday, but all the other hoopla he could probably do without.



SHAZZLEMONSTER
Posts: 469
12/3/12 7:53 A

My Bub is not a fan of Xmas. At all. He still does his own gift shopping though...no way am I going to buy his brothers gifts for him. I have my own family to shop for. When it comes to decorations I do it myself cos I love that part of Xmas. It's my favourite part. We split cooking our Xmas dinner, he does some, I do some. We both enjoy our special dinner on the day. I can't imagine trying to prod him to do anything. One.. it woudn't work and two.. if he tried that on me I'd resent it, so I assume it works the same for him.




FENWAYGIRL18
Posts: 5,844
12/2/12 10:23 P

I must of married the perfect man cause he's into all of it... decorating, loves to go to Christmas craft fairs with me, shopping... I know my guy is rare and that's why we've been together for over 18 yrs....
I don't have to poke or prod him to do anything with me or for me he does it all on his own out of love emoticon



ATHENA1966
Posts: 2,273
12/2/12 6:57 P

Ok this is my opinion. Guys are not into the whole decorating and cooking thing. They just aren't. And drag them to a holiday party, they are only pretending to have fun. My husband will go to the mall kicking and screaming. He does buy good presents though.






LILYSMOM08
Posts: 1,142
12/2/12 6:35 P

This is one time of year when my husband tells me he's glad he's not a woman ! I think it's funny because his reasons are a big part of the "why" I love the holidays..........



RUBENB2003
Posts: 10,266
12/2/12 6:32 P

I like the holidays but there are some aspects of it that bother men. Going to a crowded mall to go shopping is not high up there on my list of things to do. Going overboard on decorations, also to very fun. But hanging out with the family together for good or bad, yeah we can deal.



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
12/2/12 5:20 P

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KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/2/12 4:30 P

Your advice on another thread is why, "ignore", GREAT ADVICE!



OBIESMOM2
SparkPoints: (61,086)
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Posts: 4,472
12/2/12 3:47 P

when we did buy Christmas gifts, DH & I had an agreement. I did Christmas shopping from Dec 26 to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. Anything that was left at Thanksgiving was his responsibility.

We stopped the gift exchange 5 or 6 years ago. I like Christmas MUCH better without all the shopping madness. The first year we didn't exchange gifts was kind of a bummer. But now I love it. The very small kids get presents. The adults just get together for a visit.

XH was definitely a downer from Thanksgiving to the end of the year. His kids lived far away and he didn't get to see them more than once or twice a year. The holidays just made him miss them more.



GYMMAN59
SparkPoints: (72,188)
Fitness Minutes: (66,276)
Posts: 3,750
12/2/12 3:05 P

I love Christmas.My sons and I put up the outside lights,so far noticing a decrease in my city.I love watching the Christmas Hallmark Specials with my loving wife.Its a beautiful thing to help others who are less fortunate.I believe thats what its all about.

Merry Christmas emoticon emoticon emoticon



EASTENDCLAM
Posts: 1,758
12/2/12 3:01 P

I enjoyed the holidays when the kids were growing. They've flown the coop so holidays are "meh" for me now.



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
12/2/12 2:33 P

Blue Jean Lady wants to know why you pulled your comment Killerjoe ;)



KISSFAN1
Posts: 6,256
12/2/12 1:31 P

My husband will do things for the holiday, he's just not as good with money as I am so I normally do most, if not all, of it.



ASHLEYGILLE
SparkPoints: (11,117)
Fitness Minutes: (2,227)
Posts: 1,427
12/2/12 1:06 P

My husband procrastinates when it comes to Christmas shopping and this drives me crazy as I'm the sucker who generally helps him by wrapping his gifts! Usually on 12/24!



JICKEE
Posts: 399
12/2/12 1:04 P

Having worked at the Post Office for 28 years (retired 2009) Christmas is not high up on my list of favorite holidays.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/2/12 12:41 P

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see the blue words below?

Edited by: KJFITNESSDUDE at: 12/2/2012 (12:47)


ARMSPORTS
Posts: 1,310
12/2/12 12:41 P

My wife gets started on it all early, especially the decorations and the music. I tend not to get into the Christmas spirit until late (like a week or so before) because I am just too busy and distracted with work. Some holiday traditions are sacred though, like cutting down a REAL Christmas tree. Not a fan of all the Christmas parties and such.

To me the best holidays involve a long weekend and some form of grilling...Memorial Day, 4th of July and Labor Day.



I_HEART_MY_FAM
Posts: 1,809
12/2/12 12:35 P

You always put other men down, do you really know real men? You always are on top, you want to tell us you are better then most men or what?. I personally do not know a man who does not enjoy the holidays. Some like it more then others, but all enjoy. You really should like yourself and stop stereotyping "most" men, because you are never right.



YOJULEZ
SparkPoints: (15,605)
Fitness Minutes: (120)
Posts: 2,171
12/2/12 12:30 P

It definitely is a stereotype, as I know some men who love the holidays. But, my boyfriend is NOT one of them, nor are most of my guy friends. It's not that he hates Christmas or anything, he just doesn't care about decorating the house, listening to christmas music etc. I did all our decorating myself and when I tried to get him to do the outside with me he pretty much refused... but said "you can do whatever you want". I also did all the gift shopping for HIS family, and he just paid for it. Although I didn't mind that mostly, it was fun spending someone else's money :) He didn't do anything for Thanksgiving except eat and watch football but that's fine. I don't like sharing my kitchen. He likes Halloween OK, but he plays hockey on Wednesday nights so he wasn't home this year for trick or treaters, but he said he handed out candy in years past, which sort of surprised me :)

It's going to be great though, we are going to an ugly Christmas sweater party, and I told him he has to wear anything I buy him, and he actually agreed. I found him a sweet sweatshirt that has puppy dogs with santa hats and a Christmas tree and presents all over it. hehe.

Edited by: YOJULEZ at: 12/2/2012 (12:45)


KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/2/12 11:41 A

Yeah, not true for "all" me, that's why I disclaimered the beginning of my post.
LOL!



HEIDIOHS
SparkPoints: (69,726)
Fitness Minutes: (50,270)
Posts: 1,992
12/2/12 11:00 A

I think this is a stereotype... it's true to a degree, but not for all men - and I might add that not all women like the hullabaloo around the holidays either.

Speaking for myself and probably several other women, I have to say that with all the commercialism, it's not my favorite time of year. When I make a concerted effort to tone down the mad rush of shopping and spending too much money, I certainly enjoy the holidays more. But the pressure to spend, spend, spend and always do just one more thing is everywhere around us and it definitely takes a sustained effort of being aware of one's limits and politely refusing unneccessary extras to not overcommit.



DROPCONE
Posts: 1,520
12/2/12 10:47 A

Eh, we each like & are good at different things for holidays. I'm good at decorating and food, he's good at shopping & gift giving. Together we have most of it covered!



GLITTERFAIRY77
Posts: 8,023
12/2/12 10:41 A

OH my Gosh. It's totally true. I do think my dad enjoyed the holidays because of us kids, when he didn't have to work. (He was an RN for many years.) My kids' father? Ugh. Captain Negative on Thanksgiving, complaining about everything-but his behind ATE and quite well. He gets presents for the kids for Christmas, but he tends to hide out up in the room and play Madden. Then New Years, he MIGHT go out with a couple friends, but he's home well before midnight, and falls asleep also well before midnight...I try to make the holidays special for him, but he really is a Scrooge Before the Visitation by Three Spirits-and if they were to show him Christmases past, they probably would see why he hates the holidays so much and stop bothering him.



KJFITNESSDUDE
Posts: 15,787
12/2/12 10:10 A

Ok, not YOUR man, I'm sure, but from what I have observed over the last half century menfolk do NOT like to be bothered with holidays (From Halloween til New Years') and only do participate because they've been prodded to do so by the women in their lives.

Do you find this to be true to any degree or Hogwash, of COURSE he likes to participate........or ELSE!
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